"19.1.69
A beautiful afternoon sun on Sunday . The wind is rising in the old forest . The radio station is broadcasting the international music program . Sitting in a small room , I feel that this scenery is so peaceful . Suddenly , I forget all about the bomb , bullet , fire and sword , all about death and grief . Within my soul , there is only boundless inspiration with the piece of music .
I don't know if it is blamable or laudable . It is blamable because I forget the continuous pangs of my nation , the crime of bloodthirsty predator who keeps trampling upon my native soil . However , it is laudable because from myriads of hardship , I am still throbing with emotion in the optimistic hope of vitality . It is the fresh hope within my soul .
Dear Phuong ,in the North , do you usually feel painful when looking at the parting scenery in every Vietnamese house ? Here , I feel a hundred thousands times clearer about that sad situation . But I still hope that both you and I will not loose the joy and dream in our hearts . Be as we used to be before , my dear sister! And on Sunday afternoon , we will listen to the international music program together , and we will always write down on our diaries . Life is still dreamlike even when bombs are continuously falling around us ."
"13.3.69
One more fellow has lain down . He had a wound through the belly . After the surgery , his condition is not good but worse . May be because of the internal bleeding , when the unfound shell fragment cut the blood vessel . Holding a consultation , all of people don't agree with operating again . But I myself hesitated .Finally , he died -his death made me think a lot . Why did he die ? Because of my demur ? May be . If I were determined , at least in 100% hope of existence , he could have had 10% . I followed the tail of the mass , skipping a should-be-done work .
He died . In his *** pocket is a small notebook that contains some pictures of a girl with charming smile , and a letter telling about her faithful expectation . There is also a handkerchief embroidered with a line :" WAITING FOR YOU " . Alas ! The girl in the rear ! Your lover will never come back . Your mourning head-band you will have to wear on your young hair is the result of the crime of killers - The American imperialism . And my regret , I'm a doctor who didn't rescue him when I was able to do ! "
"19.3.69
Yesterday , we attacked the enemy in Duc Pho . The whole area was burnt in our army's vindictive hatred fire . One of the martyrs was Luc - a wounded soldier who had recovered and continued fighting . Luc died on the first belligerent days after convalescing . In my eyes now is clearly the picture of a boy with intelligent eyes and a consistent countenance . Luc usually carried red *** which had a line : " Swear to die voluntarily for the life of native land ."And the warm singing usually resounded in afternoons : " How beautiful our country is , in the bright moonlight when the cloud is flying around our feet ..."
Luc ! Did you die? Why is your singing still resounding behind my ears ? And why is your handwriting in letters you wrote to me still so fresh ? You are like Bon , Khiem , like heros sacrificing their lives for the victorious future . All of you will still be alive in my mind and in our people's soul . "
* red tie is like the small flag wore by Vietnamese pioneers .
"28.4.69
Although we prepared before , when the event occured , there are still unsucess and difficulties . This morning , followed by the opinion of steering commitee yesterday , all of serious wounded soldiers have move into another area. Because we think that the enemy may scour the infirmary.
Earlier than 6 o'clock , I urged fellows to bring wounded soldiers . And I also carried lots of things along with them . Carrying over the slope , people's sweat was dripping on their cheeks - but can't linger to wait until it dried up . I encouraged them to come back and carried the last 3 injuried soldiers left behind .
After nearly one and a half hour later , some salvos exploded very closely . I thought mentally enemy might come to the infirmary so I decided to warn so that soldiers could get ready . Not having done that ,I was told by the ethnic guerilla that enemy had come to the ditch . People run away straight forward .
The whole force having task to carry wounded hadn't come here . There are 5 cases left but there is only me , Tam and some students . " Can't leave injured soldiers , try our best to carry them , my fellows !"- I said in a divided mind when opposite to me were some pale and skinny teenagers . The circumstance was much more dangerous when Tam and Quang ran towards me and informed that enemy had come nearer - at the stream .
Some cases moved , but there was Kiem - a soldier who was having femur fracture . Not being able to manage , I called a student named Ly to carry him together . Kiem was so big and heavy that 2 women couldn't lift him .We made our arduous effort but could just drag him out of the house . Leaving him alone , I had to go and call some more fellows . Luckily , I met Minh , Co . But they were loosing their breath , announcing that the enemy had shot down Van - an injured soldier . We trailed Kiem and run away , jumping into a pit to hide .
One hour later , we gathered together all of wounded soldiers - just lack of Van only . As for revolutionary cadres , there were 9 comrades absent .
We decided to move to Ho Sau to take advantage of the terrain and food of the 120 unit like our plan the day before .
The displacement was mighty miserable . It may be as unfortunate as the other times our infirmary was bombed and ambushed , but more arduous because we couldn't rely on anyone . Some ailing comrades that never carried wounded soldiers previously had to get a task to carry one case , wandering up hill and down dale to move into the new location .
Weary , hungry and trembling , but my comrades and I were extremely calm. Because we have grown up after some fierce years .
At 4 o'clock , we moved into our location .
And when the night came , the forest was inundating with moonlight . After asking after my wounded soldiers who didn't have any serious change , I came back , lying and comtemplating the brillian moonlight . I couln't think .
Full 2 years . Also in the April , also in the moon season , I undertook a task in Duc Pho when the infirmary had been destroyed after the bombed . It's April again ... Sunshine in the South is always intense . And my disgust is as intense as that sunshine in summer . This afternoon , standing on the top of a high mountain , I watched the old infirmary going up in smoke and my eyes dewed with tears . So much perspiration and effort , so much wealth of people who had saved to support injured soldiers , now it was burnt to the ground ! What can I say , my comrades ! What can I say except a muttable philosophy of a Vietnamese " There is no better way than beating so that there will be no more an American invader existing in our country . "
" 18.5.69
The fighting situation is continuous , day and night , the shot was still resounding , the sound of helicopter is still screaming in the space and every night the rockets are still blazing in the sky . The war is more and more violent , our soldiers are lying in the battle , lethal weapons , broiling sun and smoke make their skins tanned . The liberation soldiers ! In myriads of peril and danger , you are the people who have to undergone most . Your blood penetrates into the flag and the soil you are protecting . At this time , I feel more poignant than ever about your heroic sacrifice . How holy ... I know that many of you come from the North . And there are also many people who have had peaceful day and set food in this fierce scene recently . Last time , I met some very young scouts . They must be secondary students who have left the pens and got the rifle to be against the American soldiers , preserve our country ."
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