Hi Neung,
I've made some corrections to your essay. Any corrections I made are now in red letters. If you have any questions about what I mean, or would like a more detailed explanation on why something was incorrect, please ask. We'll try to answer.
AnonymousMy name is Jeerapun Khunsopa and
My (don't capitalize 'my') nickname is Nueng. I 'm 22 years old. I was born in Suphan Buri province and
move (should be 'moved', since it's in the past) to
Bangkok, this is (remove the words 'this is', and add a comma after Bangkok) with my family when I was nine years old. I graduated from Bangkapi school of fishing. My favorite websites are Google, Yahoo!
<... some URLs removed by a mod.> I enjoy visiting tourists attractions and traveling. I also enjoy reading, going to movies and watching TV. I'm very interested in politics. I am following the presidential race in my county. I'm also interested in the global warming crisis and alternative sources of energy, such as solar and wind power. My dream job would be to run a successful Internet company that helped people. I have visited Cambodia,Can
nada,
(correct spelling is 'Canada', with only 1 'n') Hong
kong,
(capitalize 'k' in 'Kong') Laos and Mexico. I went to Chiang Mai on my last vacation. It was great!
and (remove the word 'and' to avoid a sentence fragment) I do not have any pets, but I wish that I had a dog. My house does not allow pets. I have two brothers and one sister. If I won a million Baht, I would travel around the world. I would really like to visit Japan. My
hight (correct spelling is 'height) is 173 and My weight is 64. My blood type is B and
My
(don't capitalize 'my') hobbies
is ('hobbies' is plural, you need the plural verb 'are' instead)
Listen (this should be 'listening' instead of 'listen, and don't capitalize it) to the radio
, and (since there are only 2 hobbies, remove the comma and add the word 'and') read (this should be 'reading' instead of 'read') catoon. My address is Bangkapi
Neung, I think this was very good work for your first writting attempt. You did have a few very minor mistakes, but you still did quite well.
One more thing to remember, is that when you're typing things on the Internet, always put 2 spaces after a sentence, instead of one, to make them easier to read. This is a very minor thing, but it does make all writing a little easier to read, (even if it's written correctly!)