I haven't written in a few years, so tell me what you think

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Guest  #21429  Thu, 05 Feb 04 08:31 AM
(I stopped writing a year before I started listening to Ani, I stopped listening to her, a while back, and every time I pick up the pen, it seems like I write one of her songs, music has a funny way of affecting you. Please be brutaly honest.)

Untitled

I'm here.
Midnight to midnight.
Insomniac?
No. I just can't close my eyes.
I dream about you,
The memory rushes back when I wake.

No one sees me,
But I’m still there,
Beneath the mild mannered demeanor,
Beneath the scars,
Beneath the part of me that yearn to tear away from society, lie down and just sleep.
Sleep until I see you,

I can’t make it stop,
The world revolves yet I stay in one place,
Perpetual limbo.

One more moment, to touch your hair,
To look into your eyes and tell you that I love you,
I’ll never have that,
And so I can’t find myself.

But I’m still there,
Sane. For the moment.
At least the man with the diploma on the wall seems to think so,
“It’s normal to go through this,” he says,
“You have as long as you need to grieve.”
Who gave this asshole a diploma any way?
Is it still grieving when I catch myself talking to you over breakfast?

Is it still grieving when I can hear you answering me?


  
maj  #21433  Thu, 05 Feb 04 08:46 AM
Why do these words touch me so deep? Who wrote this poem and why?
  
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pieter  #21499  Thu, 05 Feb 04 04:20 PM
That was an excellent one. Welcome to the Forums, dear poet.:)
P.S. " It's not us being drawning. We are the river." P.Sz.
  
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maj  #21501  Thu, 05 Feb 04 04:25 PM
Pieter, I can't believe this. Do you know that I was about to write a similar line to the one you have just posted in my previous poem? Is it just a matter of coincidence?
  
pieter  #21513  Thu, 05 Feb 04 05:05 PM
What line?
  
foureyed  #21522  Thu, 05 Feb 04 06:19 PM
what is that?: P.S. " It's not us being drawning. We are the river." P.Sz.
  
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maj  #21523  Thu, 05 Feb 04 06:29 PM
Hey, I love what you do to me!!!
I love the way you change my words,
I love the way you change my posts,
I love the way you change my thoughts,
I love the way you say mine
I am loving it, hey, hey, hey.
  
pieter  #21527  Thu, 05 Feb 04 06:34 PM
It means: "It's not us being drawning. We are the river."
  
foureyed  #21532  Thu, 05 Feb 04 07:03 PM
ok, so i've looked up drawning, everywhere. Look'd up the quotation, can't find anything... Is it something like:

"No man is an island, entire of itself;
every man is a piece of the continent,
a part of the main. " - J. Donne

???
  
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