Hello Everybody,
Im a saleperson and i would like your feedback and comments on how i can imporove my below email approach to new clients. This would be my first point of contact with them and hence i would need to grab there attention and interests.
Please help me out here thanks a lot!
I work in a very professional environment and need to improve my emails and writting skills. Any help is greatly appreciated.
Option 1
Dear Sirs,
I hope this email finds you well.
Brief Introduction of our company,
xxxx is a dynamic, modern and internationally business with a 200 year old tradition.
We are listed on the stock exchange.
Our production and headoffice is located in xx/xx.
We have xxx sales operations in xxx countries and have a strong presence in Europe, Asia and the Middle East.
We are the market leaders in xx.
xxxx works together with its partners (xxx) to furnish and create all areas of the office.
Services provided:
Space planning & layout, project management, installation and after sales service
Our price range is middle to high depending on the furniture specification and project scope/size.
Thank you so much for your time and I look forward to hearing from you soon. Please feel free to contact me in order to arrange for a meeting.
Please view our website to see our furniture and download our brochures:
Thanking you in advance
Regards
xx
Option 2
Dear Sirs,
I trust you are well.
Our approach is based on what is outlined below.
xxxx – with more than xxx years experience and as an international player – perceives offices as vital spaces and we develop innovative solutions together with our clients. Please visit www.xxx.com
Our approach is to analyse the three factors for success:
Efficiency – relating to the investment and operating costs through adaptable offices.
Effectiveness – linking to the impact that office design has on people’s behaviour and motivation.
Expression – looking at how the company’s identity is communicated via offices and buildings.
I would like to thank you for your time and would be plpeased to arrnage a meeting in person so we can discuss our approach and how xx can save your company time and money inn projects.
Kind regards
xx