I need help with the grammar, especially with commas :)

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Anonymous  #296876  Thu, 23 Nov 06 08:38 PM

Hi,

tomorrow I must hand in my cover letter to my lecturer. Our task was to write a cover letter and a curriculum vitae. It was not very difficult to write there is maybe a problem with my grammar. I want to ask you whether you could check my grammar. Pleaseeeeeeeee Smile [:)]

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Subject: Internship Marketing

Dear recruiter,

An employee of Berliner Flughaefen GmbH (Berlin Airports Association) told me that you offer an internship in the marketing department. As you can see in my CV I am a student at the International University of Applied Sciences *** , working toward my bachelor’s degree in ***.

My university provide me the possibility to connect my theoretical knowledge with practical experience in the fifth semester. Therefore I want to grab the chance to perform my internship at the Berlin airports which I also connect for many years with my region *** . I also would like to understand in practise the individual processes at the “System Airport”.

Thanks to my part-time job as waiter at the state theatre *** I have learned how to concentrate and focus on goals, but also that teamwork, thoroughness and commitment are important key elements for all kinds of work. Accordingly I see myself as a person who very highly values organisation skills and teamwork, and fulfil tasks which are given to me very accurately.

The enclosed curriculum vitae provide more details about my experiences and skills. If you affirm that I would be a positive addition in your team, please feel free to call me or write me an email. Thank you for considering my application. I look forward to hearing from you.

Yours sincerely,

Soeren ***

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Thanks a lot to everyone who will help me Smile [:)] Thanks!!!!!

Greeting

Soeren

  
Feebs11  #297301  Fri, 24 Nov 06 07:49 PM
 Anonymous wrote:

Hi,

tomorrow I must hand in my cover letter to my lecturer. Our task was to write a cover letter and a curriculum vitae. It was not very difficult to write there is maybe a problem with my grammar. I want to ask you whether you could check my grammar. Pleaseeeeeeeee Smile [:)]

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Subject: Internship Marketing

Dear Sir/Madam (unless you have a name),

An employee of Berliner Flughaefen GmbH (Berlin Airports Association) told me that you offer an internship in the marketing department. As you can see in my CV I am a student at the International University of Applied Sciences *** , working toward my bachelor’s degree in ***.

My university allows me the possibility to connect my theoretical knowledge with practical experience in the fifth semester. I would like to take the chance to perform my internship at the Berlin airports which I have used for many years to travel to and from my home district . I also would like to understand in practice the individual processes at the “System Airport”.

Thanks to my part-time job as waiter at the state theatre ***, I have learned how to concentrate and focus on goals, but also that teamwork, thoroughness and commitment are important key elements for all kinds of work. Accordingly I see myself as a person who very highly values organisational skills and teamwork, and I believe that I fulfil tasks which are given to me very accurately.

The enclosed curriculum vitae provides more details about my experiences and skills. If you consider that I would be a positive addition to your team, please feel free to call me or write me an email. Thank you for considering my application. I look forward to hearing from you.

Yours faithfully,

Soeren ***

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Thanks a lot to everyone who will help me Smile [:)] Thanks!!!!!

Greeting

Soeren

  
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