grammar questions

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Anonymous  #535888  Wed, 02 Jul 08 04:02 PM

(1) While at Oberlin, Lucy developed a like-minded friendship with Antoinette Brown, who would later become the first woman to become an ordained Protestant minister in the United States.

 

Is repetition of become necessary in "who would later become the first woman to become an"? Please rephrase.

 

(2) The attention and special treatment accorded young athletes continues into adolescence. Green recounts the favorable treatment accorded him and his young teammates; how the other kids gaze at them starry eyed and adults fawn over them simply because they are talented athletes.

 

Should it be “accorded to young athletes”? Please rephrase if necessary.

 

(3) He stretched the patience of the school superintendent by his disregard for class attendance despite being excused from afternoon classes to attend football practice. Nor did Thorpe make much use of the paid tutors that were provided Carlisle athletes.

 

Should it be “provided to Carlisle athletes.” Please clarify.

 

(4) However, Rose preferred rubbing elbows the common people to the celebrity circuit.

 

Is any preposition missing after “elbows”? Please check.

 

(5) The modified relationship with the press when Michael Jordan was playing in the NBA in the 1980s and ‘90s are reflected in journalist David Halberstam’s book on the Chicago Bulls star.

 

Should it be “is reflected”? Please check S-V agreement.

 

(6) Seldom did alcohol go any farther than that, as drunkenness wasn’t tolerated among the players in the Negro League ball parks. Winter League play in Latin America was an another matter.


Should it be “was another matter”? Please check.

 

(7) The team manager’s imprudent conduct coupled with a club environment conducive to imbibing alcohol were prelude to a tragedy.

 

Should it be “was prelude”? Please check.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

  
Feebs11  #535947  Wed, 02 Jul 08 06:25 PM

Anonymous

(1) While at Oberlin, Lucy developed a like-minded friendship with Antoinette Brown, who would later become the first woman to become an ordained Protestant minister in the United States.

Is repetition of become necessary in "who would later become the first woman to become an"? Please rephrase. It would be better as "the first woman to be ordained as a Protestant minister"

 

(2) The attention and special treatment accorded young athletes continues into adolescence. Green recounts the favorable treatment accorded him and his young teammates; how the other kids gaze at them starry eyed and adults fawn over them simply because they are talented athletes.

Should it be “accorded to young athletes”? Please rephrase if necessary. "to" is understood in this phrase.

 

(3) He stretched the patience of the school superintendent by his disregard for class attendance despite being excused from afternoon classes to attend football practice. Nor did Thorpe make much use of the paid tutors that were provided Carlisle athletes.

 Should it be “provided to Carlisle athletes.” Please clarify. Again, "for" is understood in this.

 

(4) However, Rose preferred rubbing elbows the common people to the celebrity circuit.

 Is any preposition missing after “elbows”? Please check. "with" is missing

 

(5) The modified relationship with the press when Michael Jordan was playing in the NBA in the 1980s and ‘90s are reflected in journalist David Halberstam’s book on the Chicago Bulls star.

 Should it be “is reflected”? Please check S-V agreement.  Unless there is a typo and it should be "relationships", then yes, it should be "is".

 

(6) Seldom did alcohol go any farther than that, as drunkenness wasn’t tolerated among the players in the Negro League ball parks. Winter League play in Latin America was an another matter.

Should it be “was another matter”? Please check. A typo. "an" is unecessary.

 

(7) The team manager’s imprudent conduct coupled with a club environment conducive to imbibing alcohol were prelude to a tragedy.

 Should it be “was prelude”? Please check. There are two factors: imprudent conduct and club environment, so "were" is correct.

 

 
  
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