Is this the way an e-mail should look like?! a formal one

This is a discussion thread · 3 replies
Anonymous:
Dear Ms *** ,My name is Lora *** . I was born on *** in . I am applying for the Undergraduate Bachelor Program in Intercultural Business Administration at the for the 2009 fall term. With this e-mail I would like to inform you that I have already sent the required documents by a courier firm. I sent them on 20. 02. 2009 and I expect them to arrive at the destination on 23. 03. 2009. For certainty I am sending you as attached files another set of the required documents in electronic format as “.jpg” and as “.pdf” files.I hope everything to be alright with them. If you have noticed something wrong or missing, or you have questions, please I would be very obliged if you contact me the way you prefer. I also will be very relieved if you let me know if the documents, sent by courier, have reached their destination and are alright. With them I apply both for the Undergraduate Program and for a scholarship.I would also like to express with this e-mail my strong wish for the interview date to be on 11. 03. 2009 if of course it is possible.Thank you for your time and consideration. I am looking forward to your reply.Yours faithfully,

Lora ***

Address

Tel.

.

- So is this OK for a formal e-mail? I've never ever before written - please if you find any kind of mistakes, anything that bothers you - please tell me and help me correct it - it is very important for me to do it right...

And I'm sorry for the stars, I just try to control my personal info on the net.

Thank you, Lora
Anonymous:
VERY NICELY WRITTEN !!!!!!
Anonymous:
thank you - so you think it is correct?
Hi,
My main comment is that you need to write in paragraphs, like this. I've also made a number of other changes for you to consider.

Clive

Dear Ms *** ,

My name is Lora *** . I was born on *** in Sofia, Bulgaria. Your name goes at the end. Where you were born seems irrelevant here.

I have recently applied for the Undergraduate Bachelor Program in Intercultural Business Administration at Lauder Business School, and for a scholarship, for the 2009 fall term. With this e-mail I would like to inform you that I sent the required documents by a courier firm on 20. 02. 2009 and I expect them to arrive at the destination on 23. 03. 2009.

For safety's sake, I am sending you as attached files another set of the required documents, in electronic format as “.jpg” and as “.pdf” files.

I hope that everything is in order with my application. If not, or if you have questions, I would be very obliged if you would contact me in the way you prefer. I would also be very relieved if you could confirm to me that my application sent by courier has been received.

I would also like to express via this e-mail my strong wish for the interview date to be on 11. 03. 2009, if that is possible.

Thank you for your time and consideration. I am looking forward to your reply.

Yours sincerely,
Lora ***

Address

Tel.

Mobile.
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