Letter of Motivation

Julietta:

Dear all,

first of all I would like to thank all members (and ´guests) for the possibility of this forum. I found it by chance and got many useful tips for the writing of a CV or letter of motivation.
Thank you.

As I am applying for an internship / practical training in the US, I have to write a letter of motivation.
I kindly ask you to check it and give me some useful advise how to improve it---I guess, it is not very good...
Waiting to hear from you - thank you and greeting from Germany,

Julia

Dear Sir / Madam, (the application will be given to several companies...)

With this letter I would like to explain my motivation for an employent at your company and apply for a practical training.

I graduated in Economis from the University of Applied Sciences, Konstanz, Germany in September 2004 where I obtained a degree in Management / Controlling.
After my graduation from High School in 1999, I was working as an intern for a jewellery company in my hometown, Pforzheim where I was allowed to find out more about the practical part of economics before studying economics. The internship gave me the opportunity to understand more about business. After this time, I was fascinated by economics and its daily challenges. My decision to study economics was confirmed.

Part of my studies at a University of Applied Sciences are two practical terms, where students work in a company of their own choice to gain practical experience. For 6 months I was working in Munich at the Hotel Bayerischer Hof, member of the “Leading hotels of the world” at the sales and F&B department. My duties included organizing events for groups, handling booking requests and the booking itself for important clients, groups as well as daily office duties. This work was very challenging because of the projects and sometimes extraordinary client requests.

In 2002 / 2003, I worked as an intern for the automotive company Porsche AG in Stuttgart in the marketing services department for another 6 months. This department organizes driving courses on european ormula one race tracks like Imola, Spa and Hockenheim Ring. The employment included the organisation of booking requests, bookings of the participants, hotel rooms and capacity as well as the organisation on the race track itself. Beeing a big fan of automobiles, especially sports cars, this internship was one of the most interesting employment. Furthermore I was able to learn ortganising and handling the most different people, events and challenges.

After graduation in autum 2004, I started another internship at a pharmaceutical company, Favodent Karl Huber GmbH, where I will be working until February 2005. My duties include the coordination of marketing events, market research and supportive work for the planned market entry in Brasil and Russia. Furthermore I supported the export management in their daily business, calculating prices, offering our products to foreign clients, checking delivery notes and invoices and the shipment itself. Due to the different freight forwarding and custom regulations, I learned to cooperate with diffent parties and matters.

The opportunity to work with several clients within Europe and the U.S., confirmed my decision to work abroad. As I am very interested in other countries, people and the way they are doing business, I am very curious to work in the U.S. and learn more about american economy and culture.
As I have spend many vacations with my grandparents, who are living in Florida, I am fascinated by the “american way of living” and would be pleased to be given the opportunity to experience living a longer period in the U.S.. Especially in todays time, it is very important to improve the own personal skills and work experience abroad.

Due to my work experience in different companies and employment with the most different personalities, I can offer my extended language skills, profound organisation skills as well as my ability to get easiliy used to new projects to my future employee. Furthermore, I am highly motivated to work in another country and in another language as I am ambitious to learn more every day. Aditionally, I learnde the values of teamwork and commitment as well as working hard and focus on given goals. My ability to structure my time and fit my activities into my schedule helped my to complete given projects succesfully.

The preferred field of employment would be in the marketing department or organisation of events. Besides that I would like to work closely together with clients. As I have learned and prooved working on my own before, my employment would does not need extended supersision.

Furthermore, I would like you to know that the accomondation will be organized by Interswop, Germany, as well as work permit , visa and custom matters.

Thank you very much for your time and considering my request, I am looking forward to hearing from you.

Yours sincerly,

Julia

New Member06

MountainHiker:

Julia,

I disagree. I think your letter is quite good. You have some minor grammatical stuff here and there. But by and large, it is reasonably well written letter.

I don't have time to go through it right now, but take your letter and put into MS Word and perform a spell check. You will catch a lot of your spelling errors. Go through and looking for capitalization errors (American way of living) etc.

Technically speaking, you should begin a sentence with "due to." Search around on the web for ("due to" grammar) without the brackets and you should find the reasons why.

Also "Management / Controlling" -- does that mean Management and Accounting? Try to use a dash "-" rather than a slash "/".

I would try to emphasize at the very beginning of your letter that you have a wide variety of skills and experiences in addition to your languages.

Try revising your letter with these comments and we'll have another look.

MountainHiker

Senior Member2,528

1 comment

Julietta:

Dear Mountain Hiker,

Thank you very much for your help, I really do appreciate your work and tried to chnage my letter. As I have not found something helpful in the internet regard. "due to" I posted it in the grammar forum, we'll see if someone is able to help me-actually I am even more confused Emotion: wink

I could not emphazise my "wide variety of skills" at the beginning of the letter, as there are only the descriptions of my work experience, but thanks for your advise.
Besides that I tried to "get rid" of the spelling errors, if you still find one or two ore even more, pls. let me know.

Thank you so much again...

Julia

PS Are you working for this forum for free or is it your job??? If it is not your job, than thank you even more...

Dear Sir / Madam,

With this letter I would like to explain my motivation for an employment at your company and apply for a practical training.

I graduated in economis from University of Applied Sciences, Konstanz, Germany in September 2004 where I obtained a degree in Management - Accounting.
After my graduation from High School in 1999, I was working as an intern for a jewellery company in my hometown, Pforzheim where I was allowed to find out more about the practical part of business before studying economics. The internship gave me the opportunity to understand more about economy. After this time, I was fascinated by the daily challenges, important decisions and the problems you have to face every day. My decision to study economics was confirmed.

Part of my studies at a University of Applied Sciences are two practical terms, where students work in a company of their choice to gain practical experience. In 2001 I was working in Munich at the Hotel Bayerischer Hof, member of the “Leading hotels of the world” at the sales and F&B department for 6 months. My duties included organizing events for groups, handling booking requests and the booking itself for important clients and groups as well as daily office duties. This work was very challenging because of the projects, sometimes extraordinary client requests and the most different personalities.

In 2002 / 2003, I worked as an intern for the automotive company Porsche AG in Stuttgart in the marketing services department for another 6 months. This department organizes driving courses on european Formula One race tracks like Imola, Spa and Hockenheim Ring. The employment included the organisation of booking requests, bookings of the participants, hotel rooms and capacity as well as the organisation on the race track itself. Beeing a big fan of automobiles, especially sports cars, this internship was one of the most interesting employments. Furthermore I was able to learn organising and handling the most different events and challenges.

After graduation from University in autum 2004, I started another internship at a pharmaceutical company, Favodent Karl Huber GmbH, where I will be working until February 2005. My duties include the coordination of marketing events, market research and supportive work for the planned market entry in Brasil and Russia. Furthermore I support the export management in their daily business, calculating prices, offering products to foreign clients, checking delivery notes and invoices and the shipment itself. Due to different freight forwarding and custom regulations, I learned to cooperate with diffent countries and governmental issues.

The opportunity to work with several clients within Europe and the U.S., confirmed my decision to work abroad. As I am interested in other countries, people and the way they are doing business, I am very curious to work in the U.S. and learn more about american economy and culture.
Since I have spend many vacations with my grandparents, who are living in Florida, I am fascinated by the “American Way of Living” and would be pleased to be given the opportunity to experience living a longer period in the U.S.. Especially in todays time, it is very important to improve your personal skills and work experience abroad.

Due to my employment in different companies and work experience with the most different personalities, I can offer my extended language skills, profound organisation skills as well as my ability to get easiliy used to new projects to my future employee. Furthermore, I am highly motivated to work in another country and in another language as I am ambitious to learn more every day. Aditionally, I learned the values of teamwork and commitment as well as working hard and focus on given goals. My ability to structure my time and fit my activities into my schedule helped my to complete given projects succesfully.

The preferred field of employment would be in the marketing department or organisation of events. Besides that I would like to work closely together with clients. As I have learned and prooved working on my own before, my employment would does not need extended supersision.

Furthermore, I would like you to know that the accomondation will be organized by Interswop, Germany, as well as work permit , visa and custom matters.

Thank you very much for your time and considering my request, I am looking forward to hearing from you.

Yours sincerly,

Julia

MountainHiker:

Julia,

My help is free. We moderators get no financial benefit.

Due to: [url="http://www.bartleby.com/64/C003/0107.html "][/url]

It does seem a bit pedantic, but there it is.

I have reviewed your stuff. I have made numerous edits throughout while trying to maintain "your version".

Hope this helps.

MountainHiker

Dear Sir or Madam: [colon is necessary for North American business, also try to find the the name of the individual]

I am seeking employment with your company as a ***.

I graduated in economics from University of Applied Sciences, Konstanz, Germany in September 2004 where I obtained a degree in Management and Accounting. Complimenting my formal, I have solid practical experience with a wide variety of companies.

After my graduation from High School in 1999, I worked as an intern for a jewelry company in my hometown Pforzheim. Here I learned about the practical aspects of business before studying economics. The internship gave me the opportunity to understand more about the economy. After this time, I was fascinated by the daily challenges, important decisions, and the problems businesses face every day. This exposure to business was a catalyst to my studying economics.

Part of my studies at the University of Applied Sciences were two work terms, where I had the opportunity to work for a company of my choice to gain practical experience. In 2001 I worked in Munich at the Hotel Bayerischer Hof, a member of the “Leading Hotels of the World,” at the sales and F&B department for six months. My duties included organizing events for groups, handling booking requests and the booking itself for important clients and groups as well as peforming daily office duties. This work was very interesting because of the projects, sometimes extraordinary client requests, and handling some of the more challenging and different personalities.

In 2002 / 2003, I worked as an intern for the automotive company Porsche AG in Stuttgart in the marketing services department for another 6 months. This department organizes driving courses on European Formula One race tracks like Imola, Spa and Hockenheim Ring. My responsibilities included the organization of booking requests, bookings of the participants, organization of hotel rooms, and capacity as well as the organisation on the race track itself [Not sure what this last part means]. Being a fan of automobiles, especially sports cars, [be careful with this, some people think that sports cars etc., are immature or materialistic] this internship was one of the most interesting employment opportunities. Furthermore I was able to learn organizational skills by handling the most different (difficult) events and challenges.

After graduation from University in autumn 2004, I started another internship at a pharmaceutical company, Favodent Karl Huber GmbH, where I will be working until February 2005. My duties include the coordination of marketing events, market research and supporting work for the planned market entry in Brazil and Russia. Furthermore I support the export management in their daily business by calculating prices, offering products to foreign clients, checking delivery notes and invoices and the shipment itself. Due to different freight forwarding and custom regulations, I learned to cooperate with different countries and governmental issues.

The opportunity to work with several clients within Europe and the U.S., confirmed my decision to internationally. As I am interested in other countries, people and the way they are doing business, I am very curious to work in the U.S. and learn more about American culture and economy.

Since I have spend many vacations with my grandparents, who are living in Florida, I am fascinated by the “American Way of Living” and would be pleased to be given the opportunity to experience living a longer period in the U.S.. Especially in today’s environment, it is very important to improve your personal skills and gain international work experience.

With my employment in different companies and work experiences, I can offer my multilingual skills, strong organizational skills as well as my ability to accomplish my tasks and assignments on or ahead of schedule. Furthermore, I am highly motivated to work in another country and in another language. [Additionally, I learned the values of teamwork and commitment as well as working hard and focus on given goals.—sounding repetitious] [My ability to structure my time and fit my activities into my schedule helped my to complete given projects successfully.—sounds repetitious again…you have already highlighted your organizational skills]

My preferred field of employment would be in the marketing or hospitality department. Besides that I would like to work closely together with clients. As I have learned and proved working on my own before, my employment would does not need extended supervision. .

Furthermore, I would like you to know that the accommodation will be organized by Interswop, Germany, as well as work permit , visa and custom matters.

Thank you very much for your time and considering my request. I will contact you by phone in two weeks as a follow up to this letter.

Yours sincerely,

Julia

MountainHiker:

Julia,

Also, please Due to.

MountainHiker

Julietta:

Dear Mountainhiker,

thank you so much for your help. Ive made all the changes you have written and I am now waiting for a positive reply. Hopefully I can start working in the US in April.

Thank you again and a happy new year to you!

Julia

Anonymous:

hi, i found out hat since u did the correction a bit in a hurry, there are still a few errors. i dont have time either, I would have gladly helped here. Please go over aagain if u can to correct the few mistakes.Thank you for helping her out. It's really nice of you.[Y]

Letter of Motivation

Related forum topics: