Grammar Exercise (Connector & Transition)

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Dear experts,

Can you please help me take a look at my Grammar Focus exercise and help me correct my mistakes if there are any?

Thank you so much!

The following are the given error sentence/word and my edited sentence/word:

1. (The underline sentence is where error can be found)

Given paragraph:

Singapore is an ideal country in Asia to investigate stress among this group due to its reliance on IT to develop into a communication, business and economic centre for Asia (Tan & Igbaria, 1994). (1) In pursuit of its IT2000 plan is aimed at turning Singapore into an intelligent island, the government is placing heavy emphasis on the use of IT to develop an advanced national information infrastructure. The government policy makers recognized the need to develop skilled IT manpower to help Singapore realize its national IT objectives (Teo & Lim, 1998).

My edited sentence:

Singapore is an ideal country in Asia to investigate stress among this group due to its reliance on IT to develop into a communication, business and economic centre for Asia (Tan & Igbaria, 1994). (1) In pursuit of its IT2000 plan, it is aimed at turning Singapore into an intelligent island. In addition, the government is placing heavy emphasis on the use of IT to develop an advanced national information infrastructure. The government policy makers recognized the need to develop skilled IT manpower to help Singapore realize its national IT objectives (Teo & Lim, 1998).

2.(Missing of a connector/transition)

Given paragraph:

In fact, with the increasing use of IT by both developing and industrialized countries, IT personnel constitute an important component of the workforce that can aid companies and to improve efficiency and compete effectively in the global markets.

______, it is important for managers and organizations to understand the different types of stressors experienced by IT personnel in order to assist them in better managing stress experienced at the workplace.

My edited sentence:

In fact, with the increasing use of IT by both developing and industrialized countries, IT personnel constitute an important component of the workforce that can aid companies and to improve efficiency and compete effectively in the global markets.

___Therefore__, it is important for managers and organizations to understand the different types of stressors experienced by IT personnel in order to assist them in better managing stress experienced at the workplace.

3. (Missing of a connector/transition)

Given paragraph:

One of the major problems which plagued the IT industry in Singapore is the high employee turnover rate of about 14.6% in 1992 among IT personnel (NCB, 1993). (3) _______ this rate has decreased from 17.3% in 1988, it is still high compared to other industries in Singapore. Employee turnover presents a wide range of problems for organizations.

My edited sentence:

One of the major problems which plagued the IT industry in Singapore is the high employee turnover rate of about 14.6% in 1992 among IT personnel (NCB, 1993). __Although__ this rate has decreased from 17.3% in 1988, it is still high compared to other industries in Singapore. Employee turnover presents a wide range of problems for organizations.

4. (The underline sentence is where error can be found)

Given paragraph:

Frequent displacement of skilled IT personnel may lead to escalating costs for organizations as new employees need to be recruited and trained, and may lead to low morale amongst those remained in the organization (Loh, Sankar & Yeong, 1995).

My edited sentence:

Frequent displacement of skilled IT personnel may lead to escalating costs for organizations, as new employees need to be recruited and trained. Thus this may lead to low morale amongst those remained in the organization (Loh, Sankar & Yeong, 1995).

5.(The underline sentence is where error can be found & missing of Connector/Transition)

Given paragraph:

By identifying and understanding factors which would cause stress for this group, organizations and government policy makers will be better able to design training, motivation and coping programs to help this group of employees alleviate their stress.

_____, findings of this research would provide those who intend to join the IT profession with a general picture of the demands or stressors which they may encounter on the job.

My edited sentence:

By identifying and understanding factors which would cause stress for this group, organizations and government policy makers will be better able to design training, motivation and coping programs to help this group of employees alleviate their stress.

___In conclusion_, findings of this research would provide those who intend to join the IT profession with a general picture of the demands or stressors, which they may encounter on the job.
New Member02
Hello, AJanixe - and welcome to English Forums. These are the answers I would give:

(1) In pursuit of its IT2000 plan, aimed at turning Singapore into an intelligent island, the government is placing heavy emphasis on the use of IT to develop an advanced national information infrastructure.

(2) OK

(3) OK

(4) Frequent displacement of skilled IT personnel may lead to escalating costs for organizations, as new employees need to be recruited and trained, and this may lead to low morale amongst those remaining in the organization (Loh, Sankar & Yeong, 1995).

(5) In addition, findings of this research would provide those who intend to join the IT profession with a general picture of the demands or stressors which they may encounter on the job.
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