Hi,
1) Where I think we need to carve out some territory of definition in practice is to say that proselytism is relating to people different from oneself by using means and methods with ulterior motives in order to convert. But what's happening in secular literature is that it is moving even beyond the ulterior method definition, where some secular specialists on human rights and international law use proselytism to mean "any attempt by religious believers to win converts from other religions or from your religion." And when we see proselytism move into that extensive and broad an expression, it then curtails on the invitation to witness and to make meaning for people, in terms of engaging them around the validity of Christian perspective.
Can an be deleted? No. Kindly check punctuation usage in the above passage and insert punctuation where needed. You might consider not starting sebnetenes with 'But' and 'And'. Could you perhaps say 'However' and 'Moreover'?
(2) They have a vision for what I would call “soul care,” without the same vision and commitment to social care. May I suggest to us that mature evangelists have discerning minds that believe in the whole counsel of God? May I suggest to us, as you listen to that definition, that evangelists are not restricted to religion?
May I suggest to us, as we think about engagement, can we first of all give permission and take permission. That is to say, people have the right to self-define. I also need to take the responsibility to self-define.
Is the usage " May I suggest to us" ok? Please check It seems a bit oddd to say 'us' here. Why not just say 'May I suggest'?
(3) We have surrendered to life-denying violence that simply incites more deadly and devastating violence.
Is the usage of " We have surrender to" ok? Please check.
(4) Half of them were Muslim and half of them were Christian. This is OK, because the two words are used as adjectives.
Should the above sentence have a plural usage "Half of them were Muslims and half of them were Christians." This is also OK, but the two words are nouns.
(5) We need more modeling of how to deal with diversity in positive ways.
Can of be replaced with on? Please check. Either is acceptable.
(6) One of my appeals in the Canadian context has been that, if we had been better at dealing with diversity between us as Christians in this country, we would be relating to cultural diversity in a lot more positively today than we are at this point.
Is the in insertion ok? Please check. No, you need to remove it.
Best wishes, Clive