We have partnered with TradePub to bring you free industry magazines and resources - no coupons or credit cards required!

Visit: englishforums.tradepub.com


Share this topic:
This is a discussion thread.
Latest post Thu, Nov 6 2008 3:53 AM by babyblue_girl08. 2 replies.
| |
babyblue_girl08  +  583898 Wed, 05 Nov 08 06:55 AM
hi everyone i need help for this paragraph. Can someone check my grammar and verb tenses? please!

Normal 0 false false false MicrosoftInternetExplorer4

In the essay” Wreck the Hall with Antique Vases”, written by Nina Penalosa, she states that she got blamed for broken the vases even she didn’t do it. That accident when she was four year old and she never forget the detail on that night. On the Christmas Eve her cousin Cynthia and her sister Nikki was playing in the hallway near to her mom fragile collections. But unfortunately they accident hit one of antique vases of Nina mom. When she heard the sound and looked into the hallway. She saw Cynthia and Nikki quickly ran to the safely place and left her alone in the hallway. When adults in the living room heard the crash from the hallway, they quickly ran into it. When they came, Nina was the only one standing there and stared at the broken pieces of glass. All they yes are looked on her and asked “Nina, what did you do?” she said she didn’t do anything. Suddenly her auntie Ashie yelled at her and asks her to apologize to her mom. Her auntie pushed her toward her mom to say sorry. But her mom didn’t mad at her at all. She also adds everything seemed fine but her auntie started to scolded her and yell at her in her native language. She said, she was scared at her shark voice. When Nina said sorry to her mom, then her mom gave her a hug. The she ran to her room, over there she cried some more and talk to her doll. After a few minutes Cynthia oldest sister came to her room and invite her to color with them. But she reject it and ask them to leave her alone. After the Christmas day Cynthia and Nikki admit that they breaking the vases but they didn’t get the punishment. She concludes  that, she never forget that Christmas Eve when her cousin and sister broke her mom antique vases.

Joined on Thu, Mar 13 2008
New Member 31
AlpheccaStars  +  584221 Thu, 06 Nov 08 12:25 AM

Dear BBG - Please try to be careful when you write. If you don't think carefully about every word you write, you will not learn why you make mistakes.  Think about tenses - present, past, future. Think about plurals - is this one, or more than one? If it is more than one, add an 's'. Think about possessive case - if it belongs to someone or something, add "'s" Think about the infinitive form. It does not use the past participle. 

I have made suggestions to the first part of your paragraph. Try to think about grammar carefully when you correct the second part. Then post your paragraph again.

All the best,

A-Stars

babyblue_girl08

In the her essay” Wreck the Hall with Antique Vases”, written by Nina Penalosa, she states that she was got blamed for  breaking  (gerund) broken the vases even though she didn’t do it. That accident happened when she was four years (plural)old and she never forgot (past tense)the details (plural)  on that night. On the Christmas Eve, her cousin Cynthia and her sister Nikki were (plural) was playing in the hallway near to her mom's (possessive) fragile collections. But unfortunately they accidentally (adverb, not adjective )hit one of antique vases of Nina's (possessive) mom. When she heard the sound and looked into the hallway. She saw Cynthia and Nikki quickly running (gerund) ran to a the safely place and leaving (gerund -parallel with running) left her alone in the hallway. When the adults in the living room heard the crash from the hallway, they quickly ran into it. When they came, Nina was the only one standing there and staring (was standing and staring) stared at the broken pieces of glass.

All they yes are looked on her (please rewrite the first part of the sentence; "are looked" is not past tense, and it is not a proper verb form) and asked “Nina, what did you do?” she said she didn’t do anything. Suddenly her auntie Ashie yelled at her and asked (past tense) her to apologize to her mom. 

 
Joined on Sun, Oct 12 2008
Senior Member 3,508
The pen is mightier than the sword. Edward Bulwer-Lytton (1803-1873)
babyblue_girl08  +  584274 Thu, 06 Nov 08 03:53 AM
Normal 0 false false false MicrosoftInternetExplorer4

thank you so much for always cheking my writing. Here i edited my paragraph.

All they eyes were looked on her and asked “Nina, what did you do?” she said she didn’t do anything. Suddenly her auntie Ashie yelled at her and asked her to apologize to her mom. 

Her auntie pushed her toward her mom to say sorry. But her mom did not mad at her at all. She also adds everything seemed fine after she said sorry to her mom but her auntie start to scolded and yelled at her in their native language. Nina said, she was scared at her auntie shark voice. When Nina apologized to her mom and she gave her a hugged. Then she ran to her room, over there she cried some more and talk to her doll. After a few minutes Cynthia oldest sister came to her room and invite her to color with them. But she rejected it and asked them to leave her alone. After the Christmas day Cynthia and Nikki admitted that they breaking the vases but they didn’t get the punish. She concludes that, she never forgot that Christmas Eve when her cousin and sister broke her mom antique vases.

© MediaCet Ltd. 2009, v5.0.3607.32596. All content posted by our users is a contribution to the public domain, this does not include imported usenet posts.*
For web related enquires please contact us on webmaster@mediacet.com, status updates are available at status.mediacet.com.
*Usenet post removal: Use 'X-No-Archive'. You may not have understood that your posts would end up in the public domain. Please send proof of the poster's email, we will remove immediately.