motivation letter, please check it

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Yohanna  #161909  Wed, 23 Nov 05 08:08 PM

Hi,

Check my English, please!

Thank you,

Yohanna

 

Dear Sir or Madam!

I would like to apply for the autumn course starting form August 2006 with a full scholarhip if possible.

Let me introduce myself. I am a *** year old student from ***. I live in a capital of ***. I am a student at *** University, facultaty of social scienses and economy. It is a very famous and acknowledged school in the country. I learn sociology and economics.

The most important things in my life is my family and friends. I try to live a healthy life so if I have got enough time I gladly go in for sports. I love going out, travelling and meeting with new people. In my school I am the member of the student self-government. It is a very hard, but exciting work. We organize the school programs for example the celebrate of first-years-students.

Recently I have learned of your special folk school system through a friend, and I am extremely interested in it. I decided to apply for addmission to a ***. I have seen many schools website on the net, and I have to admit, that it was very difficult to choose one. There is a wide variety of all kinds of subjects, that made me curious of learning more about other fields…

In *** there are no ***. I am so curious about the *** education- system. I would like to go and study in *** because I can improve my english, I can learn in danish and *** culture and I am so intrested in it. I am interested in *** culture and history and – of course – in social sciencies, in sociology and in international relationships. Your subjects are very alluring to me. I have chosen your school among many others, because I found the description of the school and the possible subjects very attractive to me. I think it offers a great choice for me to build up international personal relations and to test myself in foreign surroundings. To spend a few months at your *** would be a great possibility for me to learn a new culture and meet people from all around the world.

Finally, I would like to ask for financial support (a full scholarship) to my educational fee, because unfortunately my family can not afford to finance my semester abroad.

Thank you for considering my application. I am really looking forward to hearing from you as soon as possible.

Yours faithfully,

  
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Mister Micawber  #162049  Thu, 24 Nov 05 07:13 AM

Please go through and check your spelling first; this letter was not carefully proofread.


  
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Yohanna  #162064  Thu, 24 Nov 05 08:57 AM

Hi,

I looked through my spelling and corrected it.

Check my english, please!

Thanks, Yohanna

 

Dear Sir or Madam!

I would like to apply for the autumn course starting form August 2006 with a full scholarship if possible.

Let me introduce myself. I am a *** year old student from ***. I live in a capital of ***. I am a student at *** University, facultaty of social sciences and economy. It is a very famous and acknowledged school in the country. I learn sociology and economics.

The most important things in my life is my family and friends. I try to live a healthy life so if I have got enough time I gladly go in for sports. I love going out, travelling and meeting with new people. In my school I am the member of the student self-government. It is a very hard, but exciting work. We organize the school programs for example the celebrate of first-years-students.

Recently I have learned of your special *** system through a friend, and I am extremely interested in it. I decided to apply for admission to a ***. I have seen many schools website on the net, and I have to admit, it was very difficult to choose one. There is a wide variety of all kinds of subjects, that made me curious of learning more about other fields…

In *** there are no ***. I am so curious about the *** education- system. I would like to go and study in *** because I can improve my english, I can learn about *** and *** culture and I am so intrested in it. I am interested in *** culture and history and – of course – in social sciences, in sociology and in international relationships. Your subjects are very alluring to me. I have chosen your school among many others, because I found the description of the school and the possible subjects very attractive to me. I think it offers a great choice for me to build up international personal relations and to test myself in foreign surroundings. To spend a few months at your *** would be a great possibility for me to learn a new culture and meet people from all around the world.

Finally, I would like to ask for financial support (a full scholarship) to my educational fee, because unfortunately my family can not afford to finance my semester abroad.

Thank you for considering my application. I am really looking forward to hearing from you as soon as possible.

Yours faithfully,

  
Anonymous  #162144  Thu, 24 Nov 05 01:39 PM
(I forgot to log in again, sorry-- MM)


Thank you, Yohanna, but you didn't find all of the spelling mistakes.


Colon, not exclamation mark, after Madam
from August, not form August
Always two spaces after the period at the end of a sentence
the capital, not a capital
Faculty of Social Sciences and Economics

Delete this sentence:  It is a very famous and acknowledged school in the country.
I am studying
, not I learn
life are
not life is
a member
, not the member
it is very hard
, not it is a very hard
comma after programs
the welcoming of first-year students, not celebrate of first-years-students
schools' websites, not schools website
delete this: all kinds of
which made me curious about, not that made me curious of
very curious, not so curious
education system (no hyphen)
very interested, not so intrested
come and study
, not go and study
English
opportunity
,  not possibility
for my educational fee, not to my educational fee


  
Yohanna  #162338  Thu, 24 Nov 05 10:46 PM

Thank you very much!

 

Yohanna

  
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