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Please Mister Micawber - Can you help me to correct my cover letter

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rimel  #504230  Wed, 23 Apr 08 11:55 AM

Dear Mister Micawber,

 As I saw you were a forum guru, kindly responding to some request here, I personnally ask for your help. I actually need some part of my cover letter to be corrected as I am looking for a new job. I would really appreciate if you could help me.

 many thanks 

"I have a comprehensive professional experience, during which I have had exposure to various financial products / investment strategies as an asset manager or a risk controller. I have developed an extensive knowledge of financial markets and most asset classes. Specialized in equity markets and arbitrages, I have also acquired strong technical skills in different fields such as funds allocation and derivatives. The position you want to fulfil is for me a unique occasion to synthesize my previous experience and take part in an ambitious global and large-scale project. I am an analytical, proactive and committed team player who can work autonomously.

I am confident my qualification will be of interest to you and I am eager to take part in ABC expansion. I would be delighted to attend for an interview and look forward to hearing from you soon."

 

  
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Mister Micawber  #504303  Wed, 23 Apr 08 01:54 PM
.
I have underlined some problem areas:


I have a comprehensive professional experience, during which I have had exposure to various financial products / investment strategies as an asset manager or a risk controller. I have developed an extensive knowledge of financial markets and most asset classes. Specialized in equity markets and arbitrages, I have also acquired strong technical skills in different fields such as funds allocation and derivatives. The position you want to fulfil is for me a unique occasion to synthesize my previous experience and take part in an ambitious global and large-scale project. I am an analytical, proactive and committed team player who can work autonomously.

I am confident my qualification will be of interest to you and I am eager to take part in ABC expansion. I would be delighted to attend for an interview and look forward to hearing from you soon.
  
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rimel  #504346  Wed, 23 Apr 08 02:44 PM

Many thanks for your kind help Mister Micawber.

 

  
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