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Latest post Thu, Sep 11 2008 1:13 PM by Anonymous. 3 replies.
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Anonymous  +  417369 Wed, 12 Sep 07 04:30 AM

I was very happy when I found this web site. I been having grammer, and essay problems for many years(4years). First year of my college I had to take developmental writing course, I was okay with it because I knew how bad I was. When I retook the test, I failed it again, and I haven't been to school since then. I really want to go back to school, but before going back, I would like to write many essays on this website to write more effectivly. Please help this poor guy!! Please when you fix my grammers, or essay please explain in detail if you can so I could fix it. If you have any other advises on me please tell me!! Thank You so much!!

I wrote an essay about stresses or peer pressure.

Peer Pressures – peer pressures can be defined as stresses.

  

Stresses

 

             Peer pressures can be defined as stresses. Many of teachers and parents would tell their children or students that they’re young, and they shouldn’t be effect by stresses. Despite what adults say, teens do get stresses. Many of teens are facing stresses due to school, parents, and drugs.

 

             Firstly, teens are facing stresses from school. Some of teens are night people which mean that they have hard time getting up early in the morning. They need to setup their alarm Clark to get ready for the school. As school progress, they are due with homework, and study for the tests. When the test day is reached they need to study extra hours to prepare for the test. After stressing out from the school, they need to face their parents.

 

             Secondly, teen are facing stresses from parents. Parents are always limiting their children from freedom. They can’t play video games, hanging around with friends, and watching TV. Parents are expecting their children to do house jobs, like cleaning dishes, vacuuming the house, and watch their little brothers and or sisters. Parents are always pushing their child to the edge by saying you didn’t put effort into your homework, or test, and so on. Teens should be more stressful facing their parents, which means that they could place their hands on drugs to show resistance from their parents.

 

             Finally, many teens are using drugs to rebel from the adults, and free from stresses. Mainly, drugs are delivered by friends to force them to use it, or else they would be left alone. Cigarettes are easiest drug that they could get their hands on. They use it to feel freedom, release stresses. In teen’s point of view, alcohols can be an escape pod from the world. They already know that alcohols can ruin their lives, but our environment is pushing them and leading them to drink alcohols.

 

             When I was a teen, my parents didn’t put too much weight on my shoulders. But many of my friends went different way because of stresses or peer pressures. Adults and our environment shouldn’t put too much weight on their shoulders to lead them to the wrong way.

julielai  +  417383 Wed, 12 Sep 07 05:29 AM

Peer pressure and stress aren't the same thing. Here is a definition from Wikipedia:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Peer_pressure

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nona the brit  +  417455 Wed, 12 Sep 07 08:44 AM

Only one paragraph relates to peer pressure; the one discussing teenagers being encouraged to smoke and drink by their friends.

The rest of the essay isn't about peer pressure.

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Anonymous, 1 yr 57 days ago
Hi. You should improve on your vocabulary and grammar. For example, it's "affected" not "effect". If you want to attempt this kind of one-word essay, you should plan on what you want to write first. Best is to do a mindmap. Brainstorm everything related to stress/pressure and start a narrative story from it. It would be much more interesting and easy to attempt. (: But overall it's quite a good job done. Well done! :D
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