Hello I have a tremendous background of true stories in my life. I could write about anything until it comes to my own personal life. It is to hard for me to write. I want to write about my son Gabriel who had passed away on Feb, 04 2008 at the age of twelve, but every time I start writing I start writing other places in our lives that affected us. My son Gabriel lived with brain cancer since he was one years old. He was diagnosed back in 1996 and lived with this deadly disese for twelve years of his life he was just a month away from being thirteen when he passed. I just done know where to start. I want to tell the audience about gabriel and who he was and that he inspired alot of people but i dont want the audience to know that he lived with cancer his whole life until the end of the essay and dont want them to know that he passed also until the end but is that possible. I wrote three different papers and had them reviewed I just cant get it right. Here is the latest two. Just please let me know what I am doing and what i need to do. Thank You.
A Moment Changed For Generations to Come Estella Gomez (student)
February 4, 2008 was a memory so vivid so engraved in one’s mind that would change the lives not just for one person but for so many people. This was true life’s questions; it honors a legacy for generations to come. How does this happen? What is life’s true question? This is where a new life from a legacy that changed lives forever.
As we live life we meet people who have impacted our lives weather in positive way or a negative way these moments will help us perceive life in so many differ ways. With many ups and downs the hardships and joyous times one remembers are what make us perceive and embrace life. There are also those who are extraordinary courage’s and full of a divine spirit that one becomes a hero and doesn’t even know it, the hero humbles himself daily, so that he may be restored for the next day’s challenge and purpose to save lives. (Green Mile by Stephen King) a great example, of the extraordinary person that was human, just as we all are but was given a divinity like godsend and worked through to achieve the master plan of God.
Gabriel Valladee a twelve-year old young man whom I’ve known since in the womb. He’s so organized, spotless and a great helper. He can be shy sometimes but yet can be a jokester or a batman hero for say, keeping lives safe at night as he watches over them and protects them from life’s harm. He’s so full of great character but he is different from other kids he is unique, special, he’s godsend.
Gabriel and I had such a bond; words cannot describe the bond we had; only God knew. That’s what makes Gabriel so extraordinary. Every moment spent with him was a blessing from the Lord above. At an early I always spent quality time with him reading the word of God and praying together to our Heavenly Father. He loved going to church and listening to the music and the sermons. He had an instant love for Jesus, never doubting his words. He believed in him and had a close connection with him. When Gabriel would go thru all the pain he endured in his life I have never seen anyone have strength ever so strong and courageous. He never in his life felt weak, or it never even occurred in his mind to give up. He is what hope is made of but hope was only given to him through Jesus Christ.
Those intimate times we shared together are so cherished in my heart and soul. Just before bedtime he would come to my room lay down next to me while I was reading, writing or just watching TV. We would watch shows or a movie and talk with love laughter at whatever it was we were watching like Sponge-Bob, Avatar, Smallville, Batman, Scooby-Doo, etc. There were other times he would talk with me about personal issues. I remember the day he told me he had liked a girl at school. Her name was Kiera and he described her as the prettiest girl and class. After describing her he asked me the big question “Mom, how do I ask her for her phone number”. I was dumbfounded but yet felt so whole that he confided in me more than anyone else.
January 18th how do you tell a child such news? Do you tell him at all? This hadn’t been the first time but the feeling in a mothers heart knew but there was always no, no, no running through her mind. Never wanting to believe or accepting such a matter she continued to have faith and hope in hope in her heart & very soul through the Holy Spirit that only is given from the Lord our God.
Oh how the pain started and the aching. She wanted to take all the pain away from Gabriel. It’s not fair. Why Gabriel Why My son Why any child….
It was a vague memory in my head. Never wanting this day to surrender, it wasn’t fair… The Lord had given a child full of beauty, to inspire others and help them understand and lead them to his precious son Jesus. Yes, we believe in the one and only true God above and his son Jesus. We shall believe that God sent his one & only son Jesus to come and save us by dying on the cross for our sinful nature and through his blood we have been saved, hallelujah. We have been redeemed, all who come to Jesus will be saved and will live with him for eternity, he has promised us this, we believe, he said that he will build us a place for when it is our time he will have place ready for us.
This child Gabriel, I have never seen in my life the way the last two weeks he has been. There were so many people so many visitors. All he wanted was his cousins and mommy there. We had many laughs and smiles during these times; Mommy was a mess though, trying her hardest not to cry in front of him. Most of the time she couldn’t help it but Gabriel didn’t mind at all. He wanted his mommy there all the time. She was a beautiful woman who was simply his all. He loved her unconditionally; every time he would see her she was just so perfect in his eyes.
There was a time when she had just woke up out of bed and passing by his room he stopped her and said “Mom I see a real pretty girl” and Mom thinking okay I know who it is because he had a Britney Spears poster on his wall so she replied “Oh yah I’m sure you do.” His response was “You know who?” Mom was like “Yah.” Gabriel asked “Who.” Mom replied “Britney Spears poster on the wall.” And he said “No, Mom not her, It’s you, you’re the pretty girl I see.” Moms heart just melted away and said “ ah baby, thank you ah that’s so sweet” she went over to his bed gave him a big hug and kiss and said to him “I Love You, Mijo.” That was so sweet”
A Moment Changed for Generations to Come 2nd paper
Its been over a year since that day Febuary 04, 2008. It was a day I never believed would come.
It did though. I look back on the last year and find myself never to be healed. It is something that I am learning to live with and learning how to control my pain. It so deeply painful it far surpasses the center of the heart that goes down deep to thy very soul. My soul within me is heavy laden. How I continue every day is not my own strength. My strength only comes from the grace of God. It is him who gave me the holy spirit through Jesus Christ whom saved me from death. Thank you Jesus for saving me, for carrying me through the mire Amen.
It all started when I met an infant whom was created in my womb for nine months. A beautiful child whom I named Gabriel. I remember when I first saw him. He looked like a baby eagle with his little wrinkly body and his mouth chirping when a mother eagle brings back her prey of worms and her babies are chirping with their mouths open wide. This child that was given to me from God was truly a blessing. We never knew what the future would hold for us. All I knew was that I loved him instantly. A bond between us was no ordinary bond between mother and child. It was a bond that only God himself could give a mother and child. I never would understand it until that day came.
As Gabriel started growing he was really irresistible. He was far beyond beautiful. When I took him places I never got so many compliments of a child before from me having three children.
Gabriel being my oldest of three children. He always stood out like a diamond in the ruff. He was always so happy and a great jokester. When he was in the second grade he had got a reward for being the jokester in class. I believe he got that from his mama. He was very outgoing in his younger years, very sociable, he always knew how to turn that frown upside down. He had such a full and blessed heart that can touch anyone who met him.
I remember it was the year 1999 we used to live in phoenix in a apartment down on seventy first avenue and Indian school. It was just me being a single mother raising my two boys Gabriel & Raymond. They were a year and a half apart. Well it was on a Sunday morning I got up to go get ready for church and while I was in the shower I heard a lot of commosion going on. So I got out and I heard the boys in the kitchen laughing and banging like they were jumping up and down.
I went to see what was going on, oh my goodness, no they didn’t. They had poured milk all over the floor and were slipping and sliding in milk laughing there heads off. My first reaction was to me seemed funny but was also very upset. I said in a very bold voice “what are you boys doing.”
They looked at me with an “uh oh were in trouble.” I told them to immediately go straight to the shower. So they did with there little giggling voices. Now as look back that was very funny.
We moved out of those apartments in the year 2000. We moved to the pj’s also known as the projects in Tolleson. Gabriel was five and Raymond was three. We had lots of fun there I being a mother so devoted, loving and so much fun I made sure we all had.
When Christmas would come along it was all of our favorite holiday. We would go all out decorating our pj apartment inside and outside. Gabriel always helped to put the lights on the roof and lights on the tree. He was very skilled in artistic works. So he had a keen eye for the unusual things. This had always surprised me when he was just an infant but I knew why when he was at the age of three. I was eighteen and that’s when I started searching for what was the meaning of this life. My heart was filled with so much heaviness but my goal was to make sure I was strong and happy so I wouldn’t worry my boys. So I started attending differ churches trying to find the purpose of life and the meaning of a higher power. I attended church when I was younger both cathiloc which was extremely boring to me and never learned anything from there. I also went to a Baptist church my dad would take us there I did learn but don’t have reculectual rememberance of what was important. I just remember the great stories told like moses and noahs ark.
So I went searching, searching for meaning of life and why so much suffering in life. On my journey to find a meaning I attended a lot of churches from catholic to mormon to jehova witness to penecostal to baptism to etc… You get the picture. Finally a friend of mine invited me to church and I attended. I wasn’t to fond of it but my friend insisted that I go again because it wasn’t the senior pasture that sermoned that night. I agreed I would go again and I did. All I know is that when I went again my heart felt weird. It was a strange feeling and I understood
everything that the pasture had sermon that wednsday night. So after that I went again. It wasn’t until the fourth or fifth time I knew that I would stay there and learn more about the meaning of life and what life’s purpose is for. I learned and humbly gave my life to Jesus. I found lifes true purpose. What I didn’t realize until later what giving your life up will have cost you. When I gave my life to Jesus I just endured so much pain so many storms, I got lost in the sea so many times, I was at the bottom of the pit and nowhere to be found, I had given up, so I thought, but it was Jesus who came and rescued me from every torment in life. Jesus carried me and never once rested to get a break when I was in a deep state of choma. Jesus wouldn’t let know one dear to touch me because I belong to him, only he knew what troubled my heart and mind. He understands me like no one can.
The way I imagine this is I am in the deepest part of the oceans of oceans where man could never go. I was there lost at sea when the heaviest storm bigger that the biggest hurricane came and swallowed me up to the bottomless pit. Yes I drowned nowhere to be found and no one could ever revive a dead person who has been in the bottomless pit for more than a tear with there body already been a corpse. Well in the deepest part of the ocean My body wasn’t a corpse yet I was yes dead because I could not breathe underwater and I also coundnt see but I could still hear. All I could hear were dreadful scary things. Things that Ive never heard before it was so scary. I thought soon I would become a corpse to something evil, that one by one something would come and start tearing me to pieces as they eat my flesh away, but never knowing what it looked like because there was no sight in the bottomless pit. It was just pure blackness everywhere.
I don’t know exactly how long I was there but it seemed a lifetime to me. I had given up. Even though I believed in Jesus and gave my life to him I felt abandoned. I knew though not to blame him that it was my own fault but I at a time I was angry with him. I pleaded and pleaded but got no answer. Now I lay there with no hope in my heart I am dead, don’t care about anything no more. Just thinking back on my life detail’s regretting most of life. So now I lay there still not thinking of anything no more. Nothing left in me just waiting for the creatures that I could here so close to me to come finish me off. I had lapsed into a deep choma now, just me dead there at the bottomless pit.