Motivation Letter for Business School

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Dear MountainHiker:
First of All I would like to appreciate you for the previous letter...I'm trying to apply for a new programme and basically I went with the format of the last letter but I think I need to have change completely the fifth paragraph...Could you please review it and tell me what I probably need to change...
Best regards, Jay T
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Director of the Program
Department of Marketing and Management
University of Southampton

February 12, 2005

Dear Sir or Madam:

I am writing to apply for the Master’s Programme in International Business.

After completing the Master's Programme, I plan to continue my education and obtain a Ph.D. in Management. My objective is to become a faculty member at a leading university and investigate issues concerned with Management as it affects organizational strategy, structure, and systems.

I have a Bachelor Degree in English Translation from Essex University in Panama. After graduation and ten years of work, I have become an executive manager of a medical services company. I was responsible for all business matters, including administrative, financial, and marketing functions.

I have always endeavored to upgrade my education in the field of business. In January 1999, I was accepted in a full-time MBA program in the American University of Roma in Peru. I successfully passed eight courses. In May 2000, I moved to the University of Southern in US to complete my degree. I was a full-time MBA student and I have successfully passed nine MBA courses. Through my courses, I have developed a strong analytical and creative business mind.

I started as Marketing and Sales Assistant in my first job in my country and then I promoted to Vice-President Marketing in the same company. Then when I went to Kent, I worked as Public Relations Manager and Insurance Manager in Doritos for one year and half. When I went to USA, I worked as Assistant Manager of Gemini for almost a year. Then I worked for Bank of America as District Sales Manager for seven months before coming back to my country. Twelve years of experience working in diverse positions and companies in three different countries with complete different work environment and culture has taught me to manage daily administrative and financial activities. I am fluent in English and also I have enough knowledge of French.

To further prepare myself better for the program, I completed a course in Strategic Planning in Faculty of Economics in York University. I have also taken courses in e-Commerce and Financial Mathematics in Excel. Moreover, I made extensive use of spreadsheet, word processing, and presentation software packages for analysis and preparation of presentations and reports during my twelve-year work experience.

I have a strong academic background, as evidenced by my graduate level courses, as well as a solid track record of executive experience. With further education in International Business, I will be able to combine a teaching career with consulting business on management issues. I will understand the latest theories of management combined with strong real world experience that will allow me to develop interesting and significant topics for further study and channel my educational and managerial skills into providing unique business solutions. I am confident that the Master’s Programme in International Business offered by Southampton University will provide me the knowledge, confidence, and contacts to realize my dreams.

Thank you very much for considering my request. I look forward to your positive response.

Sincerely yours,

Jay T
New Member13
JayT,
I started as Marketing and Sales Assistant in my first job in my country and then I promoted to Vice-President Marketing in the same company. Then when I went to Kent, I worked as Public Relations Manager and Insurance Manager in Doritos for one year and half. When I went to USA, I worked as Assistant Manager of Gemini for almost a year. Then I worked for Bank of America as District Sales Manager for seven months before coming back to my country. Twelve years of experience working in diverse positions and companies in three different countries with complete different work environment and culture has taught me to manage daily administrative and financial activities. I am fluent in English and also I have enough knowledge of French.


I would rewrite this to say that you have x years experience ranging from k to l. The key positions relating to marketing are blah blah blah.

In other words, don't provide a running commentary on your career. Just pick out those salient points that he or she needs to know about.

Does that help?

MountainHiker
Senior Member2,528
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Dear MountainHiker:
I made few changes in the fifth Paragraph. should I mention any year or location? what do you think about the overall tone of the letter? is it good enough to apply for International Business?
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Dear Sir or Madam:

I am writing to apply for the Master’s Programme in International Business.

After completing the Master's Programme, I plan to continue my education and obtain a Ph.D. in Management. My objective is to become a faculty member at a leading university and investigate issues concerned with Management as it affects organizational strategy, structure, and systems.

I have a Bachelor Degree in English Translation from Essex University in Panama. After graduation and ten years of work, I have become an executive manager of a medical services company. I was responsible for all business matters, including administrative, financial, and marketing functions.

I have always endeavored to upgrade my education in the field of business. In January 1999, I was accepted in a full-time MBA program in the American University of Roma in Peru. I successfully passed eight courses. In May 2000, I moved to the University of Southern in US to complete my degree. I was a full-time MBA student and I have successfully passed nine MBA courses. Through my courses, I have developed a strong analytical and creative business mind.

I have twelve years experience in various business fields. The key positions to Marketing are Marketing and Sales Assistant and Vice President Marketing. In the field of Management, I worked as Public Relations and Insurance Manager, Assistant Manager and Executive Manager. Twelve years of experience working in diverse positions and companies in three different countries with complete different work environment and culture has taught me to manage daily administrative and financial activities. I am fluent in English and also I have enough knowledge of French.

To further prepare myself better for the program, I completed a course in Strategic Planning in Faculty of Economics in York University. I have also taken courses in e-Commerce and Financial Mathematics in Excel. Moreover, I made extensive use of spreadsheet, word processing, and presentation software packages for analysis and preparation of presentations and reports during my twelve-year work experience.

I have a strong academic background, as evidenced by my graduate level courses, as well as a solid track record of executive experience. With further education in International Business, I will be able to combine a teaching career with consulting business on management issues. I will understand the latest theories of management combined with strong real world experience that will allow me to develop interesting and significant topics for further study and channel my educational and managerial skills into providing unique business solutions. I am confident that the Master’s Programme in International Business offered by Southampton University will provide me the knowledge, confidence, and contacts to realize my dreams.

Thank you very much for considering my request. I look forward to your positive response.

Sincerely yours,

Jay T
Dear MountainHiker:
I was wondering if you answer me as soon as possible Please...Unifortunately I have just 7 days to mail it out...
Dear MountainHiker:
I made few changes in the fifth Paragraph. should I mention any year or location? what do you think about the overall tone of the letter? is it good enough to apply for International Business?
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Dear Sir or Madam:

I am writing to apply for the Master’s Programme in International Business.

After completing the Master's Programme, I plan to continue my education and obtain a Ph.D. in Management. My objective is to become a faculty member at a leading university and investigate issues concerned with Management as it affects organizational strategy, structure, and systems.

I have a Bachelor Degree in English Translation from Essex University in Panama. After graduation and ten years of work, I have become an executive manager of a medical services company. I was responsible for all business matters, including administrative, financial, and marketing functions.

I have always endeavored to upgrade my education in the field of business. In January 1999, I was accepted in a full-time MBA program in the American University of Roma in Peru. I successfully passed eight courses. In May 2000, I moved to the University of Southern in US to complete my degree. I was a full-time MBA student and I have successfully passed nine MBA courses. Through my courses, I have developed a strong analytical and creative business mind.

I have twelve years experience in various business fields. The key positions to Marketing are Marketing and Sales Assistant and Vice President Marketing. In the field of Management, I worked as Public Relations and Insurance Manager, Assistant Manager and Executive Manager. Twelve years of experience working in diverse positions and companies in three different countries with complete different work environment and culture has taught me to manage daily administrative and financial activities. I am fluent in English and also I have enough knowledge of French.

To further prepare myself better for the program, I completed a course in Strategic Planning in Faculty of Economics in York University. I have also taken courses in e-Commerce and Financial Mathematics in Excel. Moreover, I made extensive use of spreadsheet, word processing, and presentation software packages for analysis and preparation of presentations and reports during my twelve-year work experience.

I have a strong academic background, as evidenced by my graduate level courses, as well as a solid track record of executive experience. With further education in International Business, I will be able to combine a teaching career with consulting business on management issues. I will understand the latest theories of management combined with strong real world experience that will allow me to develop interesting and significant topics for further study and channel my educational and managerial skills into providing unique business solutions. I am confident that the Master’s Programme in International Business offered by Southampton University will provide me the knowledge, confidence, and contacts to realize my dreams.

Thank you very much for considering my request. I look forward to your positive response.

Sincerely yours,

Jay T
Hi JayT,

I am not checking in as frequently as in the past.
I have twelve years experience in various business fields. The key positions to Marketing are Marketing and Sales Assistant and Vice President Marketing. In the field of Management, I worked as Public Relations and Insurance Manager, Assistant Manager and Executive Manager. Twelve years of experience working in diverse positions and companies in three different countries with complete different work environment and culture has taught me to manage daily administrative and financial activities. I am fluent in English and also I have enough knowledge of French.


I have twelve years experience in business. The key positions related to marketing are Marketing and Sales Assistant and Vice President Marketing. In the field of management, I worked as Public Relations and Insurance Manager, Assistant Manager and Executive Manager. Twelve years of experience working in diverse positions and companies in three different countries with complete different work environments and cultures has broadened my outlook and allowed me to view the world from a different vista.

I am fluent in English and also I have a working knowledge of French. I am not really sure how this sentence fits in with the paragraph above. Note, I have changed your sentence. I might be inclined to simply delete it, even though it is useful and good information.

I hope this helps.

MountainHiker
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Dear MountainHiker:
First of all, I would like to appreciate you. You helped me a lot...
and I did the replacements as you recommended.Now if you please take a look at this one more time. Thanks, Jay T
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Director of the Programme
School of Economics and Commercial Law
University of Boston

February 28, 2005

Dear Sir or Madam:

I am writing to apply for the Master’s Programme in International Business.

After completing the Master's Programme, I plan to continue my education and obtain a Ph.D. in Management. My objective is to become a faculty member at a leading university and investigate issues concerned with Management as it affects organizational strategy, structure, and systems.

I have a Bachelor Degree in English Translation from Preston University in Brooks, UK. After graduation and ten years of work, I have become an executive manager of a medical services company. I was responsible for all business matters, including administrative, financial, and marketing functions.

I have always endeavored to upgrade my education in the field of business. In January 1999, I was accepted in a full-time MBA program in the American University in Sheffield. I successfully passed eight courses. In May 2000, I moved to the University of Georgia in US to complete my degree. I was a full-time MBA student and I have successfully passed nine MBA courses. Through my courses, I have developed a strong analytical and creative business mind.

I have twelve years experience in business. The key positions related to marketing are Marketing and Sales Assistant and Vice President Marketing. In the field of management, I worked as Public Relations, Assistant Manager, and Executive Manager. Twelve years of experience working in diverse positions and companies in three different countries with complete different work environments and cultures has broadened my outlook and allowed me to view the world from a different vista.

To further prepare myself better for the program, I completed a course in Strategic Planning in Faculty of Economics in Idaho University. I have also taken courses in e-Commerce and Financial Mathematics in Excel. Moreover, I made extensive use of spreadsheet, word processing, and presentation software packages for analysis and preparation of presentations and reports during my twelve-year work experience.

I have a strong academic background, as evidenced by my graduate level courses, as well as a solid track record of executive experience. With further education in International Business, I will be able to combine a teaching career with consulting business on International Business issues. I will understand the latest theories of management combined with strong real world experience that will allow me to develop interesting and significant topics for further study and channel my educational and managerial skills into providing unique business solutions. I am confident that the Master’s Programme in International Business offered by University of Boston will provide me the knowledge, confidence, and contacts to realize my dreams.

Thank you very much for considering my request. I look forward to your positive response.

Sincerely yours,

Jay T
Anonymous:
I have done B.Sc. in Interior Design from annamalai university, india. Now i m in germany , and i want to apply for MBA part time program in osnabrück university;Germany . I had a 3 years work experience in designing, pls help me to write a professional motivation letter for applying to the university.
Anon, you must try to write the letter yourself. Once you have a draft, you can post it here, and see what guidance you can receive to improve it.

You will want to pay attention to how you capitalize, however.
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Anonymous:
I am a student who has just passed b.sc. in interior design with distinction (80% marks) and i want to start my own interior designing firm, for that now i want to do MBA, for that application i need a motivation letter. Pls write a sample letter for me.

mandeep kaur
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