Grammar of a letter

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Anonymous  #503114  Sun, 20 Apr 08 10:54 PM

Hello,

I'm a guy from Sweden and right now I'm writing a letter to a university in the USA.

Since it's a very important letter I want it to be perfect.

I'd really appreciate it if someone here could have a look at it and give me any hints on changes or anything!

 
 
Dear Sir or Madam,

Ever since my high school graduation I've been filled with hope of waking up being happy to go to work. I personally don't think that's a utopia but without higher education and previous work experiences it's easier said than done to get that golden opportunity.

As I see it, too many people have jobs they dislike. I don't want to spend my life that way and that's why I'm writing this letter. I've been looking feverishly for an inspiring and developing education for a time now. After reading a lot of reviews and personal statements, Academy of Art University appeared to have the most interesting educations.

Design and advertising has always fascinated me. I'd even like to say it's a life style. I do possess the motivation and creativity, so I dearly hope I'll get the chance to develop myself in the world of design at Academy of Art University.

I wish I'll get the opportunity to meet you personally this fall!

Would be a dream come true.

Yours faithfully,
Michael Carlberg. 
 

 
Thanks for taking time!
 
/Michael
  
Mister Micawber  #503337  Mon, 21 Apr 08 01:10 PM
.
I'd start again, Michael, and try to take a serious, mature attitude to the process of applying for university admission.

  
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Anonymous  #503567  Mon, 21 Apr 08 10:37 PM
Hi Micawber,

So it's that terrible? 

Could you give me any guidelines? I'm applying for the school through a swedish university and all the applicants are supposed to write a personal letter. I have no clue how I could write the letter in another way, so any hint would be appreciated!

/Michael

  
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