Help with Proofreading

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Anonymous  #223807  Tue, 09 May 06 05:33 AM

Hi,

I was wondering if anyone could help as far as proofread to see if it makes sense. This is for a memo for my adivisor. In it I ams suposed to write a progress report showing my progress toward my degree. I'm supposed to begin with a statement of my overall goal and how I plan to achieve it. Also I'm supposed to include a discussion of courses, credits, grades, and grade point average and conclude with a discussion of my career plans.

Here's the memo:

Date:          May 11, 2006

To:             Dr. Mackay

From:         Student

Subject:      My Progress toward My Studies

 

I am writing to discuss my progress in the completion of my degree. So far, I have completed all of my core courses and am nearly finished with taking the required courses for my major.

 

As you know, my goal is to go into the field of veterinary medicine. To achieve this goal, I have volunteered at the Humane Society and have shadowed a veterinarian at the Northeast Animal Clinic. From these experiences, I have gained nearly 100 hours in animal experience.  I also have gained some leadership experience by becoming Secretary of Sigma Alpha Lambda, an honor society on campus.

 

I have already taken the necessary perquisites for admission into the Texas A & M College of Veterinary Medicine, and have maintained a GPA of 3.3, in which I hope to improve by the end of my junior year. I have already taken the GRE, and plan to retake it in August to improve my scores. I haven’t yet put in a letter of application to the school, but I hope to do this the by end of fall semester 2006.

 

At our last meeting, we discussed options of alternative degree programs in case I don’t get admitted into a veterinary program. One program that I expressed interest in was Master of Public Health at the UT Houston School of Public Health. To help gain a perspective of this field I will be taking Environmental Health in the summer and Introduction to Epidemiology in the fall. Also to gain more field experience, I will begin volunteering at the Department of Veterans Affairs in which I can interact more with patients and learn more about the healthcare environment.

 

Overall, I believe that I am on track towards the completion of my degree and my plans for the future. I hope that my progress report was insightful and I hope to speak with you in the future to provide more update on my success.  

 

  
Mister Micawber  #224133  Wed, 10 May 06 06:35 AM

am nearly finished with taking the required-- change to have nearly finished the required
to go into-- change to to enter
animal experience-- change to experience with animals
also have gained-- change to have also gained and delete the following some
perquisites-- wrong word.  change to prerequisites
in which-- change to which
haven’t-- change to have not
by end of-- change to by the end of the
options of alternative-- change to alternative
don’t get admitted into-- change to do not gain admission to
that I expressed interest in-- change to in which I expressed interest
Master of Public Health-- change to the Master of Public Health program
comma after field
comma after Affairs
my progress report was-- change to this progress report has been
I hope to speak-- change to I look forward to speaking (to avoid the two 'hope's)

  
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