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This is a discussion thread.
Latest post Wed, Oct 13 2004 6:32 AM by rahul_mcsd. 4 replies.
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rahul_mcsd
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50188
Wed, 13 Oct 04 06:32 AM
Friends.
I will really appreciate any practical tips on this. I am a 'softie' by heart and find it very difficult to say 'No' even to my subordinates.
Joined on
Sat, Jul 3 2004
Indore, India
Junior Member
68
An eye for an eye makes the whole world blind.
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David
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Wed, 13 Oct 04 09:43 AM
I'm afraid you had better learn soon that if you don't learn how to say no when needed your life will become a misery. You will also be treated with more respect especially if you are being fair.
Joined on
Sat, Mar 8 2003
Regular Member
664
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Elena
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Fri, 15 Oct 04 09:57 AM
Hi Rahul_mcsd,
there is a book, When I say 'no' I feel guilty: How to cope--using the skills of systematic assertive therapy, by Manuel J. Smith. It is quite old, the first edition was in 1975, but it has a lot of examples, ideas and tools to solve that problem.
Joined on
Thu, Jul 31 2003
Regular Member
827
Enjoying my English study
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edwy
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Fri, 15 Oct 04 11:35 AM
Doesn't this depend on what the question is? There's an old joke about the woman who spoke 20 languages and couldn't say No in any of them, so I think we can guess what the question was in her case!
However, if the question is "Can I help you?", saying Yes would often be the more helpful answer. I suppose that you are most concerned about taking on more work than you really want to do - you would like some time for yourself but you feel obliged to help everyone who asks you. I have a similar problem in my professional life as a proofreader for international students, so I sympathise with your dilemma! My answer was to find other people to whom I could delegate the extra work, in return for a reasonable commission of course!
One solution is to play one requestor off against another - by saying "I'm sorry, but I'm already busy helping somebody else". In many cases this will be true, but nobody will blame you if occasionally you invent an imaginary friend who can be used for this purpose!
Good luck!
Edwy
Joined on
Wed, Oct 13 2004
Leicestershire, UK
New Member
27
Proofreader and indexer, native English speaker
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asdf_user,
4 yr 325 days ago
"n" + "o" you just got to say it
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