Kindly help me with this

Share on Facebook

Creativeguru

#513054 Tue, 13 May 08 08:12 AM

Be ready now you will be a centre of attraction and the force of distraction at all social gatherings or at board meetings or simply put wherever you will go when you are dressed up with Balmain watches.

Is the above line grammatically correct?

Is there any better word than 'centre' to fit the above context?

Do you find this line appealing and alluring customer specifically men?

Creativeguru

Joined on Fri, Feb 8 2008

India

Regular Member (703)

Mister Micawber

#513350 Wed, 14 May 08 01:26 AM

.
Get ready to be the centre of attraction at all social gatherings, at board meetings or wherever you go when you are wearing a Balmain watch.

Is the above line grammatically correct? -- No. I have fixed it, though. You talk to much in your advertising; it needs to be brief and pointed.

Is there any better word than 'centre' to fit the above context? -- No; that is a good one.

Do you find this line appealing and alluring customer specifically men? -- No, I don't. I am not influenced by advertising generally.

Mister Micawber

Joined on Wed, Aug 4 2004

Yokohama

Veteran Member (19,565)

'The question is,' said Humpty Dumpty, 'which is to be master-- that's all.' . 'A fabis abstineto' - Anon

Creativeguru

#513424 Wed, 14 May 08 06:17 AM

Thanks a lot sir hope the day will come soon when you will reply your sentence is perfect grammatically! I am really working hard on that but still commit lots of mistake. Thanks for all your help through which I am learning a lot. This forum is really great. Hope one day I will pay back to this forum by sharing all the knowledge I gain from here to help others.

Creativeguru