Hi,
(1) This might seem a strange title, but I want to begin---since I was asked to speak about disagreements of religion after September 11th---begin with a truth that anxiety itself is not against religious attachment.
Please check usage of two "begins" one before emdash and one after emdash.
Repetition like this is a common rhetorical device in speeches. So, if you are 'speaking this', it would be OK. But don't write it this way.
(2) And Persia, Iran, where I come from, lost practically half its population and some 20, 30 million people were killed in this invasion.
Can 20, 30 million be changed to twenty to thirty million? Please clarify. Yes, if you want to. Just be consistent, ie handle all similar numbers ina similar way.
In speaking, "some 20, 30 million people" is OK. But in writing, say "some 20 or 30 million people".
(3) And I will say at the outset that I do not believe that the September 11 events has had a deep effect upon Hinduism and Buddhism and Sikhism and Neo-Confucianism and Taoism and Shintoism and the other great religions of Asia, nor the primal religions of Australian aborigines or Africans or the Native Americans.
Can the sentence be edited like (bold are edits)? You need to say 'have', since 'events' is plural.
And I will say at the outset that I do not believe that the September 11 events have had a deep effect upon Hinduism and Buddhism, and Sikhism and Neo-Confucianism, and Taoism and Shintoism, and the other great religions of Asia, nor the primal religions of Australian aborigines or Africans or the Native Americans.
(4) This statement of mine is based on what the <i>Manchester Guardian</i> and other Western newspapers have written, not on some conjecture by some Muslim extremist. Over 100,000 people, who have perished as a result of that act. So one evil act has resulted in another evil act, but the second evil act is hardly ever spoken about, because it is not seen as an evil act.
Should it be "who have" or "have"? Please check. 'Have'. And remove the preceding comma, of course.
Best wishes, Clive