MY CHILDHOOD DAYS...PLEASE CHECK MY ESSAY

Sitifatimahmurtaza:

MY CHILDHOOD DAYS

I still remember some of the wonderful memories when I was young. I lived with my grandparents since I was eight-year-old as my parents had been busy with their business. My grandparents lived in a beautiful wooden, colourful house with five rooms only. The front lawn was kept clean and bare. At the back, though my grandmother had planted a number of vegetables for our consumption, there was also a chicken coop and a barn for the cows. My growing up years were often spent playing and exploring. I used to play soldiers, police and thief, and hide and seek with my playmates around grandfather's land. My grandfather,on the other hand,taught me about the plants and how to look after them. My grandmother was a good cook and I remembered hanging around the kitchen to help. I really enjoyed making 'kuih baulu' and frying the 'roti canai'. During those days,we seldom watched television as we were just busy having fun doing other things. Besides,My grandfather also planted many kind of fruit trees such a rambutan,papaya,durian,mangosteen and guava. My favourite was a rambutan tree which grew to look like a giant. I really had a great time staying with my grandparents. I used to wish that these moments would never end. I would always cherish the beautiful memories of my childhood days.

New Member08

Anonymous:

Really Good. It is easy to understand.

JohnParis:

Dear Sitifatimahmurtaza,

Avoid using "as" : use "because".

Here is my edition of your essay. These are only suggestions. Organization, however, is important - like when you speak of your grandfather, his plants and his trees. These thoughts belong together. Hope this helps. John

I still remember (still have) many wonderful memories from when I was young. From the age of eight I lived with my grandparents because my parents were busy with their business. My grandparents (what about saying We all ?) lived in a beautiful, colourful, wooden five-room house. The front lawn was kept clean and bare. At the back, though, my grandmother had planted a number of vegetables for our consumption. There was also a chicken coop and a barn for the cows. My growing up years were often spent playing and exploring. I used to play soldiers, police and thief (native speakers would say "cops and robbers"), and hide and seek with my playmates all around grandfather's land. My grandfather taught me about plants and how to look after them. He also planted many kinds of fruit trees such as rambutan,papaya,durian,mangosteen and guava. My favourite was a rambutan tree which grew to look like a giant. My grandmother was a good cook and I remember hanging around the kitchen to help. I really enjoyed making 'kuih baulu' and frying the 'roti canai'. Back then, we seldom watched television because we were just busy having fun and doing other things. I really had a great time staying (living) with my grandparents. I used to wish that those moments would never end (would last forever). I will always cherish those beautiful memories of my childhood.

Senior Member3,043

MY CHILDHOOD DAYS...PLEASE CHECK MY ESSAY

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