Can someone have a look at the motivation letter below and let me know your coments? My main concern is the content of the text and not the english language itself. Is there something missing or is it far too detailed?

 Thank you very much in advance for your coments

Dear Sir or Madam,

 
I am writing to apply for the Master’s programme in International Health and Management. The opportunity of a Master’s Degree in a well-respected University in the UK such as the University *** will help me achieve my career aspirations by setting a very strong foundation for my future entering in healthcare organizations.

Ι have completed four years of undergraduate studies in Physiotherapy at the *** and gained a 7.24 out of 10 grade. In November 2007 I defended my thesis with title “Effects of Electromagnetic Fields in Human Body and their Usage in Physiotherapy” for which my score was 9.66 out of 10.

 
Since December 2006 I have been working for *** Medical Equipment Centre as an Assistant Project Manager which I strongly believe triggered my genuine passion for management.  From this position I found myself able to work alone or as a part of a team and really enjoy new challenges and organizing different tasks.  As part of my duties, I have been asked many times to participate in a project where a team of people had to work together in order to supply equipment or make a quotation for a large hospital, and I always occupied an essential position in terms of organising and managing different personalities, ideas and obstacles.

 
These challenges as well as my strong will to give my best to everything I undertake and never compromise with modesty helped me realise that I want to further my studies and gain the knowledge of Healthcare Management.  Through current challenging times, I understand that in order to reach my goals, apart from hard work I have to obtain a solid understanding of academic principles that will provide me with a global perspective and will allow me to chase my dreams of entering a health organization and contributing in my best way to its benefit.

 
Since I was born in Australia, studying in the UK has always seemed a natural course.  I was very keen on the English language and have always admired the reputation of English universities. Although my English is considered to be of a high standard, I strongly believe that spending my time in the UK will undoubtedly improve my English as well as my temperament and way of thinking.

 
I hope this letter will be given your full consideration and I will be happy to provide any further information you may require. As shown on my application form, I can be contacted via email at *** or via phone on ***.

 
Yours faithfully,

 ***