I die a thousand deaths.

Hello BMO

This is a compact way of saying 'I am subject to a large
number of unpleasant experiences, each of which is as bad as
dying'.

It usually applies to mental phenomena, e.g. the thoughts that
precede an occasion that is going to be extremely painful.

It's quite a melodramatic phrase, and would usually only be found
in a highly rhetorical context.

MrP