Yoong Liat“ 'A friend of mine' means ' One of my friends' whereas 'My friend' refers to a specific friend.”
Hi YL. I've tried to keep an open mind on this. My university's motto is "Truth, even unto it's innermost parts," but this is a real challenge. (I thought Harvard's was more elegant - "Veritas.")
At first I wondered, what can he possibly be thinking about? But I'm more rested now and I can appreciate the difference. I must say, in my view this is
extremely theoretical and of no possible practical use.
The destinction can exist only in the mind of the speaker, and as I said before, would only be useful to suggest to the reader/listener a possible difference in the level of intimacy. When someone says, "My friend and I went to dinner last night," it's highly likely that the speaker is actually picturing the face of the friend while he speaks and could readily give us his name. (My youngest daughter uses this form to imply it's none of my damned business who she goes to dinner with.)
When "a friend of mine" is used to begin a narrative, the level of intimacy is only slightly above "an acquaintance of mine," as I said before. It's entirely possible that the speaker may not even recall the identity of the so-called 'friend,' as he may be referring to an event that happened thirty years ago. So I absolutely agree that "
my friend refers to a
specific friend," while
a friend of mine may not.
However, you can ratchet up the level of intimacy of this one by adding a name - but not by much. In the 1988 vice presidential debates, Dan Quayle evoked the youth of Jack Kennedy (opposite party). His opponent, Lloyd Bentsen, was irate, and famously said, "I knew Jack Kennedy. Jack Kennedy was a friend of mine. You're no Jack Kennedy!" (They were senators together.) Somehow I never took it to mean they were
good friends.
That leaves us with "one of my friends," which in my opinion is taken to imply a higher level of friendship than "a friend of mine," but does not approach the level of friendship of "my friend."
So my position is that the distinctions between the three expressions is useful in indicating the level of friendship, as found in common usage; but not very useful in indicating the specificity of the person referred to, except to allow that the speaker may not recall his exact identity. (Is that possibly what you had in mind, Yoong Liat??)
- A.