Leadership essay, please edit

   Share on Facebook  
Akki  #331537  Tue, 20 Feb 07 11:43 PM

Dear reader,

Please pay special attention to the punctuation and grammar of this script.

 

A leader is a person who attempts to inspire his students with a desire to learn. He may not always succeed in his art or leading; yet, he who learns and inspires on his successes, failures, and meaningful experiences is indeed a genuine leader. I once had the distinct experience of mentoring a prime group that compromised of six young souls. This naive group was a part of the Drug Education For Youth program (D.E.F.Y.), which focuses on drug education through leadership, character development, and positive role model mentoring.

 

Once I was paired with these six individuals, I focused intently on their individuality instead of concentrating on the group as a whole. Soon, after working with these youngsters for a short period of time, I realized that each had their own unique strengths and weaknesses. As a mentor, I aimed to strengthen their potency in field which they excelled by introducing them to even tougher challenging, while simultaneously working on their weaknesses. To encompass every pupil at once without forgetting about their individual characters, I usually presented various types of topics in a classroom type of setting. Topics were demonstrated in a combination of activities that included guided discussions, interactive videos, and role play. Firstly, during these activity sessions I strived to obtain the most information from each of the pupil in my group. Many a times, I encountered situations where the pupils were not comfortable with discussing the topics of drugs, violence, alcohol, sex, and relationships. This act of theirs provided me with the opportunity to use my leadership acumen by using a different style of approach, which was humor. With a comical approach, I was able to gain the trust of my pupils, as they began to converse about topics that once used to be uncomfortable.

 

Besides the classroom environment, I also organized picnics, dance events, and barbecues to help the pupils feel more confident by interacting amongst each other. As a mentor I feel that I have provided these individuals with the fundamentals of building and maintaining long-term relationships, managing conflict, improving self-esteem, setting goals, and becoming leaders. Furthermore, my involvement has led these individuals in pursuing and achieving healthy lifestyles without the use of illegal substances.

  
Not Ranked
Joined on Wed, Jun 28 2006
New Member (35)
nona the brit  #331813  Wed, 21 Feb 07 05:24 PM

I would try to avoid describing only men as leaders in your first paragraph, where you are discussing leadership generally.

Odd word choices highlighted in red. Corrections in bold. Other problems highlighted in yellow.

A leader is a person who attempts to inspire his students with a desire to learn. He may not always succeed in his art or leading; yet, he who learns and inspires with his successes, failures, and meaningful experiences is indeed a genuine leader. I once had the distinct experience of mentoring a prime group that compromised of six young souls. This naive group was a part of the Drug Education For Youth program (D.E.F.Y.), which focuses on drug education through leadership, character development, and positive role model mentoring.

Once I was paired with these six individuals, I focused intently on their individuality instead of concentrating on the group as a whole. Soon, after working with these youngsters for a short period of time, I realized that each had their own unique strengths and weaknesses. As a mentor, I aimed to strengthen their potency in field which they excelled by introducing them to even tougher challenging, while simultaneously working on their weaknesses. To encompass every pupil at once without forgetting about their individual characters, I usually presented various types of topics in a classroom type of setting. Topics were demonstrated in a combination of activities that included guided discussions, interactive videos, and role play. Firstly, during these activity sessions I strived to obtain the most information from each of the pupil in my group. Many a times, I encountered situations where the pupils were not comfortable with discussing the topics of drugs, violence, alcohol, sex, and relationships. This act of theirs provided me with the opportunity to use my leadership acumen by using a different style of approach, which was humor. With a comical approach, I was able to gain the trust of my pupils, as they began to converse about topics that once used to be uncomfortable.

Besides the classroom environment, I also organized picnics, dance events, and barbecues to help the pupils feel more confident by interacting amongst each other. As a mentor I feel that I have provided these individuals with the fundamentals of building and maintaining long-term relationships, managing conflict, improving self-esteem, setting goals, and becoming leaders. Furthermore, my involvement has led these individuals to pursue and achieve healthy lifestyles without the use of illegal substances.


 

  
Top 10 Contributor
Joined on Wed, Sep 22 2004
England
Veteran Member (11,353)
ModeratorProficient Speaker
The name says it all.
AddThis Feed Button RSS Feed: ESL Essay, Writing World
© 2008 MediaCET Ltd.
Terms and Conditions & Terms of Service