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Anonymous

#538434 Tue, 08 Jul 08 05:26 PM
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Please edit my paragraph writing. Thank you for helping me. Introduce Myclassmate The last class I interviewed my classmate His name is Atirach limphaiboon and he nickname is Toon. He is 19 years old. Your birthday is 7th July 1989. He was born in Chiang Rai province and move to Bangkok is a big city with my family when I was three years old. He live in donmuang , North Bangkok until He was 13 and he live near Saphan Khwai BTS, which is about fifteen minutes to Chandrakasem by bus. My favorite sport are football table tennis, volleyball and bicycling with his friends. He is single and lives with his best friend. He enjoy visiting tourists attractions and Traveling. He also enjoy read a catoon book, going to movies and watching TV. This semester, Atirach is studying art, English, and computer science. After university, He and His roommate work in a restaurant as waitresses. Atirach like his job very much. Your dream job would be to run a successful Internet company that helped people. He plans to become a lawyer. Atirach has an exciting lift, and he seems to have a bright future ahead of his. He have visited Belgium, Bazil, Chile, France and Mexico. He went to Rayong on my last vacation. It was great!. He do not have any pets, but he wish that he had a cat. My apartment does not allow pets. He have one brother and two sisters. if he won a million Baht, He would travel around the world. He would really like to visit New Zealand.
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Grammar Geek

#538441 Tue, 08 Jul 08 05:43 PM
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I have highlighted errors. You use "he" and "your" and "I" so it's not clear who you are talking about. Your capitalization is uneven, and you need to use the past tense.
Anonymous
Please edit my paragraph writing. Thank you for helping me. Introduce Myclassmate
The last class I interviewed my classmate His name is Atirach limphaiboon and he nickname is Toon. He is 19 years old. Your birthday is 7th July 1989. He was born in Chiang Rai province and move to Bangkok is a big city with my family when I was three years old. He live in donmuang , North Bangkok until He was 13 and he live near Saphan Khwai BTS, which is about fifteen minutes to Chandrakasem by bus. My favorite sport are football table tennis, volleyball and bicycling with his friends. He is single and lives with his best friend. He enjoy visiting tourists attractions and Traveling. He also enjoy read a catoon book-comic books, going to movies and watching TV. This semester, Atirach is studying art, English, and computer science. After university, He and His roommate work in a restaurant as waitresses. Atirach like his job very much. Your dream job would be to run a successful Internet company that helped people. He plans to become a lawyer. Atirach has an exciting lift, and he seems to have a bright future ahead of his. He have visited Belgium, Bazil, Chile, France and Mexico. He went to Rayong on my last vacation. It was great!. He do not have any pets, but he wish that he had a cat. My apartment does not allow pets. He have one brother and two sisters. if he won a million Baht, He would travel around the world. He would really like to visit New Zealand.
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Joined on
Tue, Jan 10 2006
Pennsylvania, USA
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Barbara, who answers in American English.
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