Hello Stringer,
Your essay reads reasonably well, but it is-- as are most essays-- too wordy, redundant and convoluted. It should be much simpler, clearer and more direct. Let me whittle away at your first paragraph, for instance:
ORIGINAL:
A typical policeman, in most developed countries, would instill a sense
of security in one’s mind, exhibit honesty, confidence and last but not
the least discipline. In contrast, an Indian policeman reminds one of
the ubiquitous jokes in magazines, satellite channels etc ridiculing
their unfitness, greasy hands, cowardice etc. That the police system is
the backbone of the society and is very imperative for the smooth
functioning of it is not a top secret. Unfortunately in India, we don’t
have enough virtuous politicians and office bearers to realize it and
do the needful to rejuvenate the present weary police system
REVISED:
A policeman in most developed countries instills a sense
of security, and exhibits honesty, self-confidence, and discipline. In contrast, an Indian policeman reminds one of
the media jokes ridiculing
their unfitness, cowardice and greasy hands. The police system is
obviously the backbone of a society and is essential for its smooth
functioning. Unfortunately, India has too few honest politicians and office holders to realize this and rejuvenate its worn-out police system.