Hi,
I've suggested some changes.
Good luck, Clive
The Head of Health Department,WB
Subject: RAPID SPREAD OF MALARIA
Dear Sir,
With due respect, I would like to inform you regarding the epidemic of malaria in this region. Things are now very, very bad. More and more people , especially children, are becoming affected by it. If the necessary steps are not taken in time, it will become much worse. (will become a disaster?)
Please help us. This is an alarming situation and the people of this region need government aid.
Thanking you,
Yours truly,
XYZ