Letter for scholarship

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Hello,

Another architect asking for help. I am trying to write a letter for scholarship in which I should answer:
a. why I wish to study in the UK;
b. why I wish to obtain the qualification; and
c. how I will benefit in terms of career and personal development.
Also, I should give full details of the area that I want to study. The letter should be not more than 1000 words. Could somebody please check my letter?

Thank you.

Dear Sir or Madam:

I graduated in architecture in January 2001 from the (name of the University), Faculty of Architecture in (name of country). My degree focuses on architectural design and landscape architecture. I also took several courses in connection with environmental architecture. Through my studies I became fascinated with issues that concern environmental sustainability.
Environmental architecture supports the sustainable forms of development. Its principles proclaim materials and building systems that do not emit toxic substances and gasses into the interior atmosphere and energy efficient cooling, heating and lighting systems that conserve or eliminate energy use. Another important principle is the use of building materials and products that minimize destruction of the global environment. The form and plan of the design should relate to the site, the region and the climate. The final aim is to achieve an efficient, long lasting and elegant relationship among the site, circulation, building form, mechanical systems and construction technology.
I would like to study and use sustainable environmental design and its building principles, and have done a fair amount of research in that area. Regrettably, the current educational system in my country does not offer further formal education in the area of environmental architecture.
I am aware that quality standards for UK institutions are among the best in the world. Universities, colleges and schools continually have to prove that their courses meet strict criteria. Official bodies constantly assess Universities and colleges and grade the standard of their research and teaching. A qualification from a UK institution is very prestigious, as standards are high at all levels. These qualifications are recognised worldwide, and UK courses encourage independence, creativity and self-reliance.
The (name of the school) in the UK is widely regarded as one of the world's most progressive architectural institutions. Its Environment & Energy programme has a strong tradition of sustainable environmental design on the level of the city and the individual building. Started in (year), as one of the first programmes on the subject in the world, the programme has had a continuous active involvement in research and the development of environmental design education since the aftermath of the first energy crisis. Key objectives are the development of an informed design intuition and the deployment of an environmentally responsive architecture. Lecture series review the theories and practice of environmental sustainability, criteria for an environmental architecture, present case studies by leading researchers and designers, and provide training in the use of specialist software and scientific techniques to inform design decisions. Project work combines design research with environmental analysis and innovative building experiments. Recent contributors to this course have included (name), (name), and many other UK and international practices with a stated commitment to environmentally responsive architecture. The course itself is led by (name) who has lectured in schools of architecture and professional institutes in some thirty countries. He has been awarded the (name of the award) in 2001.
During my several years of work experience at different architectural offices I have been involved in designing and realizing individual houses and housing complexes. I have learned that although there is an increased production of individual houses and collective building in the past five years, homes in my country are still built significantly above the minimum efficiency standards. Homes now use more total non-renewable energy than ever before. In fact, residential buildings currently consume more than one third of all the energy and two thirds of all the electricity used in my country. New single-family homes are, on average, larger than ever before and employ many more electrical devices. Unfortunately, the advantages of energy-efficient architecture in comparison to the traditional way of building are widely unknown and unused in my country. Some of these benefits are: improved comfort as an energy-efficient building envelope reduces temperature fluctuations; reliability as house can be designed to continue functioning even during blackouts; security as home that produces energy protects its owner from variations in energy prices; and environmental sustainability as this type of home saves energy and reduces pollution. In addition, these methods will provide long-term environmental sustainability and incorporate a deeper awareness of the environment into development planning and management.
Considering the fact that UK has excellent educational institution, I believe that the qualification from Postgraduate Course in Environmental architecture in UK would allow me to have the legal licence and credibility to establish and operate service for environmentally supportive buildings. The service would be combination of environmental consultancy and architectural practice. It would offer information and resources that would focus on raising the awareness of the citizens on the energy efficient architecture and promote the use of energy efficient technology in the new home construction. The ultimate goal of the service for environmentally supportive buildings would be to bring the benefits of energy efficient technology into the mainstream of both the residential and commercial building industries. The need for service for environmentally supportive buildings is stressed even more by the requirements of the European Directive on the energy performance of buildings that will be legal requirement in all EU member states as of January 2006.
Furthermore, I am confident that the one year MA Programme at the (name of the school) will help me gain experience, knowledge and contacts that would allow me to become specialist in the field of environmental architecture. Also, I expect to develop expertise in a range of different methodologies for evaluating environmental conditions and predicting the effects of design solutions including data collection, interpretation methods and computer-based simulations of buildings. I am highly motivated to study as I wish to develop the new design skills needed for responding to the varied and complex challenges leading to sustainable development. My present experience and contacts would be another valuable asset in achieving my goals. With strong background in architecture, solid foundation in academic theory and practice on environment and sustainable development I will have the skills, information and methods to be able to incorporate energy efficient architecture into the wider development planning in my country.
Thank you very much for considering my request. I look forward to your positive response.

Sincerely,

New Member01
I graduated in architecture in January 2001 from the (name of the University), Faculty of Architecture in (name of country). My degree focuses on architectural design and landscape architecture. I also took several courses in connection with environmental architecture. Through my studies I became fascinated with issues that concern environmental sustainability [try to weave your work into the picture as you have been working for a while now].

Environmental architecture supports the sustainable forms of development. Its principles proclaim materials and building systems that do not emit toxic substances and gasses into the interior atmosphere and energy efficient cooling, heating and lighting systems that conserve or eliminate energy use. Another important principle is the use of building materials and products that minimize destruction of the global environment. The form and plan of the design should relate to the site, the region and the climate. The final aim is to achieve an efficient, long lasting and elegant relationship among the site, circulation, building form, mechanical systems and construction technology.

I would like to study and use sustainable environmental design and its building principles [should be stated up front], and have done a fair amount of research in that area. Regrettably, the current educational system in my country does not offer further formal education in the area of environmental architecture. [Don’t go into the negatives. You wan to be seen as a person who overcomes challenges and you are looking to further your education.]

I am aware that quality standards for UK institutions are among the best in the world. Universities, colleges and schools continually have to prove that their courses meet strict criteria. Official bodies constantly assess Universities and colleges and grade the standard of their research and teaching. A qualification from a UK institution is very prestigious, as standards are high at all levels. These qualifications are recognised worldwide, and UK courses encourage independence, creativity and self-reliance. [Weak because you are just trying to please them to the institution. It actually weakens your essay. One or two sentences of “pleasing them” is more than sufficient.]

The (name of the school) in the UK is widely regarded as one of the world's most progressive architectural institutions. Its Environment & Energy programme has a strong tradition of sustainable environmental design on the level of the city and the individual building. Started in (year), as one of the first programmes on the subject in the world, the programme has had a continuous active involvement in research and the development of environmental design education since the aftermath of the first energy crisis. Key objectives are the development of an informed design intuition and the deployment of an environmentally responsive architecture. Lecture series review the theories and practice of environmental sustainability, criteria for an environmental architecture, present case studies by leading researchers and designers, and provide training in the use of specialist software and scientific techniques to inform design decisions. Project work combines design research with environmental analysis and innovative building experiments. Recent contributors to this course have included (name), (name), and many other UK and international practices with a stated commitment to environmentally responsive architecture. The course itself is led by (name) who has lectured in schools of architecture and professional institutes in some thirty countries. He has been awarded the (name of the award) in 2001. [They know who they are and what they have accomplished. I am not sure how this furthers your objectives. You want to sell them on why they should admit you to the program. You are not selling yourself in the above paragraph.]

During my several years of work experience at different architectural offices I have been involved in designing and realizing individual houses and housing complexes. I have learned that although there is an increased production of individual houses and collective building in the past five years, homes in my country are still built significantly above the minimum efficiency standards. Homes now use more total non-renewable energy than ever before. In fact, residential buildings currently consume more than one third of all the energy and two thirds of all the electricity used in my country. New single-family homes are, on average, larger than ever before and employ many more electrical devices. Unfortunately, the advantages of energy-efficient architecture in comparison to the traditional way of building are widely unknown and unused in my country. Some of these benefits are: improved comfort as an energy-efficient building envelope reduces temperature fluctuations; reliability as house can be designed to continue functioning even during blackouts; security as home that produces energy protects its owner from variations in energy prices; and environmental sustainability as this type of home saves energy and reduces pollution. In addition, these methods will provide long-term environmental sustainability and incorporate a deeper awareness of the environment into development planning and management. [Again, the primary motivation of your letter should be to sell yourself. Here, you are giving an explanation on environmental design.]

Considering the fact that UK has excellent educational institution, I believe that the qualification from Postgraduate Course in Environmental architecture in UK would allow me to have the legal licence and credibility to establish and operate service for environmentally supportive buildings. The service would be combination of environmental consultancy and architectural practice. It would offer information and resources that would focus on raising the awareness of the citizens on the energy efficient architecture and promote the use of energy efficient technology in the new home construction. The ultimate goal of the service for environmentally supportive buildings would be to bring the benefits of energy efficient technology into the mainstream of both the residential and commercial building industries. The need for service for environmentally supportive buildings is stressed even more by the requirements of the European Directive on the energy performance of buildings that will be legal requirement in all EU member states as of January 2006.

Furthermore, I am confident that the one year MA Programme at the (name of the school) will help me gain experience, knowledge and contacts that would allow me to become specialist in the field of environmental architecture. Also, I expect to develop expertise in a range of different methodologies for evaluating environmental conditions and predicting the effects of design solutions including data collection, interpretation methods and computer-based simulations of buildings. I am highly motivated to study as I wish to develop the new design skills needed for responding to the varied and complex challenges leading to sustainable development. My present experience and contacts would be another valuable asset in achieving my goals. With strong background in architecture, solid foundation in academic theory and practice on environment and sustainable development I will have the skills, information and methods to be able to incorporate energy efficient architecture into the wider development planning in my country.

Thank you very much for considering my request. I look forward to your positive response.



You need to strengthen your essay. Be more direct. Don’t provide a treatise on environmental design. Instead, talk about you and why you want this program, how this program will benefit you, and how you will use your knowledge to contribute to society. And you need to discuss how your work during the past couple of years has contributed to your desire to strengthen your education.

As it stands now, your letter leaves me with the impression that your career has stalled and you are looking to reinvigorate your career. I arrived at my impression through the following observations: 1) graduated 2001, 2) worked in different architectural offices (how many?), 3) no strong motivating factors of why you want to study this program, 4) lots of discussion about environment design and very little discussion about yourself, and 5) a heavy reliance on giving platitudes to England and its universities.

You need to change that impression. You need to be clear about what your objectives are. You need to sell them on you. They are going to be looking at your letter/essay to see how you differentiate yourself from the crowd.

My assessment might seem harsh. But it is better to receive a blunt assessment from someone who doesn’t mean anything to you rather than a rejection from the university?

Put yourself in the shoes of the admissions committee. What is in this letter that drives us to admit this person to our faculty?

So for now, your focus is on the content. Once you have your content organized, then we’ll focus on upgrading your content and look at any grammatical errors.

I hope this helps.

MountainHiker
Senior Member2,528
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Anonymous:
The feedback given for the essay is excellent.
It was also useful for me, even though I was not the intended recepient.

Good resposible feedback
Anonymous:
i am a criminal justice student graduating from my bachelors i will like some help with creating a letter to help me financially
please email me at Email Removed
Anonymous:
hi mountain hiker I need somehelp too
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