My first short story

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maj

#21874 Mon, 09 Feb 04 01:27 PM

I have been wanting to write a short story for ages. Finally, I have made up my mind. I would really appreciate your help, and comments.

She couldn't put up with the situation any longer. It had been so difficult to imagine what was going on in his mind at that very moment. So she went up to him and asked: Look into my eyes and tell me you don't love me. He was ... (to be continued) Do you like it?

maj

Joined on Mon, Mar 31 2003

Senior Member (4,756)

deepa

#21995 Tue, 10 Feb 04 04:34 PM

MAJ! I have been asking to post your pic for ages. perhaps you would say for that too "Finally, I have made up my mind". when that day will come ..tell!
the story begins good ...tell me the end! i like it.

deepa

Joined on Tue, Nov 18 2003

Pondicherry ,India

Regular Member (848)

maj

#22028 Tue, 10 Feb 04 06:59 PM

The end??? You know that every good story has a beginning, a body and an end. Deepa, wasn't it you who said something about the beauty of being patient?

maj

deepa

#22077 Wed, 11 Feb 04 03:34 AM

i dont want to be a patient!! Wink [;)]

deepa

maj

#22555 Mon, 16 Feb 04 09:51 AM

She couldn't put up with the situation any longer. It had been so difficult to imagine what was going on in his mind at that very moment. So she went up to him and asked: Look into my eyes and tell me you don't love me. He didn't want to tell her what he felt for her, maybe because he was not sure of his own feelings. They looked into each other's eyes and felt what it was dancing a tango but remained motionless waiting for the other to make the next move. It felt like ages, time had never seemed so endless. The magic stopped when the waiter asked her: Would you like anything else to drink? That brought her back to reality in seconds.

maj

deepa

#22597 Mon, 16 Feb 04 06:51 PM

tch!! the waiter didnt get any other moment to jump in between! spoiled such a beautiful moment!! Angry [:@]

deepa

#22598 Mon, 16 Feb 04 06:55 PM

the moment was so romantic! any one could go heaD OveR HeelS!!!!! maj ! please next time see that no one should interfere them! so continue...

deepa

maj

#22634 Tue, 17 Feb 04 08:29 AM

I would like my story to be as objective as possible, you know the objective point of view. Could some of the male posters write something about the feelings this guy might have been experiencing then I would incorporate them into the story?. I would definitely mention your name as a contributor when the story is finished. My problem is that it is sometimes difficult for me to figure out what guys think.

maj

deepa

#22645 Tue, 17 Feb 04 12:12 PM

hmm good point ...ok i will wait!

deepa

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