Hi.

In view of the "but" phrase in the first paragraph, I'd be inclined to say, "I thought he might be upset by*** etc."  (optional)

I'd delete "that" after "suggested."

I don't think you "keep absent."  I'd suggest "but he seemed quiet and absent," OR  "but he kept quiet and seemed absent."

comma splice after "I loved him."  Use two sentences, or a conjunction, or some other device.

Some would discourage the semicolon after "behavior," but it's okay by me.

Not sure I'd use a comma in "I love you, too."  You use so few commas, it seems out of place, or out of style.

Probably a dash after "as if I had lost him."  Most likely the sentence as is would be considered ungrammatical.

I think "absent" is rare.  I wouldn't use it twice in such a short span.

In your last paragraph, the first sentence is too bloody long.  Well, maybe not too long. It expresses a series of three or four different actions (or thoughts) taking place over a period of time.  Let the reader catch his breath.

You have three "I decided's" in the last paragraph   -   a little monotonous.

Also, I'd suggest beginning a new paragraph with the second "I decided."

Running the "but he had fallen asleep" into the previous sentence spoils the drama.  You need some kind of a break or bridge between.


English is your native language, Right?     Good stuff!  The diary thing shows that your really do have a sense of drama   -   and irony.    - A.

*** Edit.  I'm not sure what to advise here.  "At" would go with the adjective and "by" would go with the passive verb.  It depends how you look at it.  I guess that means you may use either "at" or "by."