NO TRESPASSING WITHOUT PERMISSION.

Hotel bedroom, Japan: GUESTS ARE REQUESTED NOT TO SMOKE OR DO OTHER DISGUSTING BEHAVIOURS IN BED.

Doctor's surgery, Rome: SPECIALIST IN WOMEN AND OTHER DISEASES.

Cocktail lounge, Norway: LADIES ARE REQUESTED NOT TO HAVE CHILDREN IN THE BAR.

Hotel, Acapulco: THE MANAGER HAS PERSONALLY PASSED ALL THE WATER SERVED HERE.

Hotel airconditioner instructions, Japan: COOLES AND HEATES: IF YOU WANT CONDITION OF WARM AIR IN YOUR ROOM, PLEASE CONTROL YOURSELF.

Zoo, Hungary: PLEASE DO NOT FEED THE ANIMALS. IF YOU HAVE ANY SUITABLE FOOD, GIVE IT TO THE GUARD ON DUTY.

Resaurant, Nairobi: CUSTOMERS WHO FIND OUR WAITRESSES RUDE OUGHT TO SEE THE MANAGER.

Car rental brochure, Tokyo: WHEN PASSENGER OF FOOT HEAVE IN SIGHT, TOOTLE THE HORN. TRUMPET HIM MELODIOUSLY AT FIRST, BUT IF HE STILL OBSTACLES YOUR PASSAGE THEN TOOTLE HIM WITH VIGOUR.

River highway: TAKE NOTICE: WHEN THIS SIGN IS UNDER WATER, THIS ROAD IS IMPASSABLE. Men's lavatory, Japan: TO STOP LEAK TURN TO THE RIGHT Poster: ARE YOU AN ADULT THAT CANNOT READ? IF SO, WE CAN HELP.

Restaurant: OPEN SEVEN DAYS A WEEK, AND WEEKENDS TOO.

Automatic hand dryer in public lavatory: DO NOT ACTIVATE WITH WET HANDS.

Maternity ward: NO CHILDREN ALLOWED. Cemetery PERSONS ARE PROHIBITED FROM PICKING FLOWERS FROM ANY BUT THEIR OWN GRAVES.

Restaurant menu, Switzerland: OUR WINES LEAVE YOU NOTHING TO HOPE FOR. Bar, Tokyo: SPECIAL COCKTAILS FOR THE LADIES WITH NUTS.

Temple, Bangkok: IT IS FORBIDDEN TO ENTER A WOMAN EVEN A FOREIGNER IF DRESSED AS A MAN.

Japanese public bath: FOREIGN GUESTS ARE REQUESTED NOT TO PULL IN TUB.

Hotel bedroom, Thailand: PLEASE DO NOT BRING SOLICITORS INTO YOUR ROOM.

Hotel brochure, Italy: THIS HOTEL IS RENOWNED FOR ITS PEACE AND SOLITUDE. IN FACT, CROWDS FROM ALL OVER THE WORLD FLOCK HERE TO ENJOY ITS SOLITUDE.

Hotel bedroom, Japan: YOU ARE INVITED TO TAKE ADVANTAGE OF THE CHAMBERMAID.

Hotel, Yugoslavia: THE FLATTENING OF UNDERWEAR WITH PLEASURE IS THE JOB OF THE CHAMBERMAID.

Hotel lobby, Bucharest: THE LIFT IS BEING FIXED FOR THE NEXT DAY. DURING THAT TIME WE REGRET THAT YOU WILL BE UNBEARABLE.

Supermarket, Hong Kong: FOR YOUR CONVENIENCE, WE RECOMMEND COURTEOUS, EFFICIENT SELF-SERVICE.

Hotel, Moscow (opposite Russian Orthodox monastery): YOU ARE WELCOME TO VISIT THE CEMETERY WHERE FAMOUS RUSSIAN AND SOVIET COMPOSERS, ARTISTS, AND WRITERS ARE BURIED DAILY EXCEPT THURSDAY.