I turn polar bears white

For the last part about 'look at me and you'll pop'...on New Years people all over the world look at the time, and they POP the corks of champagne bottles. There is a reference to champagne in the riddle also. I think the best answer for this is time, although I am having difficulty associating it with the other hints. I do have a feeling that each HINT is associated with another hint somehow.

First of all, I'd like to state that a lot of you are morons.
I'm sorry if this offends any of you, but you should really READ EVERYTHING before you post a reply.

YES it has been pointed out a MILLION TIMES that kids can't come up with things like pressure, or atmospheric compounds.
It MUST be a simple answer if 84% of kindergarten children can guess the answer within 6 minutes (and yes, I know that the statistics could quite possibly be made up for the purpose of the riddle)
Think for a minute. Kindergarten children are generally aged 4-6 years old. They've only just started learning.

Sorry, I know this will disappoint a lot of you, but the answer isn't QUANTUM BIOMECHANICAL PARADIMETHYLAMINOBENZALDEHYDE PRESSURISATION.
Just think. If kindergarten kids can answer it, then it isn't that hard. But I still get the feeling someone will post after me with another new stroke of genius that yet again seems like way too complex of an answer for a young child to come up with.

Personally, I think the more probable answer is a negative reply, such as "No"

I know that when I was in kindergarten, it was hard enough to colour in between the lines, nevermind staying concentrated for long enough to figure out a riddle.

DUH! Its Chuck Norris.

I turn polar bears white- Polar bears are white to hide from Chuck Norris in the snow(in vain)
and I will make you cry.-Self-explanitory
I make guys have to pee- They pee themselves because they're so excited about Chuck Norris
and girls comb their hair.- They want to look good for Chuck Norris
I make celebrities look stupid- Everyone looks stupid next to Chuck Norris
and normal people look like celebrities.- As he makes celebrities look stupid, he makes regular people look stupid too, just like celebrities.
I turn pancakes brown- They'll turn brown if they know what's good for them...
and make your champane bubble.- Chuck Norris invented carbonation.
If you squeeze me, I'll pop.- you in the face
If you look at me, you'll pop.- Another self-explanitory answer.
Can you guess the riddle?



.

The answer is chuck norris.

The polar bear is white, because it is always scared of chuck norris.
The mere thought of chuck norris makes any human cry.
The thought of chuck norris makes any man *** their pants.
After rough sex chuck norris makes girls hair so messy they must comb it.
Chuck Norris makes every celebrity look stupid because no one compares to Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris makes everyone look like celebrities because everyone not killed by chuck norris is a celebrity.
Chuck Norris causes pancakes to look brown because pancakes *** their pants in the sight of chuck norris, wouldn't you?
Chuck Norris does not need a straw to blow champagne bubbles... obviously.
If you squeeze chuck norris, he will pop..... you in the head with a roundhouse kick.
If you look at chuck norris, you will pop. No human eyes have been set upon Chuck Norris. without the use of a television.

For the record, chuck norris answered this question in under 5 seconds, and he is in harvord and kindergarden at the same time.