Letter of Motivation

This is a discussion thread · 8 replies
Dear all,

first of all I would like to thank all members (and ´guests) for the possibility of this forum. I found it by chance and got many useful tips for the writing of a CV or letter of motivation.
Thank you.

As I am applying for an internship / practical training in the US, I have to write a letter of motivation.
I kindly ask you to check it and give me some useful advise how to improve it---I guess, it is not very good...
Waiting to hear from you - thank you and greeting from Germany,

Julia

Dear Sir / Madam, (the application will be given to several companies...)

With this letter I would like to explain my motivation for an employent at your company and apply for a practical training.

I graduated in Economis from the University of Applied Sciences, Konstanz, Germany in September 2004 where I obtained a degree in Management / Controlling.
After my graduation from High School in 1999, I was working as an intern for a jewellery company in my hometown, Pforzheim where I was allowed to find out more about the practical part of economics before studying economics. The internship gave me the opportunity to understand more about business. After this time, I was fascinated by economics and its daily challenges. My decision to study economics was confirmed.

Part of my studies at a University of Applied Sciences are two practical terms, where students work in a company of their own choice to gain practical experience. For 6 months I was working in Munich at the Hotel Bayerischer Hof, member of the “Leading hotels of the world” at the sales and F&B department. My duties included organizing events for groups, handling booking requests and the booking itself for important clients, groups as well as daily office duties. This work was very challenging because of the projects and sometimes extraordinary client requests.

In 2002 / 2003, I worked as an intern for the automotive company Porsche AG in Stuttgart in the marketing services department for another 6 months. This department organizes driving courses on european ormula one race tracks like Imola, Spa and Hockenheim Ring. The employment included the organisation of booking requests, bookings of the participants, hotel rooms and capacity as well as the organisation on the race track itself. Beeing a big fan of automobiles, especially sports cars, this internship was one of the most interesting employment. Furthermore I was able to learn ortganising and handling the most different people, events and challenges.

After graduation in autum 2004, I started another internship at a pharmaceutical company, Favodent Karl Huber GmbH, where I will be working until February 2005. My duties include the coordination of marketing events, market research and supportive work for the planned market entry in Brasil and Russia. Furthermore I supported the export management in their daily business, calculating prices, offering our products to foreign clients, checking delivery notes and invoices and the shipment itself. Due to the different freight forwarding and custom regulations, I learned to cooperate with diffent parties and matters.

The opportunity to work with several clients within Europe and the U.S., confirmed my decision to work abroad. As I am very interested in other countries, people and the way they are doing business, I am very curious to work in the U.S. and learn more about american economy and culture.
As I have spend many vacations with my grandparents, who are living in Florida, I am fascinated by the “american way of living” and would be pleased to be given the opportunity to experience living a longer period in the U.S.. Especially in todays time, it is very important to improve the own personal skills and work experience abroad.

Due to my work experience in different companies and employment with the most different personalities, I can offer my extended language skills, profound organisation skills as well as my ability to get easiliy used to new projects to my future employee. Furthermore, I am highly motivated to work in another country and in another language as I am ambitious to learn more every day. Aditionally, I learnde the values of teamwork and commitment as well as working hard and focus on given goals. My ability to structure my time and fit my activities into my schedule helped my to complete given projects succesfully.

The preferred field of employment would be in the marketing department or organisation of events. Besides that I would like to work closely together with clients. As I have learned and prooved working on my own before, my employment would does not need extended supersision.

Furthermore, I would like you to know that the accomondation will be organized by Interswop, Germany, as well as work permit , visa and custom matters.

Thank you very much for your time and considering my request, I am looking forward to hearing from you.

Yours sincerly,

Julia
New Member06
Julia,

I disagree. I think your letter is quite good. You have some minor grammatical stuff here and there. But by and large, it is reasonably well written letter.

I don't have time to go through it right now, but take your letter and put into MS Word and perform a spell check. You will catch a lot of your spelling errors. Go through and looking for capitalization errors (American way of living) etc.

Technically speaking, you should begin a sentence with "due to." Search around on the web for ("due to" grammar) without the brackets and you should find the reasons why.

Also "Management / Controlling" -- does that mean Management and Accounting? Try to use a dash "-" rather than a slash "/".

I would try to emphasize at the very beginning of your letter that you have a wide variety of skills and experiences in addition to your languages.

Try revising your letter with these comments and we'll have another look.

MountainHiker
Senior Member2,528
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1 commentDear Mountain Hiker,

Thank you very much for your help, I really do appreciate your work and tried to chnage my letter. As I have not found something helpful in the internet regard. "due to" I posted it in the grammar forum, we'll see if someone is able to help me-actually I am even more confused Emotion: wink
I could not emphazise my "wide variety of skills" at the beginning of the letter, as there are only the descriptions of my work experience, but thanks for your advise.
Besides that I tried to "get rid" of the spelling errors, if you still find one or two ore even more, pls. let me know.

Thank you so much again...

Julia

PS Are you working for this forum for free or is it your job??? If it is not your job, than thank you even more...

Dear Sir / Madam,

With this letter I would like to explain my motivation for an employment at your company and apply for a practical training.

I graduated in economis from University of Applied Sciences, Konstanz, Germany in September 2004 where I obtained a degree in Management - Accounting.
After my graduation from High School in 1999, I was working as an intern for a jewellery company in my hometown, Pforzheim where I was allowed to find out more about the practical part of business before studying economics. The internship gave me the opportunity to understand more about economy. After this time, I was fascinated by the daily challenges, important decisions and the problems you have to face every day. My decision to study economics was confirmed.

Part of my studies at a University of Applied Sciences are two practical terms, where students work in a company of their choice to gain practical experience. In 2001 I was working in Munich at the Hotel Bayerischer Hof, member of the “Leading hotels of the world” at the sales and F&B department for 6 months. My duties included organizing events for groups, handling booking requests and the booking itself for important clients and groups as well as daily office duties. This work was very challenging because of the projects, sometimes extraordinary client requests and the most different personalities.

In 2002 / 2003, I worked as an intern for the automotive company Porsche AG in Stuttgart in the marketing services department for another 6 months. This department organizes driving courses on european Formula One race tracks like Imola, Spa and Hockenheim Ring. The employment included the organisation of booking requests, bookings of the participants, hotel rooms and capacity as well as the organisation on the race track itself. Beeing a big fan of automobiles, especially sports cars, this internship was one of the most interesting employments. Furthermore I was able to learn organising and handling the most different events and challenges.

After graduation from University in autum 2004, I started another internship at a pharmaceutical company, Favodent Karl Huber GmbH, where I will be working until February 2005. My duties include the coordination of marketing events, market research and supportive work for the planned market entry in Brasil and Russia. Furthermore I support the export management in their daily business, calculating prices, offering products to foreign clients, checking delivery notes and invoices and the shipment itself. Due to different freight forwarding and custom regulations, I learned to cooperate with diffent countries and governmental issues.

The opportunity to work with several clients within Europe and the U.S., confirmed my decision to work abroad. As I am interested in other countries, people and the way they are doing business, I am very curious to work in the U.S. and learn more about american economy and culture.
Since I have spend many vacations with my grandparents, who are living in Florida, I am fascinated by the “American Way of Living” and would be pleased to be given the opportunity to experience living a longer period in the U.S.. Especially in todays time, it is very important to improve your personal skills and work experience abroad.

Due to my employment in different companies and work experience with the most different personalities, I can offer my extended language skills, profound organisation skills as well as my ability to get easiliy used to new projects to my future employee. Furthermore, I am highly motivated to work in another country and in another language as I am ambitious to learn more every day. Aditionally, I learned the values of teamwork and commitment as well as working hard and focus on given goals. My ability to structure my time and fit my activities into my schedule helped my to complete given projects succesfully.

The preferred field of employment would be in the marketing department or organisation of events. Besides that I would like to work closely together with clients. As I have learned and prooved working on my own before, my employment would does not need extended supersision.

Furthermore, I would like you to know that the accomondation will be organized by Interswop, Germany, as well as work permit , visa and custom matters.

Thank you very much for your time and considering my request, I am looking forward to hearing from you.

Yours sincerly,

Julia
Julia,

My help is free. We moderators get no financial benefit.

Due to: [url="http://www.bartleby.com/64/C003/0107.html "][/url]

It does seem a bit pedantic, but there it is.

I have reviewed your stuff. I have made numerous edits throughout while trying to maintain "your version".

Hope this helps.

MountainHiker

Dear Sir or Madam: [colon is necessary for North American business, also try to find the the name of the individual]

I am seeking employment with your company as a ***.

I graduated in economics from University of Applied Sciences, Konstanz, Germany in September 2004 where I obtained a degree in Management and Accounting. Complimenting my formal, I have solid practical experience with a wide variety of companies.

After my graduation from High School in 1999, I worked as an intern for a jewelry company in my hometown Pforzheim. Here I learned about the practical aspects of business before studying economics. The internship gave me the opportunity to understand more about the economy. After this time, I was fascinated by the daily challenges, important decisions, and the problems businesses face every day. This exposure to business was a catalyst to my studying economics.

Part of my studies at the University of Applied Sciences were two work terms, where I had the opportunity to work for a company of my choice to gain practical experience. In 2001 I worked in Munich at the Hotel Bayerischer Hof, a member of the “Leading Hotels of the World,” at the sales and F&B department for six months. My duties included organizing events for groups, handling booking requests and the booking itself for important clients and groups as well as peforming daily office duties. This work was very interesting because of the projects, sometimes extraordinary client requests, and handling some of the more challenging and different personalities.

In 2002 / 2003, I worked as an intern for the automotive company Porsche AG in Stuttgart in the marketing services department for another 6 months. This department organizes driving courses on European Formula One race tracks like Imola, Spa and Hockenheim Ring. My responsibilities included the organization of booking requests, bookings of the participants, organization of hotel rooms, and capacity as well as the organisation on the race track itself [Not sure what this last part means]. Being a fan of automobiles, especially sports cars, [be careful with this, some people think that sports cars etc., are immature or materialistic] this internship was one of the most interesting employment opportunities. Furthermore I was able to learn organizational skills by handling the most different (difficult) events and challenges.

After graduation from University in autumn 2004, I started another internship at a pharmaceutical company, Favodent Karl Huber GmbH, where I will be working until February 2005. My duties include the coordination of marketing events, market research and supporting work for the planned market entry in Brazil and Russia. Furthermore I support the export management in their daily business by calculating prices, offering products to foreign clients, checking delivery notes and invoices and the shipment itself. Due to different freight forwarding and custom regulations, I learned to cooperate with different countries and governmental issues.

The opportunity to work with several clients within Europe and the U.S., confirmed my decision to internationally. As I am interested in other countries, people and the way they are doing business, I am very curious to work in the U.S. and learn more about American culture and economy.

Since I have spend many vacations with my grandparents, who are living in Florida, I am fascinated by the “American Way of Living” and would be pleased to be given the opportunity to experience living a longer period in the U.S.. Especially in today’s environment, it is very important to improve your personal skills and gain international work experience.

With my employment in different companies and work experiences, I can offer my multilingual skills, strong organizational skills as well as my ability to accomplish my tasks and assignments on or ahead of schedule. Furthermore, I am highly motivated to work in another country and in another language. [Additionally, I learned the values of teamwork and commitment as well as working hard and focus on given goals.—sounding repetitious] [My ability to structure my time and fit my activities into my schedule helped my to complete given projects successfully.—sounds repetitious again…you have already highlighted your organizational skills]

My preferred field of employment would be in the marketing or hospitality department. Besides that I would like to work closely together with clients. As I have learned and proved working on my own before, my employment would does not need extended supervision. .

Furthermore, I would like you to know that the accommodation will be organized by Interswop, Germany, as well as work permit , visa and custom matters.

Thank you very much for your time and considering my request. I will contact you by phone in two weeks as a follow up to this letter.

Yours sincerely,

Julia
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Julia,

Also, please Due to.

MountainHiker
Trusted Users: Trusted users are allowed to use additional capabilities of the site such as private messaging to all users and various other advanced features. You cannot join this role unless you are promoted by an administrator.
Dear Mountainhiker,

thank you so much for your help. Ive made all the changes you have written and I am now waiting for a positive reply. Hopefully I can start working in the US in April.

Thank you again and a happy new year to you!

Julia
Anonymous:
hi, i found out hat since u did the correction a bit in a hurry, there are still a few errors. i dont have time either, I would have gladly helped here. Please go over aagain if u can to correct the few mistakes.Thank you for helping her out. It's really nice of you.[Y]
Anonymous:
First of all, it is my pleasure to gain a chance to pursuit my academic education in your university at the PhD level in human science or to be more exactly in economics field. My name is KAMYAR and family name is RADNIA as well as I have two younger brothers without sister. So I was born and raised in Mahabad city at the West Azarbayjan state in Iran. I live in a house with my parent and I'm single also.

About my study life is better to start from my High School or Diploma degree. I graduated my first diploma at the Mathematic field in Mahabad. I was so eager to become a scholar person especially in mathematic as my major. To getting this goal my plan was to taking mathematic field as my first diploma in the High School. My High School name that I had studied mathematic field was Imam Khomeyni. I ranked the best student among others so Imam Khomeyni High School was elected me as the best student to participant in Olympiad Mathematic Test (OMT) since of my successes in the mathematic activities. This achievement was the first honor in my scholar life.

To be considering, my interesting was changed smoothly by growing. However along with mathematic activities I was study for economy field also. It is need to be mention in which education system in Iran is little different relate to other countries. It is mean that Iranian students have to taking an exam that its name is Konkur in order to continue their study in universities as an academic scholar after High School. However I was accepted from Iranian universities in accounting field in my bachelor. As I mentioned before I would like to continue my academic scholar in economics but economics materials was not beloved me in Islamic republic of Iran. I didn’t choose economics for my bachelor degree in the Iranian universities due to it is look like Islamic economic that I didn't like it. As the nearest subject to economy I had to opt the accounting for my bachelor. Standard length of study for bachelor in Iran is four years or by the other word is eight semesters (two semesters in a year). Some students unable to be graduate in normal period so it would become more longer than standard period. Fortunately, I graduated in bachelor degree in seven semesters as short as normal period. It is need to be considering since of my well knowledge in some economic and mathematic material so I pass it with good results.

Otherwise I got well experiences in accounting software by working in Maskan Mehr Company by more than three years in my duration study in college simultaneously. By donating my time as a promotion team member of the Maskan Mehr Company, I learned to understand how emotions, especially enthusiasm, can motivate others. However my plan for future was not to working as an accountant in a company but also to continue my study in economics field. In fact it was my initial goal from childhood.

To conversion dreams to real life are impossible for some people while it is not for me. My CGPA in bachelor degree was 3.28 or 16.41/20. So it has caused to attained admission letter in order to study master of economics in U.S.M University in Malaysia. To be honest, my plan is to start a trend that will spread throughout the world. It may be ambitious but it is not impossible. I getting vast opportunity as well as it have caused to open my mind to expansion my knowledge about other people by taking study in U.S.M University. Addition to familiar with other cultures, my English language skills was better than before. So it was a good occasion to show that I'm perfectly capable of taking extension my studies and experiences at the broad universities and applying to real life. Standard length of study for master degree is four semesters in U.S.M University. I was taking the master process in shorter period that has been expected so I graduated in three Semesters.
Don't be missing, my thesis topic was about getting relationship between inflation rate and oil price with exchange rate in Iranian economy from 1971 to 2010. The main reason to choosing this topic for my dissertation was extreme fluctuations in general prices level in Iranian economy in recent years that has some effect been on purchasing power of people. High commodities prices level is results of some extreme sanctions in which has applying been by United States and European Units. In order to abbreviate mention to my research, I found significant and direct relations between exchange rate and consumer price index but indirect relation among oil price and consumer price index. My dissertation was more welcome from my supervisor and other lectures in social science department in U.S.M University. During my training as master student in Malaysia I wrote two articles about Iranian economic so that both of them were accepted from credible journals (As I mention in CV as well as I sent their accepted letters by hard copies).

The mean reason to taking my study in Malaysia was to make myself to pursue PhD by make better my English language skill and found more link with other countries. As you know Iran is a close country relate to Malaysia so it is difficult to find and improve your skills in order to make a better future. Despite of Iranian education system, Malaysian teaching paths was so helpful in order to prepare me to continue PhD level especially in European countries. The most differentiation between two education systems was in research and inquiry approaches. Iranian education system has most blind spot about researches. By and large, Malaysian study had good research experience to improve my research skills for future. Finally, I graduated at March 2013.

In the recent days I found Center for Economic Research & Graduate Education–Economics Institute (CERGE-EI) that offers PhD Scholarships for international students in Czech Republic since I was searched in order to find some places in European countries through websites. I've been glad to find this chance to expanding my study since I have most of the qualification to participant in the scholarship. As I mentioned in the above sentence that from childhood my main interesting for my career was scholar person in the academic environments. To gain this goal and ambitious I have try to get scholarship and also continue my education in the best universities.

I am applying to your PhD program of CERGR-EI with specialization in monetary economics starting in 2014. My career ambition is to become a researcher. I want to study at your university and focus on social sciences like economics because that allows me to combine both my interests in learning more about applied it as well as investigating cognitive processes. Studying in abroad countries help me to capture more experiences by exchange and sharing my impression with other people. Working as an academic person is most important issue for me. It is clean for everyone that finding jobs in government is more difficult than the private sector. It has caused to so many people had to choose their career in private sector.

I want to study at European Universities because of your outstanding educational system, focus on gathering relevant work experience, and your excellent facilities. From speaking with some students (that they were with me in Malaysia) and professors from your other universities, I am confident of my decision. With many distinguished scientists as professors, I know that I will gain expert knowledge at the forefront of scholars.

Upon graduation I plan to work in academic institutions. I have spoken to with my master's supervisor (Dr. Normee) who provided helpful advice. She was graduated in European Countries (United Kingdom). To my future research, I would like to continue my query and searching in monetary economics and its effects on the political economics like distribution of wealth in the society, unemployment rate and government performance. The main reason to pursuing this topic has backed to my prosperity in master degree. Since my subject in master degree was about monetary policy on inflation rate I could be a professional person about this topic in the future. Although I have some ideas for PhD level in monetary economics but these are not decisive. I'm working on a special topic as the best program for my future research.

I am confident that I will bring a high level of energy and enthusiasm to your program. I am sure to exceed your expectations, because of both my academic and interpersonal skills as well as the experience gained from my internship. Furthermore, my international background and interdisciplinary education will add more diversity to your program.

Thank you for considering my application, and I look forward to your acceptance.

Yours sincerly
Kamyar
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