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OrcaDeen  #496593  Fri, 04 Apr 08 05:13 PM
Hi again:

I hope you answer this little puzzle

is the following sentence correct grammatically and linguisticly and is there any other mistakes?

please, comment on the use of the relative pronoun" of which"

 

 Copious unsigned complaints, I knew, were lodged against him at the Country Council, the establishment of which was accompanied by the proliferation of such anonymously penned complaints.

thank you

 

  
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Clive  #496640  Fri, 04 Apr 08 09:44 PM

Hi,

Copious unsigned complaints, I knew, were lodged against him at the Country Council, the establishment of which was accompanied by the proliferation of such anonymously-penned complaints.

In terms of grammar, this seems acceptable.  I've added a hyphen after 'anonymously'.

Now, let's consider the meaning. I find it hard to grasp without more context. Here are a few comments.

What's a 'Country Council'?

The 'of which' refers to the Council.

Are the complaints mentioned at the start of the sentence the same as those mentioned at the end? The double mention is confusing.

Best wishes, Clive

  
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OrcaDeen  #496910  Sat, 05 Apr 08 08:53 PM

Hi,
Fisrt, thanks so much for your being helpful

second, i'll try to answer your inquiries about the meaning of what i have written before
But, please note that  it was a short piece of a story written in Arabic and as a translator i translated it into English .Since I'm not a native speaker of English, I resorted to ask trustworthy experts


well,
1- the "Country Council",in some of the Arab countries ,consists of a group of the village's representatives that manages,among other things, its social, economic and educational issues.And this coinage is acctually mine since in English I donot think there is an equivalent for it.

2-the phrase"of which" refers to the council.

3-Unfortunatly, the complaints are the same and I sense a redundance here but it was so in Arabic
For this, I may suggest to split the sentence into two parts as follows:

"Copious unsigned complaints, I knew, were lodged against him at the Country Council. Following the council's establishment , the number of such anonymously-penned complaints swelled."

Thank you once more for both your time and effort & I'd like to await your helpful feedback

  
Clive  #496918  Sat, 05 Apr 08 10:22 PM

Hi again,

"Copious unsigned complaints, I knew, were lodged against him at the Country Council. Following the council's establishment , the number of such anonymously-penned complaints swelled."

This is OK, except for one thing. You speak of the Council, and then of the Council's establishment. It seems to me that you need to reverse the order of what is said.

eg "Following the council's establishment, copious unsigned complaints, I knew, were lodged against him at the Country Council. The  number of such anonymously-penned complaints continued to swell."

Clive 

  
OrcaDeen  #496924  Sat, 05 Apr 08 10:41 PM

I'm quite with you that the order is not ok.But, I have an inquiry

would not it be vague to repeat the word council? it may seem as if there are two councils

am i right?

  
OrcaDeen  #496926  Sat, 05 Apr 08 10:44 PM
  
RayH  #496927  Sat, 05 Apr 08 10:48 PM

OrcaDeen

I'm quite with you that the order is not ok.But, I have an inquiry

would not it be vague to repeat the word council? it may seem as if there are two councils

am i right?


Try this,
"Following the Country Council's council's establishment, copious unsigned complaints, I knew, had been were lodged against him. at the Country Council. The  number of such anonymously-penned complaints continued to swell."
  
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OrcaDeen  #496928  Sat, 05 Apr 08 10:50 PM

And do not think that ,in your correction , the meaning changes since : the piece of information expressed by "I know" is the fact that (complaints are lodged )and not that ( following the council's establishment  complaints swelled)

especially this is a literary translation and i fear to miss with it since the writer may intendes something while he choses the order of his sentence

But ,I agree that the order is not ok

  
OrcaDeen  #496932  Sat, 05 Apr 08 11:02 PM

Thank you for your interest to share us

But, your sentence may mean that the main concern of the topic is the council while it is really not

And by deleting the preposition "at", this ignores that the complaints were lodged to that council

Also, the past perfect tense in "had been" may express a very far incident that was finished long ago and doesnot express the sense or continuation in the past since the complaints have been heavily lodged in large numbers

Lastly, Thank you so much

  
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