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Latest post Mon, Dec 18 2006 5:23 PM by Anonymous. 3 replies.
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Anonymous  +  303136 Tue, 12 Dec 06 03:11 PM

Hi,

Today  I had to summarize a medical article using as much linkwords as I could. Could you please let me know whether what I wrote is grammatically OK.

Thanks

Here's the text :

Some hypolipidemic drugs, i.e. statins and fibrates, occasionally create adverse side effects in patients, especially myalgia.

Up to 7 % of the people taking one of these drugs may experience mild myalgia, in other words moderate muscular symptoms. Furthermore, 0.1 % of the patients experience severe myalgia. Even though these symptoms are idiopathic there are nevertheless many known risk factors, such as age, gender, body weight and certain specific medical troubles. Although rhabdomyolysis is a very serious condition, it is not always fatal.

As for the rest of the population, these drugs are usually well-tolerated.

These symptoms used to be overlooked in the past, whereas they are now seriously taken into account, as this study shows.

Cheyenne

Feebs11  +  303228 Tue, 12 Dec 06 09:44 PM
Looks fine.


Joined on Thu, Nov 23 2006
UK
Veteran Member 5,015
Med ESL Diana  +  304408 Sat, 16 Dec 06 12:21 AM

Hi Cheyenne,

Your text is gramatically correct, although the word choices you used may not be the best.  If you are trying to write in an academic setting, generally it is helpful to use more formal connecting words.  For example, when you say "especially", it would be more appropriate to say, "in particular."  I know that this is nit-picky, but if you want to sound professional, you need to use formal language.  It would be better to say, instead of "in other words", the phrase " defined by/as."   Also, you need commas around nevertheless - "Even though these symptoms are idiopathic, there are, nevertheless, many known risk factors ..."

I hope this helps out,

Di 

Joined on Mon, Dec 4 2006
New Member 07
Anonymous, 2 yr 340 days ago

linkwords or transitions.  You used a lot but most medical reports would not show as many transitions as you used. Some of the transitions you used were fine, but not necessary.

gina

Up to 7% of the people taking hypolipidemic drugs may experience mild myalgia which describes moderate muscular symptoms.  Furthermoe, 0.1% of the patients (who??? those studied/observed?/ using the drug?)experience(d) severe myalgia.  Although these symptoms are idiopathic, there are still many known risk factors such as age, gender, body weight and certain specific medical history factors to take into accountEven though rhabdomyolysis is a very serious condition, it is not always fatal.

gina

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