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Anonymous  #513746  Wed, 14 May 08 11:17 PM

Hello.. could someone please check my letter? Thnx allot!!

 

Dear Sir/Madam,Hereby I like to introduce myself to you. I am a second year student of the Higher Professional Education at Amsterdam (Bachelor level), Department Build Environment.   After summer Holliday I have to do an internship within a period from September 2008 till February 2009. About the internship I have a question. I would like to do an internship abroad, especially in Australia, Perth. After a long search I have found your company on the internet. My question is if it is possible to do this internship at your company. I would like to do this together with another student of my class. I am approaching your company because I am very interested in your projects at the moment and what I have seen in the portfolio at your site. Because we have chosen specialization building management we would like to work in the building management, in the work preparation and/or project managing.

Would you be able to help us further with our internship?  Yours faithfully,

Nick Strating
The other student: Clint van Zanten

 

  
Mister Micawber  #513849  Thu, 15 May 08 06:06 AM
.
I have underlined some problem areas:

Dear Sir/Madam,

Hereby I like to introduce myself to you. I am a second year student of the Higher Professional Education at
Amsterdam (Bachelor level), Department Build Environment [This phrase does not make sense to me].   After summer Holliday I have to do an internship within a period from September 2008 till February 2009.
About the internship I have a question. I would like to do an internship abroad, especially in Australia, Perth. After a long search I have found your company on the internet. My question is if it is possible to do this internship at your company. I would like to do this together with another student of my class. I am approaching your company because I am very interested in your projects at the moment and what I have seen in the portfolio at your site. Because we have chosen specialization building management we would like to work in the building management, in the work preparation and/or project managing.

Enclosed/attached please find my resume and a copy of my college transcript.   Would you be able to help us further with our internship?

Yours faithfully,
  
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Anonymous  #513925  Thu, 15 May 08 11:09 AM

I have changed what you had underlined...  

 

Dear Sir/Madam,

I am a second year student at the Higher Professional Education of Amsterdam (Bachelor level), institute Built Environment. After summer holidays I will have an internship in the period from September 2008 up to February 2009.
 

I would like to do an internship abroad, especially in Australia, Perth. After seeking on the internet I found your company. And I want to know if it is possible to do this internship at your company. I would like to do this together with another student of my class. I am approaching your company because I am very interested in your projects at the moment and what I have seen in the portfolio at your site. Because we have chosen the specialization building management, we would like to work in work preparation and/or as assistant executor.

Enclosed/attached please find my resume and a copy of my college transcript.  

Would you be able to help us further with our internship?

Yours faithfully,

 

Nick Strating

  
Mister Micawber  #513979  Thu, 15 May 08 12:55 PM
.
OK-- now let's go a step further:


Dear Sir/Madam,

I am a second year student at the Higher Professional Education of Amsterdam (Bachelor level), institute Built Environment [I still don't know what this means, but I am sure it is not right]. After summer holidays, I am expected to intern in the period from September 2008 to February 2009.

I would like to do an internship abroad, especially in Perth, Australia.[Give a reason why Perth] After seeking on the internet I found your company. I would like to know if it is possible to do this internship at your company, together with another student in my class. I am approaching your company because I am very interested in your projects at the moment [Name the projects] and what I have seen in the portfolio at your site [Indicate what you saw of interest]. Because we have chosen a specialization in building management, we would like to work in work preparation and/or as assistant executor [I am unfamiliar with both of these terms and suspect that they are inaccurately translated].

Enclosed/attached [Choose one] please find my resume and a copy of my college transcript.

Would you be able to help us further with our internship?

Yours faithfully,

Nick Strating
  
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