How to enter into business relationship with a buyer directly

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Guest:
I am a manufacturer of Fireplace and have maintained a very good relationship with a buyer located in USA for more than 3years. But, all the businesses have been concluded with 2 brokers in-between. Now I want to do business with the buyer directly because I am suffering a lot from those brokers. I am going to send a formal letter to my buyer recently although I know it may cause some bad results. I am not sure if the following letter is clear and good enough to express my thinking. Thanks in advance for your help.

Dear Sir,
Allow us to take this opportunity to express our heartfelt thanks for your kind cooperation over past years. We treasure the mutually satisfying relationship immensely and appreciate all your support for so long time that is really meant so much to us.
As you known, all our goods have been exported through 2 trading companies. During the cooperation with these two companies, we found many problems that seriously discourage us and embarrass our business expansion, such as payment delay and absence of technical knowledge. Although we complaint and discussed with them many times, there is no way to be found by now. We finally decided to give up doing business with them any more. Another factory producing wooden frames will do the same either.
This situation forced us to do some adjustments on our marketing strategy. Our new strategy is to develop the market, contact the customers and maintain the business relationship with buyers by ourselves but not those brokers. Furthermore, with the full analysis of this market, we are positioning ourselves to become one of the major OEM players in the hearth and home industry.
In order to achieve this marketing strategy, we intentionally made up a professional sales team comprised of experienced business members. With this team, you will enjoy all the value-added services that the brokers may provide. Meanwhile, in-time market information and dynamic technology exchange may lead to more mutual benefits.
By the way, this new marketing strategy has already been successfully introduced to our another product---Perforating Case. We will sell this product by ourselves to the buyers in the states next year.
I do hope we could continue our mutually satisfying relationship.
Your deep consideration and prompt reply will be appreciated.
Best Regards
Kevin
Dear Guest,

I changed the emphasis of your letter slightly. I didn't want to bother explaining the pitfalls of the broker relationship. I am sure that they have not been happy either. Besides, nobody really wants to read about the negative stuff, just tell me how things will improve. I am sure that they will read between the lines.

I also have you being more assertive at the end. You are giving them an opportunity to respond, but if they don't, you will call them. This is an indication of the new relationship. I want action/information, I want it accurate, and I want it now. This is an example of what you can expect from us in the future--an enhanced attention to detail.

I hope this meets your needs, and if not, then please post back.

MountainHiker

Dear Mr. John Doe: (get the person's name and be sure to use a colon for business writing)

The purpose of this letter is to outline a strategy for strengthening our business relationship.

Our company (use your Company's name) wants to deal with you directly instead of working through various intermediaries. By working with you directly, you will have better access to technical information and we will have quicker response times for financial transactions. With stronger customer relationships in place, we believe that we are better positioned to become one of the major OEM players in the hearth and home industry.

In support of our goal of becoming a major OEM player, we have create a talented, motivated, and experienced sales team. We believe this sales team will exceed the level of performance you previously enjoyed from the brokers. Moroever, with just-in-time market information and dynamic technology exchanges, we expect more and better future mutual benefits.

We have already used this increased customer focus strategy in another product Peforating Cases with tremendous success. We will sell Peforating Cases directly to the buyers in the States next year.

Your business and relationship is very important to us. We believe that our enhanced customer focused strategy is beneficial to you. Should you have any questions or concerns, please feel free to contact me direct at ***-***-***. Otherwise, please respond promptly that our new direct relationship is acceptable to you. If I have not heard from you within one week, I will contact you directly.

Best regards,
Kevin
Senior Member2,528
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Dear MountainHiker,

Thanks a lot for your reply.

I think you are right and we have to change the emphasis slightly. Combined with your suggestion, I finally sent the customer a formal letter as follows. And will let you know how things will improve later on.

Dear Mr.Scott Smilen:

Allow us to take this opportunity to express our heartfelt thanks for the kind cooperation you extended to us over past years. We appreciate all your supports for so long time that is really meant so much to us.

The purpose of this letter is to outline our new business strategy which has been recently determined by the management of the company. The theme of this strategy is that, instead of passively waiting for the orders from traders/brokers, we will carry out the entire marketing activities and customer services by ourselves, in order to further strengthen the customer relationships, enlarge the market shares as well as company profit. Under this new policy, from next year we will suspend all the communications with various intermediaries and start to develop the business relationship with the buyers directly.

We fully understand that, due to this change, growing pains may occur during this first or second year, but nothing can prevent us from the innovation and we will preserve in this new strategy forever, with a goal of continuously development of the company. We even believe that, with this new business strategy in place, we will be more competitive in the market, better positioned to serve all our customers, and have a chance to become one of the major OEM players in the hearth and home industry.

In support of this new strategy, we have already set-up a talented, motivated and experienced sales team who is familiar with all international business practices, especially American practices very well. We do believe this sales team will exceed the level of performance the customers previously enjoyed from the traders/brokers. Moreover, with just-in-time market information and dynamic technology exchanges, flexible payment terms and value-added services, we could expect more and better mutual benefits with the customers in the future.

Being a most honored and treasured customer for us, we sincerely wish we could establish business relationship with your esteemed organization directly. And we do believe our above-mentioned customer focused strategy will create a long-term mutual beneficial cooperation between us.

We are looking forward for your favorable consideration on this matter. Should you have any questions and/or concerns, please feel free to contact me directly. I will contact you in one-week time as a follow-up to this letter.

Yours Sincerely,
Kevin
New Member01
Kevin

This letter reads much better than your original letter. I really like you opening. It is very strong and positive.

I know this letter has already been sent out. So following small changes might be too late. They really are minor edits. So please don't worry if your letters are already sent.
We appreciate all your supports for so long time that is really meant so much to us.


We are deeply appreciative of all your support during our business relationship. [It has meant so much to us.]

"Support" should be singular in your and my sentences. I have tried to capture the essence of your sentence with my replacement. You can include the bracketed portion or you can exclude it. I would be inclined to exclude it. Given a choice between more or less words to convey the same meaning, I usually choose less. I always picture the reader as a busy person. How can I get my message across efficiently?

Under this new policy, from next year we will suspend all the communications with various intermediaries and start to develop the business relationship with the buyers directly.


changed "from next year"

Under this new policy, after next year (or preferably provide a specific date) we will suspend all the communications with various intermediaries and start to develop the business relationship with the buyers directly.

In support of this new strategy, we have already set-up a talented, motivated and experienced sales team who is familiar with all international business practices, especially American practices very well.


Should be changed to...I changed "who" to "that". It is a very minor point.

In support of this new strategy, we have already set-up a talented, motivated and experienced sales team that is familiar with all international business practices, especially American practices very well.

We fully understand that, due to this change, growing pains may occur during this first or second year, but nothing can prevent us from the innovation and we will preserve with this new strategy forever, with a goal of continuously development of the company.


slight edits...I think you have intended "persevere"?

We fully understand that, due to this change, growing pains may occur during this first or second year, but nothing can prevent us from the innovation and we will persevere with this new strategy, with a goal of continuously development of the company.
Moreover, with just-in-time market information and dynamic technology exchanges, flexible payment terms and value-added services, we could expect more and better mutual benefits with the customers in the future.


I would just eliminate "could" from the "we could expect". You DO EXPECT more and better benefits.

Being a most honored and treasured customer for us, we sincerely wish we could establish business relationship with your esteemed organization directly.


Being a most honored and treasured customer for us, we want (or we would like) to establish a business relationship with your esteemed (I would tend to leave out the flowery "esteemed" adjectives) organization directly.

I tend to be a bit more direct in my letters. Businesses want to create value. As long as what you are proposing is going to enhance value, you will have their attention. Less words is generally better than more. That said, they will recognize your letter is coming from you who lives in a different culture. It is always appreciated to see that flavor in the letter. So it is a judgement call.
Should you have any questions and/or concerns, please feel free to contact me directly.


When writing a formal letter-which this is-I avoid slashes as in and/or. Instead, "questions or concerns" is better. Obviously he might have both questions and concerns, but this format is still preferred. "And/or" has an element of laziness to it. It is shorthand or an abbreviated form. Your letter is a formal letter, so I would be inclined to follow that same theme throughout.

Overall, your letter reads well, and it is very positive and upbeat. I like it.

Although I have pointed out a few edits, they are all minor. Your businesses partners will be very appreciative with your letter and your efforts.

I am sure you will have tremendous success with this letter. And yes, please do let us know how you do.

MountainHiker
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Anonymous:
Thank you for yur very help full letters .
Would you pleas help me with tour company introduction letter , I write as below.
Re: Introductory Letter to Establish Business Relation ship
We would like to extend to each and every one of you our warmest greetings and best wishes. The purpose of this letter is to introduce our Company” xxxxxxTour and Travel” Which has been a leader in the field of Tourism since 2004.Our Company has more than Seven year of experience as Tour Operator based in xxxxxx, We have catered to several Outbound Tour Operators, Tourists and Hotels in the past and have had a good working relations with all of them with no complaints from our clients. We, therefore wish to establish a business relationship with your esteemed company with the hope of promoting our country as a tourist destination and realizing of mutual benefit for our companies on the best suits of customers’ requirements. Here below enlists some of the different services that you can make use of in cause you decided to do business with us.
some of Our services are :-
Tours Reservations
  • Package and tailor made tours; .All type new model Car rentals.
  • Historic, culture and Nature tours;
  • National Parks and trekking tours, .Hotel reservations
. Air ticket bookings
  • Bird watching and Safari trips;
  • Adventure tours;
  • City and Excursion tours;
  • Agriculture , Coffee plantations tours;
  • Archeological tours;
  • Pilgrimage tours and more…
Hence with the above products we are ready to serve your clients. We trust you will give us the opportunity to prove our efficiency and we look forward to accept your request with in short time. We would like to thank you for the time that you have taken to go through this letter. Please feel free to contact us at our address given in cause you need to utilize any of the service that our company provides.
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