This is a discussion thread · 65 replies
What I will do is , I will post some material from one of threads in “Topic of the Moment section” called – ‘What is Love’
One result of mysterious nature of Love is that no one ever has, to our knowledge, arrived at a very satisfactory definition of Love. In an effort to understand Love, therefore, Love has been divided in to various categories: Eros, Philly, agape: perfect love and imperfect Love and so on. Let us presume a single definition of it. Again with the awareness that it is likely to be inadequate in some way or the other. The will to extend one's self for the purpose of nurturing one's own or spiritual growth.
At the outset, I will like to comment that this is purely Theological definition; the behavior is defined in terms goal or the purpose it serves
People are generally confused to as to nature of Love. For instance, a timid young man my say" My Mother Loved me so much, she would not let me take the school bus to school until my senior year in high school. Even then I had to beg to her to allow me to go on my own. I guess she was afraid of me getting hurt. So she drove me to Scholl everyday, which was very hard on her."
In treating this patient out of his timidity it will be important to teach him that his mother might have been motivated by something other than Love, and that what seems to be Love is often not Love at all.
It may be noticed that, as defined, love is a strangely circular process. For the process of extending one's self is an evolutionary process. Thus the act of Loving is the act of self-evolution even when the purpose of the act is someone else's growth. It also involves self-love since if we are human then the act to loving human is to love myself as well. To be dedicated to our own development as well as other's development. Indeed we are incapable to love others if we do not love ourselves, just as we are incapable to teach our children self-discipline unless we ourselves are self-discipline. We can not be a source of strength unless we nurture our own strength.
The act of extending one's limits implies efforts. Love is not effortless; contrary to this it is effortful. Desire to Love is not itself love. Love is an act of will- both intention and action. Desire is not necessarily action, Will is desire of sufficient intensity that is translated in to action. Will also imply choice. We do not have to Love, we choose to Love.
Here is something more.
*** in ***
Of all the misconception about Love the most potent one is about "Falling in Love".
When you say I am falling in Love, we certainly mean- "I love him" or "I love her". But two problems are immediately visible. The first is that the experience of falling in Love is specifically a sex-linked erotic experience. We do not fall in Love in with our children even though we may love them very deeply. We do not fall in Love with friends of same sex, until we are homosexual oriented- even though we may care for them greatly. We fall in Love only we are consciously or unconsciously sexually motivated.
The second problem is that this experience of falling in Love is invariably temporary. No matter whom we fall in Love with, we sooner or later fall out of Love if the relationship continues long enough. This, however, does not mean we cease to Love that person.
If falling in Love is not Love, then what is it other than temporary and partial collapse of ego boundaries? I do not know. But the sexual specificity of the phenomenon leads me to suspect that it is a genetically determined instinctual component of mating behavior. In other words, the temporary collapse of our ego boundaries that constitutes falling in Love is a stereotypic response of human beings to a configuration of internal sexual drives and external sexual stimuli.
Hope we have enough material to start our good discussion.
Other cases could be someone who loved another person at first sight but the person being liked either do not like him or were even just strangers. I think these are purely crashes or wishful thinkings. It could be caused by what you were feeling at that moment which caused you to like her when you first saw her. Such love often fades very soon.
Sometimes, I think that love is a matter of fate. If fate brings you and another person together, that is it. But if fate wants to hold you back, then there is really nothing you could do. Besides fate, having the chemistry between the both of you could another matter to be considered.
i think this kind of attraction is not caused by physical contact but by the spiritual connection.it's like Soul Mate or something else.it is very pure so in my opinion it's not with a tinge of lust attaction.
As a buddhist. i believe samsara .so base on this theory it can explain very well why people have a strongly attraction when he /she see another person because they had a intimate relationship many many years ago.
younger people in most cases?
What I mean is that the young persons are more
emotional, purer and sensitive in general. While you grow older you experience a number of relationships and some of them turn out to be dissapointments. It's inevitable. Unfortunately you become less impulsive and more cautious with people. You become, as it is in a song of Jethro Tull, "wounded, old and treacherous". Somewhat of a cynic...
Apart from that I'm impatient to express my delights to
the incredible positive spirit in this society here!
I fell in love at first sight with all of you, people!
People are waiting to help.
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