Help with Tenses

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lakegirls  #576395  Tue, 14 Oct 08 09:13 PM
Hi,
  I don't know if this is the right forum, but I need help with tenses. There is 20 pages to my novel and I need to make sure that they are all in the right tense. So I wouldn't be too much trouble could someone please help.


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Chapter one: Hot-dogs and wine.

“She did what with what?" April Fisher asked in a voice that suggested she had never heard something so disgusting and equally dirty.

She sat Indian style on her soft white Egyptian cotton bedspread with a glass of 1916 Margaux red wine in one had.   It was her mother’s most expensive wine, but the girls had been drinking wine since the age of thirteen and it was nothing out of the ordinary just to drink for fun. Plus they needed something special to get over the hump day.                                                                                            

“She used a hot-dog, well the wiener part, to… you know," Bridget Granger told April and their other best friend, Brookelyn Walker. She giggled and drained what was left in her burgundy grand cru wine glass.

Brookelyn giggled harder than Bridget did, and April wore a half-amused, half-disgusted look on her face.  She took a large swig of her rouge liquid and remarked, “God, how could anyone be so disgusting? Is she really that desperate?"

She shook her head slightly, making her golden blonde hair fall in her face. She swept it out of the way and downed the remaining liquid in her glass with another large swig.

A white Persian cat peeped its head in around the door and moved it open slightly with its tail. It was stuck high in the air in a haughty way. The snow white cat meowed and April stretched down to pick it up and place it on the high bed. The kitty stepped over April’s feet and plopped itself onto to Brookelyn’s legs. Brookelyn looked at the cat and pushed it down.

“Get away you silly kitty.” She said trying to remove it from her legs.

The cat hissed loudly and swiped a paw at Brookelyn’s hands.  She pulled her hands back and lifted up her foot – which the cat was resting on – and dropped it back down, causing the cat to make a even louder hissing noise.

“Brooke!” April cried hitting her leg. “Oh, come here Duchess.” She cooed picking up the cat that Brooke said had a grudge against her.

April told Brooke the reason for that would be because she put Duchess in a pool when she was a kitten and always tortured her, but Brooke just said it was because she was a ***.

Brooke stuck out her tongue at the cat and rested her head against the foot of April's black wooden headboard. She undid the top button of her blouse, that she was wearing with her pink lacy underwear and sighed loudly crossing her legs.

Having been friends with Bridget and April for most of her life; Brooke did not mind the fact that she was only in her underwear and blouse, nor did the two other girls.  They had seen each other naked on multiple occasions, it was nothing that made their cheeks turn red. They were sisters, well practically.

Brooke’s blue-gray eyes opened wide and she looked at Bridget.

“Did she use ketchup?" Her voice came out sounding like she had been just been told that she could have the pony that she wanted since third grade. “Or mustard or relish or cheese? Any kind of lube?"

She sat up straight and waited for an answer to her highly stupid and pointless question. Bridget half frowned and let out a laugh. April rolled her blue-green eyes and said in a very matter of fact tone:

“No Brooke, of course she didn't. It was raw. She couldn't use a boiled one for that."

Brooke mouthed the word "Oh" and finished her bittersweet wine, which was making her light headed and stupid, in one gulp. Holding her glass between her legs she put her red-orange hair back in a loose ponytail and pushed her side-swept bangs back. She then eased back against the headboard sighing.

The three girls sat in silence, none of them talking. Just sitting, doing their own thing. April poured some more wine for herself, probably thinking about the lack of sleep they were getting. Bridget started texting on her Blackberry, which was almost glued to her hands and Brooke was almost asleep.

Bridget stopped texting whoever else was up at two on a week night and asked "Do we have anything to eat?"

"Probably, but Pablo..." April began but was cut short from Bridget's questioning look.

"What happened to Pierre?"

April, May (April’s younger sister) and June (April's mother) had no clue what to do in a kitchen, besides how to make coffee, which a six year old could possibly do. After June burned down their old house five years ago, from trying to make a grilled cheese sandwich, she hired a live in chef to go along with their maid named Lucy and driver, Al.

April took the glass from between Brooke's legs and placed it on her beside table next to her.  “He moved back to Paris to be with his lover." She said putting a French accent when saying lover.  

Bridget's emerald eyes, lined with eyeliner, widened in surprise and amusement. "What? Pierre has a girlfriend?"

The idea of April's very feminine chef having a girlfriend was very odd to anyone who knew him.  There was one time that the three girls had been in June’s room getting ready for a party and he came in and said,

 “Oh my god! You girls look fabulous! But April, honey. Blue so does not go with blue eyes.” And walked out to finish cooking supper.

"No. His lover. He's gay; Mom walked in on him and his boyfriend kissing. So our hypothesis is proven to be right." April gave a sly smile. She took Duchess off her lap and pulled down her silky night shirt over her legs.

"I love gay men. I think their so sweet." Bridget smiled at April who smirked back.

The only reason Bridget loved gay men were because they were always the hot ones and the best boyfriends you could ever have. They would know exactly what to buy and have good taste in clothing. The only thing would be that every time you say a cute boy, they would look at him too and they wouldn’t really be that into you.

Bridget placed her empty wine glass on April's beside table then shoved her curly chestnut brown hair up in a messy bun that would take anyone else minutes to perfect. Bridget was often described as being Greek with her olive skin and loose curls. She looked like a goddess, that didn’t need any amount of make-up to look gorgeous.

She stretched out her legs – that were muscular from her waking up every morning at dawn to run – and hopped off April’s bed.  She opened up a drawer from April’s black dresser and took out a pair of boxer shorts, which she slipped on over her underwear.

"Let's order Chinese then." She suggested climbing back up on April’s bed.

"I don't care, as long as we do not have hot-dogs." Brooke told them in a groggy voice. Bridget covered her mouth to make sure she didn't snort from laughing so hard and April shook her head grinning.

She patted Brooke's leg and finished her wine. "Don't worry, Brooke. We won’t be having them for a long time."

"Good." She said turning over on her side.

Bridget got into a giggling frenzy over that and it took her a few seconds to recover. “She is drunk." She told April, her lips still turned upwards from laughing.

"Way to state the obvious." April told Bridget picking up her i-phone and pressing the digits for Chinese food. Bridget giggled again and sighed as she listened to April calling out their usual to their favorite Chinese place.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Chapter two: Four hours of sleep does not cure drunkenness.

            Brooke lay on her stomach, listening to the blaring music that was coming from what she thought was her alarm clock at home. She moved her hand around looking for the source and began to pat the air next to her, but gradually moved it down until she was hitting something hard.

            “Stupid alarm clock.” She muttered half asleep. She moved her nails along the smooth surface, Bridget’s foot, looking for the snooze button.

            Bridget giggled and moved around her feet, trying to get free from the tickling. “Stop it!” She cried, pulling her foot back quickly from Brooke’s tickling – trying to find the snooze button – which resulted in hitting Brooke in the face.

            “Ouch!” Brooke complained covering her nose and mouth with both hands. “Bridget that hurt.” She glared at her friend and rolled over on her back, releasing her hands from her wounded area.  

            She rubbed her nose and stuck her finger to the tip of her nostril to check for blood, when she was satisfied that there was none she looked at Bridget in a way that she thought looked scary but really looked quite funny.

Bridget laughed and said “I’m sorry, sweetie.” She blew a kiss to Brooke and sighed as she stretched her arms over the top of her head.  She wiggled her body to the song on the radio – as if she were a belly dancer – then swung her long legs over the side of April’s high bed.

            Brooke sighed and rolled over on her side. “Please hit the snoo-o-oze.” Brooke said. Bridget did as she asked and Metro Station’s “Shake it” ended.

            Brooke whispered “Thank-you.” before closing her eyes in an attempt to fall back asleep.

            Bridget walked out of April’s room and into a large chocolate brown bathroom, where April stood in a white blouse and underwear straitening her hair.  Bridget stood next to her in the mirror and took her hair out of its messy bun.  She picked up April’s tweezers and plucked a stray hair.

            “Ew.” She said under her breath as she ran a hand through her matted curls.

            April placed her CHI straitening iron down and turned to her side. She craned her neck to see the back off her hair. She looked at Bridget in the mirror. “Do you need a shower?” she asked running a hand through her silky hair.

            “Yes.” Bridget replied. 

            “Does Brooke?” April asked.

            Bridget shrugged her shoulders. “She went back to sleep when I left.”

            April sighed, “Okay. You go in May’s bathroom and May can go in Mom’s. I’m going to get Brooke.”

            Bridget nodded her head and left the bathroom. She walked down to the end of the hall and into April’s younger sister’s room. April switched off her straightener and walked into her own room. She opened the door to her large walk-in closet and pulled one of her many royal blue skirts off a hanger. She pulled it on over her lacy underwear and went walked over to side off her bed.

“Brooke, get up! We have to be in school in an hour.” She told Brooke poking her sharply in the side. She stood next to the bed, her arms crossed under her double D chest. 

            Brooke popped open her blue-gray eyes and stared at the deep red walls; she moved her head slightly to look at April. She was already dressed and her black bra was viable through the thin cotton of the blouse.

            “So?” She asked sleepily putting a pillow on top of her face, she had turned over on her back, and her arms were crossed under her perky B cups.

            April plucked the fluffy pillow off of Brooke’s face. “So? You have to get up and get showered.” She told Brooke impatiently.

“April!” Brooke whined.

            “Up. Now. Shower.”  April walked out of the room after she had sat Brooke upright and went out into her mother’s master bedroom.

As soon as she left Brooke flopped back on bed and stared at the snow white ceiling. After several seconds of Brooke pondering and sniffing her armpits, she decided that deodorant would not cut it; she only made a decision this way if she was too tired to get up.

            She heard April and May talking in the hall, then footsteps emerging. Brooke quickly got up off her toned ass, and zoomed across the room.  She was just about walk out of April’s bedroom door when April showed up in the doorway. Brooke stood grinning at her and April sighed, taking Brooke’s hand.

            “Come on sweetie. You stink.” She told Brooke as she walked her out of them room and into her Private bathroom.  

It contained a large stand up shower and a wide bath tub with jets that was perfect for parties and was used on many school nights when a study group turned into a party with booze and pizza.

            Brooke furrowed her brow and grumbled at April but didn’t speak. She just let April drag her into the bathroom so she could shower.

            “Get in the shower. I’m going to get towels from Lucy.” April told Brooke letting go of her hand and leaving the bathroom.  

            Brooke nodded her head looked around April’s bathroom that she had almost had sex in, two years ago. 

It was April’s sweet sixteen and Brooke had just gotten drunk for the first time. A guy – whose name had slipped her mind before he tried to take off her skirt – wanted to find some place private so they could “talk”. Brooke had let him drag her into the bathroom and she was going to do it with him, but when Bridget walked in with a few girls from school, it was like relief had taken over her body.

Brooke scratched the back of her leg with the other one and looked at herself in the large mirror where she had gotten ready for a day of school on countless other occasions. Brooke turned to walk into the shower, but there seemed to be something stopping her.

            “Ouch!” She yelped rubbing her forehead.

            April came in through the door and dropped the towels that were in her hand on the floor. “Brooke! Why didn’t you open the door before you tried to go in?” She asked as she pulled open the shower door.

            “It’s glass! I couldn’t see it.” Brooke told her rubbing her forehead vigorously. April sighed and began to undo the buttons on Brooke’s white blouse that she had slept in the previous night – well four hours.

            Brooke batted her hand away, “I can do it myself.” She told April trying to undo the next button. She fumbled for a few seconds before April finally took over.

            “I can take off my panties and bra. Turn around.” Brooke said moving her index finger in a somewhat circular motion.

            April grinned to herself and turned around so she was facing the wall and not Brooke. She smoothed out the royal blue viscose skirt that she was required to wear at her school and examined her nails. Brooke’s grunting filled her ears and she bit her lip before a giggle escaped and before her boob’s popped out of her shirt from laughing so hard.

            “The stupid bra is stuck.” Brooke yelled reaching her hands over her head. April smiled and went behind Brooke; she undid the bra in a quick second, all the time keeping her laughter in.

            Brooke rolled her eyes up to the ceiling and crossed her arms under her bare boobs, “You make everything look so easy.” She grumbled. April laughed, knowing Brooke would not have said that without the wine, and reached her hand into the shower to turn the knob on cold.

            “Get in.” She said stepping aside. Brooke stood there, looking dumbfounded. April groaned and grabbed Brooke’s arm to push her in. Brooke, who hadn’t expected it tried to come back out, but April had already shut the shower door on her.

            Brooke squealed as she stepped into the icy water. “April its cold!” She cried.

April placed two towels on the hook next to the shower and placed the other towel on the floor, so Brooke wouldn’t flood the place. She stood up looking in the mirror and said “Good, it will wake you up."

            “I’m already awake stupid!” Brooke shouted through the rushing water.  She fiddled with knob until she had the hot water on full blast and steam was fogging up the glass.

            April chuckled, “Oh my god, Brooke.” She said leaving the bathroom to let Brooke shower until she was kind of sober.

           

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Chapter three: May & June.

            “Morning my loves.” June Fisher sang as she sat down on a bar stool next to Brooke who now smelled fresh like lavenders and was not as drunk as she had been.  A hot shower usually cured her from being drunk, but there was still the matter of a hang-over.

June was still in robe that she always put on over her thin night dresses that she wore to bed every night. She turned to her other side and pressed her lips to April’s temple. A wisp of golden blond hair fell into her face; she tucked it aside and looked at the girl’s semi seriously. 

“Did you all eat your bananas this morning?” She questioned with a mischievous smile, her clear blue eyes twinkling in a teasing way.

April and Bridget laughed and nodded their heads, Brooke shook her mane of red hair, sprinkling June and Bridget with tiny droplets of water.

            “I don’t understand why I always have to eat a banana’s after I’ve been drinking.” Brooke said.  She bit off the top half of the banana – that April had handed her – and placed the rest on the counter.

            “Because bananas have potassium.” April explained taking a sip of her creamed coffee with sugar. She ripped off a chunk of her everything bagel with cream cheese and popped it in her mouth.

            April, Bridget and Brooke live in a world very different from many seventeen and eighteen year olds – April is one year older, she started kindergarten a year later then she was suppose to. Their parents do no care if they drink, smoke, do drugs, sleep with older men or have parties on school nights. Most of their parents have successful jobs that take away from their time at home, so the girls are basically free to do what they wish.  However, the parents still care and they still do parent, just in a different way.

June didn’t work, like all the successful woman of the world; she didn’t have to get dressed until night fall if she didn’t want to. She lived off of her father’s money that was given to her when she was fifteen because she got pregnant with April. The man she was with then was ten years older then her, and left his family to be with June.  Four years later June was pregnant again and he left June to be with his old family.

            “What goes around comes around.”  June said when her mother made a remark about the karma of the situation

“Oh, that makes more sense now.”  Brooke said sliding off her bar stool to make herself a cup of coffee with three spoonfuls of sugar.

April and Bridget exchanged arched eyebrow looks. They both grinned, Brooke had no idea what potassium was, both girls knew she didn’t, but they didn’t say anything because neither were in the mood to explain it to a drunken Brooke Walker.  June shook her head chuckling, knowing exactly what the girls were thinking.

            June looked up at the sight of the girl who had her eyes and butt. She smiled brightly at her youngest daughter, (who she was more protective of) May Fisher. “Morning, sunshine.”  She said.

May did not only have June’s ass and eyes. She was almost identical to her except her face was more round, her hair a bit lighter, she was shorter and well… Aprils showers did not bring May her flowers yet.

            “Morning.” Said May going over to the coffee pot to pour herself a cup. She filled it almost all the way to the top and started to add mounds of sugar.

            April nudged Bridget and pointed to May with her eyes. “When did you start drinking coffee?” April asked with a hint of knowing in her voice. She took a sip of her own coffee and watched her baby sister adding milk to her Winnie the Pooh mug.

            May stamped her foot and glared at her sister. “Since I became a freshman.” She whined with annoyance in her tone. She took a large mouthful of her overly sugared coffee and a disgusted look came over her face.

            April smirked and finished her coffee. She hopped off the barstool and went over to the sink to place her mug in it. Bridget also got off her chair and did the same.

            “Do you want your orange juice?” She asked her little girl.

            “Mmm.” May nodded dumping the remains of her disgusting coffee in the sink.

June chuckled and slid off her chair and went over the kiss May’s forehead. She reached into the cupboard after planting a kiss next to May’s bang and poured up a tall glass of orange juice for her.

April walked over to the stairs and motioned for Brooke and Bridget to follow her.

“Oh. May? If you want a ride to school, be ready in 10 minutes.” April called as she jogged up the stairs after her friends.

 

“Kay.” May said grabbing a muffin from the basket on the counter. She slathered butter on her blueberry corn muffin and bit into the top half, finishing with a gulp of orange juice.

June sat down next to May tightening the silky tie on her robe.  They both sat silently as May wolfed down her muffin as fast as she possibly could.

Bridget and Brooke emerged from the stairs, wearing St. Alexander Livingston school uniforms: A white blouse with a royal blue tie and matching royal blue viscose skirt. May started freshman year that month and the other three attended the senior class.

Bridget sat down next to May and smiled at her. May smiled back and asked,

“Did you have fun drinking last night?”

May was normally nervous around the older girls in her school. She always complained about them to June, but Bridget and Brooke were like her sisters so she asked them whatever she pleased.

“Yes. Two bottles of Margaux usually does the trick.”  Bridget told May with a sly smile texting on of beloved Blackberry.

June chuckled, and finished her coffee in the next mouthful. She walked over to the sink and placed her mug in it, rinsing it for Lucy.

April came down the stairs and started at May. “Are you almost ready?” She asked putting her oversized Prada bag on the counter top.  She pulled out the keys to her bmw m6 and slung her bag back over her shoulder.

 “Yes.” May said through a mouthful of muffin. “I just have to brush my teeth.”

 “Well hurry.”

May washed the muffin down with the rest of the orange juice in her glass and bounded up the European style stairs on her way to finish prepping for school.

 

 

 

 

 

Chapter four: The chemistry lab could mean something dirty.

Justin Blanche walked down the crowded halls of St. Alexander Livingston for girls and boys; he ran a hand through his dark blonde tousled hair and stopped in front of his wooden locker. The sun streamed through the window, hitting his deep blue eyes so he had to shield them with his arm. It was almost as if it were telling him to leave school and go get drunk with his friends for the rest of the day. He wanted to, badly, but his parents – even though they live in Paris – are big on school.

When Justin was fifteen his parents left to travel the world – just like they had planned to do when his father retired –and left Justin’s older brother, Benjamin, in charge of the household. Last year they decided to live in Paris full time, and left Justin and his twin brothers, Olivier and Derek, alone in the house, but they flew in every three weeks – to check on them, give them more money, etcetera – and on special occasions.

            “Hey, Justin.”  Cameron Gray said coming up next to Justin and opening his own locker door. Cameron’s best friend, Drew Beherd, sauntered up next to him and casually leaned against the locker doors.

A group of sophomore girls walked by and he flashed them a smile to go along with his devilishly good looks: black hair – prep school cut – blue eyes and a toned body, basically anything you could think of to make a girl melt.  The three girls giggled uncontrollably and sped past him.  A smile formed on Drew’s kissable lips.

            “Drew, you’re so cocky.” Cameron told him hitting his arm. Drew turned his gaze away from the cut brunette and chuckled. Justin laughed and closed his locker door without taking out any books, he could do it later.

            “What can I say? The girls love me.” He drawled. He smiled cockily at his friends who grinned back knowingly. What Drew really meant is that they loved his *** – as he mentioned so many times before.  “I’ll be right back, I’m going through a brunette faze.” He told the two going over to where the brunette stood, eyeing him flirtatiously.

            Cameron rolled his eyes and watched as his best friend flirting with the junior girl. Cameron, unlike Drew, is more quiet and sweet and hardly ever flirted. He looked like a baby with his blonde curls and blue eyes. Drew, however, is an obnoxious ass, who liked to be caught by any girl who put a net over him. Yet they are still best friends and have been since 2nd grade when Cameron moved here, but no one really knew why.

            “This message is to all students. There will be an assembly this afternoon to welcome the new principal to the school.” A nasally voice said over the PA system.

            Justin and Cameron watched didn’t even notice the announcements. They watched as Drew smiled and made the girl toss her head back and laugh. He leaned in closer to her, making her laugh even louder.  She took a pen out of her locker and scribbled something down for Drew. He grinned at her and walked back over to his friends, his smile widening.

            “Do, did you get his number?” Cameron asked as Drew came back from hitting on the curvy junior.  Drew raised his eyebrows – that looked plucked – and sighed.  He turned to his friend and said,

            “Cam, do you really think that I wouldn’t?”

Cameron shrugged his shoulders and looked at Justin to see what he thought. Justin looked at him and laughed.

            “Oh come on, Cam. He’s like the king of girls. Of course he did.” Justin told Cameron but cast a sideways glance at Drew as if to make sure his king was still king.

            With a roll of his eyes Drew produced a piece of paper – that brought the aroma of flowers – and held up the digits to show the two boys. He slipped it back in his pocket – before either of them could memorize it – and glanced at his watch. Cameron met his gaze and pointed at the school clock with his eyes.

            “Listen man, I’m going to go. I still have to copy Cam’s history homework.” Drew told Justin slinging his black leather bag over his shoulder.

            Cameron looked at Drew for a minute before nodding his head and shutting his locker door. “See you at practice.” He said walking away from Justin.

            “See ya’ later, man.” Drew followed Cameron down the hall and disappeared around the corner.

            “Hi, Justin!” A bubbly freshman girl said bursting into Justin’s thoughts. “Bridget told me to give you this!” The freshman – who was obsessed with the idea of Justin and Bridget getting together – handed Justin a folded up piece of paper with his name written on it in Bridget’s arabesque handwriting.

            Justin looked at the girl for a second, as if he were trying to profile her. He studied her for one more second and then his face broke out in a smile.

            “Thanks, Penny.” He said, watching as he face lit up with pleasure because he knew her name.  She was cute and all, but Justin had no interest for her, she just too… fresh.

            Penny smiled again and walked back to her friends – who were waiting a mile away, too afraid to be that close to the most gorgeous guy in school – and walked into a freshman classroom. 

            Justin chuckled as he read the note that used the pet name that Bridget had given him after seeing Breakfast at Tiffany’s for the first time.

            Justin Darling, (She wrote) meet me in the chemistry lab, as soon as you get this.

Love From,

Bridget xoxo

            Justin folded up the piece of paper back up and slipped it into his pants pocket and grabbed his chemistry book before shutting his locker door. As dirty thoughts filled his mind, he shoved the book in his bag and wove through the crowd of people, on his way to see his Holly Golightly.      

 

 

 

 

Chapter five: Sugar and spice and everything yummy.

            “Shush! He’s going to be here any second.” Bridget told the crowd of people who were hidden in the chem’ lab waiting for Justin to make his appearance. Bridget peeked through the door one last time before flicking off the lights and sprinting to the other end of the lab.

            The knob on the door twisted right and Bridget put her hand over Brooke’s mouth to keep her from giggling and giving away the surprise. Justin’s head cam through the door and then came the rest of his body.

            “Bridget?” He asked uncertainly switching the lights on.

            “HAPPY BIRTHDAY! “ The crowd shouted most popping out from the various working stations around the room.

            Justin steeped back, taken by surprise and then smiled at all his friends who had gathered there to surprise him. Bridget steeped up to Justin, draping her arms over his shoulders and giving him a hug.

            “Happy birthday.” She said kissing him very close to his lips. “You thought this was going to be something dirty, didn’t you?” She breathed into his ear and let go of his neck smiling.

 

May stood on her tippy toes, in her satin purple ballet flats, trying to peak into her next class. The teacher had yet to arrive and the doors to his classroom were still locked tight. 

She tied her long hair, which had no shape, back in a pony tail and sighed as she placed her heavy bag on the floor.  

May did not complete her homework last night, due to April, Bridget and Brooke’s festivities. She was too busy sitting down listening to them as they gossiped and drinking wine until her cheeks turned red. She didn’t get to stay up until three in the morning and slurp noodles out of the box, June – being more protective over her – had told her to go to bed an hour after midnight.

“Do you think he will ever come?” A beautiful girl with jet black hair asked May. She held just a hint of a British accent and her perfectly lined bright green eyes started into May’s dark blue one. They held a mischievous gleam, like she knew something that no one else.

May looked back at her, her eyes opening in surprise, as if she didn’t believe that the girl who looked liked a model was talking to her. “I don’t know.  I hope he comes soon, though.” She replied her answer shaky and quiet.

The girl smiled at May and set her black leather bag down. The uniform that all the students in the school were required to wear – for three days of the week – looked perfect on her. With the skirt just grazing her kneecaps and the blouse showing her rounded boobs, which May was lacking.

“Hello, May; Eboney,” A balding man wearing a blue dress shirt barked as he slipped past – with a bit of difficulty – the girls to unlock his classroom door. 

He had a brown tattered briefcase in his hand and a blue sports jacket resting on his beefy shoulder. Sweat marks were visible on his back and by his underarms. May wrinkled her nose in disgust and looked over quickly at Eboney to see if she had done the same, but she was already on her way into the classroom.

Three girls strutted into classroom and filed into seats around Eboney.  May took a seat up front and reached into her oversized red Dolce & Gabbana bag. As May took out her biology books Eboney stared at her, intrigued. As if sensing her staring May turned around to glance at Eboney and her face burned as she saw that Eboney was looking at her.

 

“Happy birthday, Justin!” London Sovine and Paris Vitale cried, each of them kissing one of his cheeks.  Justin blushed and rubbed lipstick stains off his left cheek where London had kissed him. The two beautiful girls smiled up at him, showing their perfect white teeth.

            London and Paris had been friends as far back as anyone could remember. Their dogs, Pom-Pom, Princess Poufy, Miu Miu, Sweet pea – all Paris’s – and Liberty and Lucy – London’s – were even best friends.  They would drop them over to each other’s house and have the doggie nanny look after them for the whole day while they were in school.

At one point and time they had looked exactly alike – except with different hair color - but after a very bad breakup, two years ago, London took out a pair of scissors and chopped a chunk out of her long brown hair.  When Paris asked if she should do the same London said,

“If you want.” Paris didn’t because she could not part with her long bleach blond hair. So when London went to get her hair styled into chic a chin length bob, Paris got a manicure.

Justin smiled at the two girl’s asses as they walked away. He turned to face Bridget who had returned with a slab of cake with green icing. She handed him the plate and he jabbed a piece of cake with his fork.

“I thought you would forget my birthday.” He said, a grin growing on his mouth that was now stuffed with cake.

“How could I possibly forget? Mine is August 12th and yours is a month and two days after it.” Bridget told him slicing off a piece of cake with the plastic fork and letting it melt in her mouth.

April, Brooke and Bree Reeves walked over to Justin and he grinned happily at the group of gorgeous girls who surrounded him. April gave Justin a hug, her boob’s pushing against his chest and then Brooke kissed his cheek.

Bree stepped up to him and smiled with her warm brown eyes. Her long black hair was back in a sleek ponytail and a dimple had formed on her Carmel colored skin near her cheek. She had an exotic air about her; having moved from Africa to Boston when she was ten She had started school late but had been sucked into the group on her first day there.

“Happy birthday!” She squeezed his neck and pulled away grinning broadly.  A honey scent was left in her wake as she walked back over to where the clutter of girls stood.

Justin scanned the room and found Cameron shoveling cake into his mouth while Drew looked disgusted.  Justin grinned and made his way over to the boys.

           

            “Isn’t she April Fisher’s younger sister?” Leigh Knowles whispered as she set her books on her desk. Her squinty brown eyes focused on the tiny blond in the front row, now turned to her sort-of friend Eboney Hayes.

            Eboney tore her gaze away and looked at Leigh, who wore too much make-up and had a pig snout instead of a nose. Her mother and Eboney’s mother had been friends when they went to school and still were in contact, so Eboney was forced to hang out with the snotty *** and her friends.

            “Where are her boobs’s then?” Charlotte Kelly asked her nasally voice sounding like the secretary on the PA. Leigh and Charlotte and the other girl, whose name had slipped Eboney’s mind, got into a fit of giggles.

            Eboney stared at her. “Where are yours?” She remarked. Charlotte was a lanky girl who’s family had tons of money so she thought she could say whatever she wanted about whoever and not get yelled at, but Eboney believed in different.

            Charlotte’s laughing stopped and her eyes fell into a glare. “Touchy, touchy. What is she your new friend or something?” Her voice came out more nasally – if that was possible – and she smirked. Probably thinking that Eboney would never dare to leave her and her “cool” friends.

            Eboney smirked back. She grabbed her books and Gucci bag and walked up the row of desks. She sat in a seat that was unoccupied behind May and turned around to see the looks of pure confusion on the three snotty girl’s faces. Her glossed lips turned upwards into a smile and she sat down sighing, happy to be rid of those bitches, like any normal person would be.

 

            Paris squealed as a champagne cork flew from the bottle and some of the contents spilled on the floor. Brooke doubled over laughing and held out her glass to be filled up again. Justin laughed and drank from the bottle before filling Brooke’s glass back up for her.  He held the bottle out to Turin Walsch, who shook his head and laid his glass on the counter top.

            “I’ve had enough.” Turin said his Indian accent barely noticeable from living in Boston for ten years now. Turin was the most gorgeous guy ever – next to Justin, of course. His skin, a deep coffee color and his eyes like melting chocolate, his body is slightly buff, but not so much that he looks macho and he is so sweet that you just would want to eat him.

            “Dude, have one more.” Daniel Hagelin told Turin, just downing his third glass. Turin shook his head and put his brown bag on his shoulder.  He turned to find Nicholas Harris who stood by Bree, laughing and drinking his champagne from the flute glasses that Bridget had supplied for them.

            Nick was almost as a big of a flirt as Drew, but not quite. It was more teasing then flirting. He was always talking to some girl, or pulling on her hair. The guy was always surrounded by girls. Most people would think of him as lucky, but his group of male friends pitted him for having to put with all the girly things.

            Nick pushed his glasses up further on his nose and said something to make Bree laugh and almost spill her champagne, which made her giggle even harder. His brown eyes looked happy and pleasant under his lighter brown hair; it was probably because of the buzz that was slowing showing on him.

            Daniel walked up to the flirting session and filled both glasses up again. He shook his straw colored hair – to get it out of his eyes – and gazed around the room with his green eyes, looking for a certain someone with double D breasts.  When he found her his eyes lit up and he called her name, causing her to turn around and spill some of her champagne.  Daniel walked toward her, his red lips smiling wide.

            “Excuse me. What is going on here?” A tall man with honey colored hair asked closing the lab door behind him. He pushed his glasses up on the bridge of his nose and set his coffee mug down on his desk. He turned to the group of students and crossed his arms.

            The people who were not in his class scurried out the door, leaving Justin, Bridget, Bree, Brooke and Daniel behind to deal with the mess of things. More students came into the lab and smirked at the sight of the privileged teens in trouble.

            “I suggest you clean up this mess before I have to call down the new principal. What a way to meet him. His first day here and he would have to give detention to students.” Mr. Dunne said sliding out his desk chair and plopping down in it.

            A laugh came from the back of the class, but no one dared speak. Mr. Dunne hated the over-privileged teens at the school more than anything. Most people said it was because the love of his life dumped him for someone with more money them, which was believable, he was only a teacher.

The five of them filed out of the classroom and walked down the hall, talking about the *** that they had to call Sir.  A giggle escaped Brooke’s lips before she made it down the stairs and Bridget had to push her down the next steps before Mr. Dunne could hear here and tell them off again. He would never punish them though, he just said as a way to get his anger out.

There was no punishing at the school. All the students came from wealthy families and punishing them was like punishing royalty. There could be expulsion, if you embarrassed the school in anyway, but no detentions. All the seniors learned this in their second year there, but the freshmen had to yet to figure it out.

            “He’s hated me since freshman year.” Daniel told them, walking down the centre stairwell. He tightened the tie around his neck and bounced down the next few steps, the rest of them following him.

            Bree turned to all of them once they were on the second landing and said, “Someone seriously needs to take that stick out of his butt before I have to do it myself.”

            Laughter rang through the halls and Bridget and Brooke doubled over laughing. Bree giggled and nearly toppled down the next steps. Daniel grabbed her grinning and Justin chuckled at Bree’s drunkenness and thoughts on Mr. Dunne

Chapter six:  Daddy Walker OR The Walker estate

            Yellow, orange and red leaves waltzed in the wind as they were carried over the glittering frost covered roofs of the beautiful, old houses. Red hair flew in different directions as Brooke shivered in the extremely cold September Boston air. She used the sleeve of her Dior coat to close the door to April’s black bmw and stepped on the colorful leaves that lay on her driveway. They made a crunching noise, like someone crinkling a newspaper, every time she stepped on one with her black Prada shoes.

            Brooke opened her heavy front door to her red European style house. Her grand house was located on a street with only two other houses, both smaller then her own, but relatively the same size.

The house was the most spectacular thing to live in. A hint of antique with modern day.  The beautifully structured house contained three living rooms. One with a grand piano and antique chairs; another with a plasma screen TV; a stereo station that could blow your mind and ear drums; a wet bar and a fridge stacked with alcoholic drinks and things to mix with them and one with a comfy chairs; a smaller TV and a window in the roof to let sun pour in.

“I’m home!” Brooke called dropping her buttery leather Miu Miu  bag and Channel purse on the marble floor. She kicked off her five hundred dollar heels and walked into her kitchen. Ten cooks buzzed around the kitchen tending to bubbling pots and sizzling frying pans. 

The kitchen was big enough to fit one hundred and fifty people in and still have room to move around and socialize. A restaurant stove stood against a wall with three people standing around it making sure the food was not boiled dry or too crispy.  Vegetables of all sorts where being hauled out of one of the stainless steel fridges and then placed onto the butchers-block table that was next to the island in the middle of the kitchen.

A Spanish woman with graying hair appeared in from the other side of the kitchen, where the long dining room table – seating ten people – was already set.

Brooke shot a quizzical look at all the cooks and called out to the older lady. “Loretta! Why is the table set already?” She walked past the oldest and fattest looking cook who wore a big white chefs hat and in through the French doors that led to the dining room.

The woman looked up from the wine cabinet and smiled at Brooke. “Your daddy having guests for dinner.” Her heavy Spanish accent made it almost impossible to understand but Brooke had perfected Spanish when she was ten.

“Oh,” Brooke said as she held out her arms for Loretta to take off her expensive purple coat.  Loretta held the coat in her hand and used the other to smooth out Brooke’s modern, long shag  hair.  She walked out of the dining room and into the foyer to hang up Brooke’s coat with all her coats of designer names.

Brooke huffed and walked up the wide center staircase that led to the third floor of her house. A crash came from the kitchen but she ignored it and continued up the cherry wood steps that led to the floor with her room.

  
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Fandorin  #576396  Tue, 14 Oct 08 09:23 PM
Hi there. Welcome to EnglishForums. I hope you would enjoy it. Smile Your novel looks great. Have you checked it? I suppose you had better do it and if you have any diffucult with separate sentences, we will help you with a pleasure.
  
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