hitchhiker  +  584 Tue, 27 May 03 10:12 PM So this guy walks into a quiet bar.. He's feeling bad about things and he sits down by himself. He yells over to the barman at the other end and asks for a beer. A few seconds later he hears a voice "nice jacket" "Thanks!" he says to the barman "I didn't say anything" the barman replies So he shrugs, moments later he gets his beer and the barman disappears off. He's sitting quietly when suddenly he hears: "You're looking great today!" "Who said that?" he replies There's noone around at all, then another voice.. "You've lost weight" "Who's there, who said that" he yells.. The barman comes running back in: "What's wrong, why are you screaming" "There's someone speaking to me, telling me i look great and stuff, what's going on?!!" "O don't worry about that, it's only the peanuts, they're complimentary!" hitchhiker Joined on Mon, Nov 18 2002 Richmond, UK Senior Member 4,036 Usenet is like a herd of performing elephants with diarrhea - massive, difficult to redirect, awe-inspiring, entertaining, and a source of mind-boggling amounts of excrement... Jokes

	maj  +  632 Fri, 30 May 03 04:19 PM Two hydrongen atoms walk into a bar. One says " I have lost my electron" the other says, "Are You sure?" The first replies, "Yes, I am positive" And a romantic one!. Two aerials meet on a roof, fall in love and get married. The ceremony wasn't much but the reception was brilliant. i have got another on the verge, should I post it? maj Joined on Mon, Mar 31 2003 Senior Member 4,756 Jokes

	hitchhiker  +  639 Sat, 31 May 03 04:08 AM hehe, told that one to a bunch of people.. Great stuff MaJ! hitchhiker

	chris  +  642 Sun, 01 Jun 03 10:52 AM reception was brilliant! LOL Two elderly gentlemen from a retirement center were sitting on a bench under a tree when one turns to the other and says, "Slim, I'm 73 years old now and I'm just full of aches and pains. I know you're about my age. How do you feel?" Slim says, "I feel just like a newborn baby." "Really? Like a baby?" "Yep. No hair, no teeth and I think I have just made a mess my pants." chris Jokes

	hitchhiker  +  661 Sun, 01 Jun 03 08:14 PM hehe I've got a few business partners who'd appreciate that .. hitchhiker

	hitchhiker  +  663 Sun, 01 Jun 03 09:01 PM Nope i'm all out, there was some shmooliette told me once, but she'd better post them (i'll get it wrong!) (The stick! The stick!) hitchhiker Jokes