Letter requesting sponsors for a non-profit event

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Anonymous:
I work for a non-profit that is approaching our 3rd annual charity motocross event to benefit mitochondrial disease research and raise awareness. Below is our current letter requesting sponsors for raffle items (our main source of fundraising). I was hoping to receive some feedback.

Thank you in advance!

Our letter:

It has been stated that 1 in 4,000 children will develop a Mitochondrial Disease by the age of 10 years old (mitoaction.org.) My child is the 1 in 4000. There is no cure for this disease and most who hear of it have the same response, “What’s Mitochondrial Disease??”

My name is xxxx xxxxx. I’m the mother of two kids. My oldest, xxxx, is a 10 year old boy who has considered all dirt bike riders his role model, next to his Dad, since he was 2 years old. He has developed a love for racing and hopes one day to compete in freestyle events. Easton has only one other passion that comes close to his love for dirt bikes, the battle against Mitochondrial Disease. His baby sister, xxxx, who is now 6 years old, was diagnosed at 18 months with this horrendous disease. I will not overwhelm you with the details, but will invite you to visit our website for further information. However, I will say that Mitochondrial Disease affects people from head to toe. Essentially Mitochondrial Disease is a deficiency in the body’s ability to form energy leaving all other organs and life supporting functions to suffer. It preys on adults with later onset, but it also preys on innocent children forcing their lives to be hindered by this monster. Symptoms range in severity from mild to fatal. There is no treatment, no cure and minimal research is being completed due to lack of funding. There is only care, comfort and maintenance for the patient.

xxxxxx is a non-profit organization that’s mission is to support advocacy, awareness and ultimately a cure for Mitochondrial Disease. On October 1, 2011, the third annual xxxxxx will take place. We are very pleased to announce that we were able to raise a combined $20,000.00 in years previous, donating all proceeds to the Mitochondrial Community! This year we expect to greatly exceed this amount, with helpful sponsors such as you. xxxxxx's Board has made the decision to devote their time and dedication to fundraising for two non-profit organizations, MitoAction and UMDF. Both organizations are extremely committed to the Mitochondrial Disease community focusing on support for the individuals, the families, awareness and a cure.

At this time, I would like to ask for your generosity in helping to support our mission. Since this year’s event is very similar to the previous year we will again offer the raffle tent. In the past this area was filled with items such as gift baskets, gift certificates, tools, personal apparel, jewelry and much more. We are looking for similar donations again this year, but are always open to new ideas, too.

We look forward to speaking with you in the near future and are available at any time for questions. Once again, please visit our website for additional information regarding the devastating effects of Mitochondrial Disease and our goal to leaving Mitochondrial Disease in the dust.
Here is another version of your letter.

I took the opportunity to using my medical training to try and improve the section describing the disease - but you may or may not like it.

Dear XX,

It has been stated that 1 in 4,000 children will develop a Mitochondrial Disease by the age of 10. (www.mitoaction.org .). My child is that 1. There is no cure for the disease, and most who hear of it have the same response: “What’s Mitochondrial Disease?”

My name is xxxx xxxxx and I’m the mother of two wonderful, bright kids. My oldest, xxxx, is 10 and, apart from his Dad, he has adopted all dirt bike riders as his role model. He has developed a love for racing and hopes one day to compete in freestyle events. Easton has only one other passion that comes close to his love for bikes: his battle against Mitochondrial Disease. His baby sister, xxxx, now 6 years old, was diagnosed at 18 months with the same disease. I won’t bore you with the details, but I would like to invite you to visit our website for more information. I will say, however, that Mitochondrial Disease affects not only patients, but also whole families, caregivers and friends. It literally affects those stricken from head to toe. Essentially, Mitochondrial diseases result from failure of the body to create the necessary amount of energy needed to sustain life and support growth. When mitochondria fail, less and less energy is generated. If this process is repeated throughout the body, whole systems begin to fail, and the life of the person is severely compromised. The disease primarily affects children, but adult onset is becoming more common. Currently, there is no treatment, no cure and only minimal research is being conducted due to lack of funds. All we have is care, comfort and maintenance for patients living with this dreaded disease.

xxxxxx is a non-profit organization that’s mission is to support advocacy, awareness and ultimately find a cure for Mitochondrial Disease. On October 1, 2011, the third annual xxxxxx will take place. We are very pleased to announce that we were able to raise a combined $20,000 over preceding years, donating all proceeds to the Mitochondrial Community! This year, with the generous help of sponsors such as you, we expect to greatly exceed this amount,. xxxxxx's Board has made the decision to dedicate fundraising to two non-profit organizations: MitoAction and UMDF. Both organizations are highly committed to the Mitochondrial Disease community and each focuses on support for the individual patient, families, disease awareness and a cure.

I would like to take this opportunity to ask for your support and generosity in accomplishing our mission. Since this year’s event is very similar to last year’s, we will again offer a raffle tent. In the past, this area was filled with items such as gift baskets, gift certificates, tools, personal apparel, jewelry and much more. Not only are we looking for similar donations this year, we are also open to new ideas and changing tastes. Your suggestions are more than welcome.

We look forward to speaking with you in the near future and are available at any time for questions. Once again, please visit our website for additional information regarding the disease and our goal of eliminating Mitochondrial Disease once and for all.

Anonymous

Reply

I hope this helps and good luck with your function!

Sincerely,

JohnParis MD PhD.
Senior Member3,043
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