Hi, I would like to apply for an internship in UK, therefore I need a help with correcting mistakes in my motivation letter (in terms of grammar and structure). This is a letter addressed to the foreign department at my university. They demand an explanation of any reasons why I want to apply for the internship. I tried to tell all these reasons so that is why the cover letter is so long. I will very appreciate any of your efforts. Thanks Emotion: smile

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Dear Mrs. .....,

I am writing to you to expres my interest and motivation in applaying for an internship at Erasmus Programme. Having obtained the essentials information about the posibility of working abroad, I would very much appreciate being able to spend a few months in United Kingdom in London starting in June/July 2011.

My name is .... and I am dynamic and enthusiastic 23 year old Czech student. I am currently in my first year of Masters studies in Social and Mass Communications at .... I have decided to apply for this programme because getting a new perspective on my life from working in foreign european country is one of my major intents. From this experience I am expecting a challenge in professional and personal domains and I also hope for improving my knowledges and language skills.

During the past three years at university I gained a great theoretical and practical insight into public relations, marketing and media. After graduation (I have completed a Bachelor degree in June 2010) I awakened to my personal strenghts and skills as well as my career ambitions to think about which university fits best to me. Also, I thought about which university I would fit best to. As a result, I stayed at same university as before and I am continuing my academic career with the study of Social and Mass Communication. The reason was my huge interest in public relations which I have developed during my previous academic studies. One of majors reasons was primarily a chance to focus this semestr on the study of PR which I presume offers me great opportunities to enrich my knowledge about PR and discover another way of thinking and working about this field. In my future career I would like to focus on this sphere, especially on event management therefore I believe that Erasmus would help me realize my goals.

During my studies I constantly showed an ability to work under pressure, to deal with several tasks and to handle great amounts of new information at a time. I used this ability especially during the time when I had the chance to apply parts of my theoretical and practical knowledge while half-time working in television ... as a home affairs editor. Working in television was in every way very interesting and valuable. This job allowed me to learn how to work in a team, take my personal responsibilities for the common projects and to develop the confidence needed to succeed in a competetive environment. Because television company was just starting at that time, I had the opportunity to work on several things that do not fall within the competence of the editor. I had a chance to try work as a reporter, assistant to news manager and finally as a producer. In particular varied work of production aroused a great interest in me. Ensuring of important guests (politicians, actors or athletes) to the broadcasting and the organizational agenda associated with this job very entertained me. So this job has inspired me to get further and to set new challenges. I desire to extend my knowledge and qualities by working in a different country, among people of different nationalities and culture backgrounds and especially in PR and event management.

My primary objective is to gain valuable experiences with the functioning of the PR companies in UK. Moreover, I am looking forward to meeting and collaboration with people from PR whom I will learn much about this field. Working in PR sphere, for example as an event coordinator, that means to prepare and implement marketing campaigns, provide significant organizational events, to take care of existing clients and to search for new clients, will be an area where I wanted to find an application in my future. The internship I hope will gave me an excellent view behind the scenes of PR companies that deal with these issues and will be an outstanding opportunity to explore different working methods and practice my knowledges I gained at university. I am aware that currently it is very difficult to find employment in the industry you are looking for. Therefore I am not against the other job offers, such as print media or advertising. Any chance to work in UK will be great opportunity for me.

Having looked through the materials of the Erasmus I was delighted to find the opportunity to work in United Kingdom. I choose this country as my desired destination because I have been interested in English society for many years which also supports my motivation to live and work in this country. I love to be part of international people because it is a great opportunity to broaden my horizonts and get in touch with people I would normally never have the chance to meet. Getting to know different cultures and habits as well as different opinions and tastes corresponds strongly to my nature. A further advantage is the opportunity to discover the cultural heritage of UK in real life rather than from television, books and internet. Living and working abroad has benefits that I could not achieve by a short visit alone. Another reason for studying abroad is to improve my English skills by diping myself into the daily life of the country. I believe that there is no better language trainig than the country itself and that speaking another language is essential in the commercial life. All these positive aspects of working and living abroad I had opportunity to try for myself when I was working in England four years ago. I spent there an unforgettable four months as an au-pair. If I look at this experience I can say that I would definitely do it again and that part from (or maybe because of) minor problems along the way this experience has made me a stronger and more enthusiastic person. Although I have lived there for some time, I believe that United Kingdom still has a lot to offer. And not only in language skills, but also because of their different mentalities, attitudes toward life and different working conditions.

Erasmus is a lot more than a studying or working experience. For me it will be a way to look at the UK with new eyes, to feel and discover new emotions and learn what is not written in the textbooks. I am absolutely convinced that this internship provides me the real opportunity to work in any multinational company among highly qualified professionals with completely different backgrounds who are united by their enthusiasm, interest and drive. I am sure that the time spent in UK will allow me to broaden my perspective and contribute to my personal development by expanding my abilities and widening my experience in a variety of working disciplines. I consider it is a challenge and great opportunity to explore and identify ways of improving myself. It is not only about the improving my English skills or getting better in my work experiences. I wish, that this programme open up to me new horizonts and levels useful for my future, not only professional life.

I consider myself as a creative, flexible and trustworthy person. I am an independent team player and I have a high level of organizational skills. Furthermore I am also hardworking person in any given task and I learn best under pressure. Moreover, I passionately studied English and I have achieved conspicuous results. My ability to understand the English language, both spoken and written well, I can show by a certificate of FCE, which I succesfully passed in June 2007. So I truly believe that my level of English is more than sufficient for working abroad.

My strong motivation, knowledge background and huge interest in other cultures, together with my personality have let me confident that I will be a great candidate for this programme.

Thank you for considering my request. I am looking forward to your positive response.

Your sincerely,
New Member04
Thank you for posting your note on my profile and thank you for posting your letter. I will look at it shortly.
Senior Member2,528
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I had a quick review of your letter. What is your deadline?

You're correct--your letter is long, too long. It's just over two pages in length.

When writing a letter, you want it to be long enough to convey key information, but not so long that it invites criticism. We should aim for a letter that is about 1 - 1.5 pages.

Also, the grade level of your letter is 12. That means, it is difficult to read. We need to reduce the complexity. I suspect once we prune the letter and eliminate excess words, we will simplify your letter.

Please let me know your deadline.
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Thanks for your willingness to help me with the letter. I have about a week to put the letter in final form and send it. I hope it is enough time to for us to collectively give the correct form of the letter that will be the best. Emotion: smile
Dear Mrs. ..,

I am writing to you to expres my interest and motivation in applaying for an internship at Erasmus Programme. Having obtained the essentials information about the posibility of working abroad, I would very much appreciate being able to spend a few months in United Kingdom in London starting in June/July 2011. Obvious.

My name is .. and I am dynamic and enthusiastic 23 year old Czech student. I am currently in my first year of Masters studies in Social and Mass Communications at .. I have decided to apply for this programme because getting a new perspective on my life from working in foreign european country is one of my major intents. From this experience I am expecting a challenge in professional and personal domains and I also hope for improving my knowledges and language skills. They have your name at the bottom of the letter. Let's put the rest of the information aside for now. We might revisit it later.

During the past three years at university I gained a great theoretical and practical insight into public relations, marketing and media. After graduation (I have completed a Bachelor degree in June 2010) I awakened to my personal strenghts and skills as well as my career ambitions to think about which university fits best to me. Also, I thought about which university I would fit best to. As a result, I stayed at same university as before and I am continuing my academic career with the study of Social and Mass Communication. The reason was my huge interest in public relations which I have developed during my previous academic studies. One of majors reasons was primarily a chance to focus this semestr on the study of PR which I presume offers me great opportunities to enrich my knowledge about PR and discover another way of thinking and working about this field. In my future career I would like to focus on this sphere, especially on event management therefore I believe that Erasmus would help me realize my goals.

First, tell me what you are studied (faculty, program) and graduated from. Where do you want to go now.

Do not tell me a story. Instead, tell me through your actions what you like, what you are good at, and what you want to do.

During my studies I constantly showed an ability to work under pressure, to deal with several tasks and to handle great amounts of new information at a time. I used this ability especially during the time when I had the chance to apply parts of my theoretical and practical knowledge while half-time working in television ... as a home affairs editor. Working in television was in every way very interesting and valuable. This job allowed me to learn how to work in a team, take my personal responsibilities for the common projects and to develop the confidence needed to succeed in a competetive environment. Because television company was just starting at that time, I had the opportunity to work on several things that do not fall within the competence of the editor. I had a chance to try work as a reporter, assistant to news manager and finally as a producer. In particular varied work of production aroused a great interest in me. Ensuring of important guests (politicians, actors or athletes) to the broadcasting and the organizational agenda associated with this job very entertained me. So this job has inspired me to get further and to set new challenges. I desire to extend my knowledge and qualities by working in a different country, among people of different nationalities and culture backgrounds and especially in PR and event management.

This paragraph is good, though it needs work. You start off with your studies, and then talk about your television work mostly. Eliminate the studies material and focus on your television work. Then, think in a focused way what three things you want me to know about your television experience. Tell me about those three items.

My primary objective is to gain valuable experiences with the functioning of the PR companies in UK. Moreover, I am looking forward to meeting and collaboration with people from PR whom I will learn much about this field. Working in PR sphere, for example as an event coordinator, that means to prepare and implement marketing campaigns, provide significant organizational events, to take care of existing clients and to search for new clients, will be an area where I wanted to find an application in my future. The internship I hope will gave me an excellent view behind the scenes of PR companies that deal with these issues and will be an outstanding opportunity to explore different working methods and practice my knowledges I gained at university. I am aware that currently it is very difficult to find employment in the industry you are looking for. Therefore I am not against the other job offers, such as print media or advertising. Any chance to work in UK will be great opportunity for me.

This paragraph says why you want have an internship in the UK. This paragraph needs to be cleaned up. I am inclined to move this paragraph near the beginning. Introduce your letter with why you are writing. Then, your primary objective. And then, why you deserve to be given the opportunity.

Having looked through the materials of the Erasmus I was delighted to find the opportunity to work in United Kingdom. I choose this country as my desired destination because I have been interested in English society for many years which also supports my motivation to live and work in this country. I love to be part of international people because it is a great opportunity to broaden my horizonts and get in touch with people I would normally never have the chance to meet. Getting to know different cultures and habits as well as different opinions and tastes corresponds strongly to my nature. A further advantage is the opportunity to discover the cultural heritage of UK in real life rather than from television, books and internet. Living and working abroad has benefits that I could not achieve by a short visit alone. Another reason for studying abroad is to improve my English skills by diping myself into the daily life of the country. I believe that there is no better language trainig than the country itself and that speaking another language is essential in the commercial life. All these positive aspects of working and living abroad I had opportunity to try for myself when I was working in England four years ago. I spent there an unforgettable four months as an au-pair. If I look at this experience I can say that I would definitely do it again and that part from (or maybe because of) minor problems along the way this experience has made me a stronger and more enthusiastic person. Although I have lived there for some time, I believe that United Kingdom still has a lot to offer. And not only in language skills, but also because of their different mentalities, attitudes toward life and different working conditions.

Very long and a bit scattered. What the the three most important points from the above paragraph?

Erasmus is a lot more than a studying or working experience. For me it will be a way to look at the UK with new eyes, to feel and discover new emotions and learn what is not written in the textbooks. I am absolutely convinced that this internship provides me the real opportunity to work in any multinational company among highly qualified professionals with completely different backgrounds who are united by their enthusiasm, interest and drive. I am sure that the time spent in UK will allow me to broaden my perspective and contribute to my personal development by expanding my abilities and widening my experience in a variety of working disciplines. I consider it is a challenge and great opportunity to explore and identify ways of improving myself. It is not only about the improving my English skills or getting better in my work experiences. I wish, that this programme open up to me new horizonts and levels useful for my future, not only professional life.

Am I correct in saying that this paragraph is repetitive to the prior paragraph? Both paragraphs discuss strengthening your English skills. Again, what the key points from this paragraph? Are they the same of the prior paragraph?

I consider myself as a creative, flexible and trustworthy person. I am an independent team player and I have a high level of organizational skills. Furthermore I am also hardworking person in any given task and I learn best under pressure. Moreover, I passionately studied English and I have achieved conspicuous results. My ability to understand the English language, both spoken and written well, I can show by a certificate of FCE, which I succesfully passed in June 2007. So I truly believe that my level of English is more than sufficient for working abroad.

Again, this should be moved up in the letter. You want to tell the reader early what your key strengths and skills are. Also, if you describe positive attributes or adjectives, be sure to support that with some evidence. You need to say I am creative. I did this and that, which are creative activities. You need to prove what you say. Otherwise, eveyone would say that they are smart, good looking, and rich, and they deserve admission to any school in the world.

My strong motivation, knowledge background and huge interest in other cultures, together with my personality have let me confident that I will be a great candidate for this programme.

Thank you for considering my request. I am looking forward to your positive response.


Once everything else is fixed, we can make these two paragraphs stronger.

Your sincerely,

You've got some homework now.
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Well, I will try to think over your advices. I am going to take some time until tomorrow and then I will send you my response, ok?
Most certainly it is okay. Give my comments some thought. And then we'll fix your letter.
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Well, here is the final version of my cover letter. Thanks a lot MountainHiker. Emotion: smile

xxxxx

Dear …..,





I would like to apply for an internship with the Erasmus Programme. To strengthen my work experience and education, I would appreciate the opportunity to work for three to six months as an intern, preferably for a public relations company, in United Kingdom, London starting in June or July 2011.

I have always been interested in working and communicating with people. My parents own a family pub in small town in …... Since I was in high school, I have helped their business grow and prosper. Together we arranged social events for our guests, including billiards competitions, rock concerts, birthday parties, and wedding receptions. Through our work, I learned to communicate effectively with people, to listen to their needs and desires, to do many tasks at once, to organize and set priorities, and to find compromises and solutions. In summary, these early experiences with my parents’ business set the foundation for my passion in working with people in the public relations industry.

During my studies at high school and annual language courses, I intensively studied English. Through much hard−though enjoyable−work, I am able to speak, read and write English fluently. Furthermore, in …. 2007, I earned a Cambridge First Certificate.

While I learned about public relations, marketing, and media during my last three years in Bachelors studies at …., public relations captured my imagination and passion. One of our professors is actively working with a public relations company, and he often discussed live cases with us. Through his in-depth and thoughtful discussions, my appreciation of and desire for working in public relations grew.

Currently I am in my first year of my Masters program that is focused on public relations and marketing. Although I have gained an introduction to public relations, my aims are much higher. I want to gain a competitive edge by gaining an in-depth understanding of public relations strategy, marketing, and advertising operations.

Complementing my academic studies, I gained further work experience as a home affairs editor in television focused on …. Although I had a specific work title, I was fortunate to work in a number of different capacities, including production work and occasional assistant to the head of news. Through these roles, I worked with different teams to successfully complete projects on time. In the news media, we needed to find solutions to all challenges an efficient and timely manner. I found out this work experience as rewarding and inspiring.

As I have demonstrated by my accomplishments, I enjoy challenges and working with people. In year 2007, I went to London for four months to work as an au pair and to enhance my English language skills. I became a stronger, more enthusiastic and confident young woman. Now, I would like to return to London where I could continue to strengthen my career related skills by gaining valuable experience with public relations in United Kingdom. Moreover, by working in London, I plan to take advantage of the opportunity to become more proficient in English as well as learn more about London’s culture. In summary, to be successful in any important career, I need to gain as much international exposure where I am working with people as possible.

Given my history of commitment to excellence, I am positive that I will bring high level of energy and enthusiasm to Erasmus Programme. Because of my strong motivation, superior academic background, passion, and keen interest in other peoples and cultures, I am confident that I am a great candidate for an internship in United Kingdom.

Thank you for considering my request. I look forward to your positive response.

Yours sincerely,

…………
Anonymous:
Dear all,
I'm writing a Motivation Letter for Phd studies , and I would really appreciate you to help , I know this forum is very useful.

I wrote something but is still as draft. I waiting for your help. Thank you in advance.

Dear Sir
First of all, I would like to express my great interest to attend the Ph.D Scholarship position ` XXXX ` at the XXXXX, Technical University of Denmark.
Even years ago , before I started my studies in General Chemistry, I have not been accepted things just like they are, example that is the X thing and that is another Y thing. I have always been curios on: What is it about? What is it made from? How can I make it? While I was following the last year of my Bachelor studies, I observed the master thesis work of some other students and collaborated with them, until the end of their work.
My master thesis mentored by Prof . Dr. XX and Prof . Dr. XX was titled `XX with CO2 in Under Critical Conditions `, Faculty of Natyral Science, XXX. For the first time CO2 under critical conditions was applied to determine the possibility of using CO2 to fractionate components of the interest present in these extracts.

I have always been really interested in case which have the extraordinary impact on the health and everyday life; being the important issue it draws the researcher attention.

What made me delighted? I think that success tend on about hard-working, time management and being devoted. It was really a good feeling to see the wonder in my professors eyes and how they were amazed during my thesis presentation. To better explain the extraction process I also prepared-used a video animation.

After I have finished my studies, I have worked in some different new companies. I was lucky working in these new companies. This gave me the opportunity to reveal my abilities in the management and creating the departments. For instance: management of the laboratory and the implementation of the ISO standards 17025 & 9001.

I really find myself professionally and personally in these experience because, it is interesting to exchange our vision about the future. But the most important is that I think the nano structures reveal the way to the perfection.

Thank you for considering my application.
Sincerely yours
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