Some of these are pretty funny. They’re mistakes from new English language students
(from: www.InnocentEnglish.com)



From a Student’s Christmas Card:


May You Be Full of it
This Peaceful Holiday Season!


Health:

It is dangerous to smoke while
you are becoming pregnant.


* * * * *


Last night, when I ate dinner, I started joking.
My friend hit my back very hard until I stopped.
I was so lucky he was there!



Parents:


I always ate lunch at school.
But every day my mother made me suffer.


* * * * *


My bed has three blankets
and a large guilt my parents gave me.


* * * * *


My father met us at the airport
and gave me a big hog.
Then he hogged my wife.



Renting:

How many people live in your apartment building?
I don't know for sure, but I have wild gas.


* * * * *


You can't sleep with me because it is
too crowded. But you can probably
sleep with my sister. That's what most
of my friends do when they visit.


Weddings:


I have something exciting to tell you.
My girlfriend and I got enraged last night!


* * * * *


The groom was wearing
A very nice croissant.


* * * * *


He lifted the veal off her face
and gave her a big kiss.


Sports:


When we won, I was so exciting
I had goose pimps all over my body.


* * * * *

Did I tell you I climbed half way up
one of the tallest pigs in the world?


* * * * *

It was so exciting to watch!
The cheerleaders threw up high into the air.



A Recipe:


-First, heat up your pants really hot, then add oil.
-Put the cabbages in salt water. Then sit in the sink
until the morning.
-Next, chop all the vegetarians into little pieces.
-Next, add a little Buddha and mix it all up.
-When you are finished cooking, find a suitable bowel
and eat it with chopsticks.


courtesy of www.InnocentEnglish.com

Actual letter written for application of leave :

"My wife is suffering from sickness and as I am her only husband

at home I may be granted leave".