Need Your Helps about a Traning Program..

Any1 can help me about this letter pls?

Thanks a lot for kind reply... While i m beginnig to write this post i was not sure that what i m going to write. So i thought other people may do that for me :D thats why i did not put any draft here... But i think it will be so egoistly. :D so i put the draft which i m thinking to send to the company... Anyway all helps are appriciated by my heart... Please fell free to make a comment and correction :D

Dear Employer;

Besides these, I ve to point this, i always love and enjoyed to work in tourism  and wanted have a carrier in tourism sector so that i reason i shaped my life and i got my education on that way.Also had chance to work in most of the best hospitalty companies which are international ones.Working and traning in those companies let me to see the international companies hotel and management systems and their visions and also i experienced working with the people from other countries.So i believed that this experience let met o improve my English and my vision through the other culture and people.Therefore, that was a great experience for me and that great experience enhanced my self-confidence. 

Sincerely,

***

Hi,

I think you need to attach a copy of your resume to this letter.

A lot of what you have written here seems to me to be very general in nature, and certainly quite repetitive.. Can you replace some of the general stuff with more specific examples/details?

In addition, do you perhaps need to say what benefit you will bring to the company if they give you this position?

Best wishes, Clive

Dear Employer;

            I am writing to apply for a position in your business as a tourism intern.

I am from Turkey and I  graduated fromthe Ankara Anatolian Hotel and Tourism Vocational High School, which is one of the best such institutions in Turkey. I began ana degree in Tourism and Hospitalty Management in Balıkesir University, but in the third year I postpone my education for a time in order to gain more practical experience in business. I felt  that this would help me in my later university education. While I was working in the tourism sector, I realised that the 8 years ' theoretical knowledge which I had already gained was sufficient, and that I still needed to get more practical experience.

I am able to work in the USA on a J1 or Q visa for 12 months as a tourism intern, on a paid basis. I have all legal documents and a social security number through the sponsorship of Ozman International Education Services, recognised by The State Department of the USA Government. I can be available within a month, as soon as I am admitted to the job position.

I consider this is a great opportunity for me to gain an international, professional and wonderful experience in American business life,  and also to benefit from a cultural exchange. During my education, I was able to acquire general ideas about management and business life.  Furthermore, other  internships have enhanced my professional knowledge. (How many internships can you expect to be given?) They have improved my skills  in problem solving and human relations. They have also enabled me to broaden my perspectives and develop my existing skills, because I had the opportunity to meet and interact with various people and observe different business environments..

I have always loved working  in tourism and want to have a career in the tourism sector. I have also had the opportunity to work in most of the best international hospitalty companies and to see their hotel and management systems sas well as their visions. I also experienced working with people from other countries. I think you should give details of all this. 

I am very enthusiastic and ambitious, I will be an efficient member of your team, provided you decide to employ me. I would be happy to receive a call for an interview.  

Sincerely,

***

Hi,

Dear Employer;

            I am writing to apply for a position in your business as a tourism intern.

I am from Turkey and I  graduated from the Ankara Anatolian Hotel and Tourism Vocational High School, which is one of the best such institutions in Turkey. I began a degree in Tourism and Hospitalty Management in Balıkesir University, but in the third year I postponed my education for a time in order to gain more practical experience in business. I felt  that this would help me in my later university education. While I was working in the tourism sector, I realised that the 8 years of theoretical knowledge which I had already gained was sufficient, and that I still needed to get more practical experience. I especially want to work in other countries to learn about their tourism systems and visions.

I am currently working in the C-K Farabi Hotel, Ankara, as a Reception Clerk. I believe that I have the skills and qualities that you are looking for. I am outgoing and open-minded, with experience of relating to customers with hospitality, patience, respect and consideration. My current position as Front Desk Clerk requires initiative and self-confidence, as well as the ability to communicate effectively with people at all levels. In addition to having  these particular qualities, I am a reliable and hardworking person who is always willing to learn more, and I fully commit to the tasks I am given. I love working in a team. This is a very important point for me, because I strongly believe that a good team is the key to success for any business. I have to indicate this once more. I am a very successful team player, which is a crucial point, especially in hospitality.

I consider this is a great opportunity for me to gain an international, professional and wonderful experience in American business life,  and also to benefit from a cultural exchange. During my education, I was able to acquire general ideas about management and business life.  Furthermore, other  internships and my business experiences have enhanced my professional knowledge.They have improved my skills  in problem solving and human relations. They have also enabled me to broaden my perspectives and develop my existing skills, because I had the opportunity to meet and interact with various people and observe different business environments..

I am able to work in the USA on a J1 or Q visa for 12 months as a tourism intern, on a paid basis. I have all the necessary legal documents and a social security number through the sponsorship of Ozman International Education Services, recognised by The State Department of the US government. I can be available within a month, as soon as I am accepted in the job position.

I am very enthusiastic and ambitious. I will be an efficient member of your team, if you decide to employ me. I m enclosing my resume, and I would be happy and grateful to receive a call for an interview. 

Best wishes and good luck with this, Clive