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This is a discussion thread.
Latest post Thu, Sep 4 2008 10:05 PM by bruno_ts. 4 replies.
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Philip
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Thu, 03 Jul 08 10:42 PM
This is in response to a thread in a language section that asks for alternatives to the word 'hate'. I thought this response belongs here rather than there.
I have a psychologist friend who insists that 'hate' is really a combination of 'love' and 'fear'.
Hate is a very expensive emotion, in that it brings no reward or satisfaction.
If one hates a person, that is a lot of emotional energy to expend on someone supposedly not worth the effort.
The object of one's hatred must be very important in the life of the person doing the hating, otherwise, the emotional expenditure wouldn't be worth it. Might this mean that the person actually loves rather than hates the object of the emotion?
The person doing the hating must be afraid of the object of the emotion, afraid that the person might hurt the other again.
Scenario: I've been linked with a lover for eight years, and then that lover dumps me for someone new. I've truly loved this person. Now when I claim that I hate the ex-lover, perhaps I am combining that love that I've had with fear that I might be hurt by this person again.
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At reise er at leve! - H. C. Andersen
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Grammar Geek
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Thu, 03 Jul 08 11:53 PM
I cannot agree that it is necessary to love someone in order to hate them. (Imagine the emotions you might feel toward a stranger who kidnapped, raped, and murdered your child. I think we can go with "pure hatred" without an ounce of love.)
However, do agree that love and hate are not opposities, but rather "indifference" is the opposite to either. Both love and hate require a significant emotional investment.
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Barbara, who answers in American English. My housekeeping skills attest to the truth of the second law of thermodynamics: Left to themselves, things get more and more random!
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Ruslana
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Sat, 05 Jul 08 05:42 PM
There's a saying... "There is one step between the love and the hatred." Well, I think it's right to some extent, but not in all cases. (As GG pointed out giving the example of kidnapping, raping, etc.)
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Titithi
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Sat, 30 Aug 08 08:19 AM
- What an emotion it was when hate is a combination of love and fear giving a complex feeling to the "failed' lover. In truth, people often fear someone or something that they love will be taken.No matter what forms of love they are,I agree that fear is really an important agent that makes you hate your ex-lover.
- In consumed love,religion and culture tend to trace a deep influence in this emotion.You will feel a sentiment of culpability when involving in this triangle love due to the concept of marital fidelity in monoganous marriage and in the prohibition of adultery in thought of the seventh commandment. There is no abnormal if you hate your ex-lover. Not only is hate a combination of love and fear but it's also clearly affective as grief and jalousy.It is possible to be over this negative emotion.Who has the greatest emotional control is the person often gets his way.
- In romance, you must put yourself in competition. There are numerous broken relationship that began in sweet love and ended in bitter anger and hate in this game Love is emotion of wanting while jalousy is emotion of having.Thus, you should ask yourself the reason why you hate your ex-lover,the reason you think you hate him or her, and do you feel good to hate him or her?Would it be fair to hate someone if he meant no harm to anyone?
- In true love,you have nothing to lose and nothing to gain.So there is no jealousy.Who have the most to gain have the greatest to deceive. Who have the least to gain and want nothing and who give everything,they can love perfectly.In this unconditional love, there is no desire and reciprocation.How can you fear a rival and how can you hate your ex-lover in case of the break?There was no doubt that displacement was the best way to sold the problem. Indeed, an emotion can only overcome by a stronger emotion. It's really a bad condition if you should empathizing a love's joy with another lover when true love couldn't be fleeting .So, there is a small step between hate and love.True love is always feared by most people because it can never be repressed.A famous Vietnamese monk has advised us:"No matter where or when you live,you would find materials needs (such as food and drink..) very important to keep and develop your love instead of looking at the after glow to build a cloudy castle of love"
- Love is sacrifice of sorts so forgiveness is the only way of ceasing to feel resentment or anger against another person.In some context, it may granted without any expectation of compensation and without response ie; we may forgive a person who is dead.The sad truth that many people lived their life in anger and hate and they were easily slighted and took a malign pleasure in hurting others.Therefore love is good for us.Those who love most are happiest while those who hate most live in abysmal dark sadness.
- Nothing could be more generous than forgiveness.So spare a smile and forgive for those unhappy people who would hurt you most.You won't feel hate anyone even the ex-lover, the person who makes you painful to live in anger ,jalousy and grief .Try to find an another,you will feel better than living in this complex emotion .May be you haven't truly loved .In true love ,you want nothing and give everything so it's difficult to fear that you might be hurt.
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bruno_ts
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Thu, 04 Sep 08 10:05 PM
 Grammar Geek“ I cannot agree that it is necessary to love someone in order to hate them. (Imagine the emotions you might feel toward a stranger who kidnapped, raped, and murdered your child. I think we can go with "pure hatred" without an ounce of love.) However, do agree that love and hate are not opposities, but rather "indifference" is the opposite to either. Both love and hate require a significant emotional investment. ”
Yeah, I think like as Grammar Geek. If you hate somebody who someday you loved, you're really ungrateful. Because I'm sure this person did you very happy in your past together. And isn't easy to forget the bad moments, or the separation. Hate is a very heavy word.
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_Sometimes my mind plays tricks on me.
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