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Need help on my poor english
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Anonymous  #462299  Wed, 09 Jan 08 04:15 PM

- Based on the annual report, I would like to introduce the remarks to all of you : the hightlight of green mean the shipment was shipped; the hightlight of yellow mean the order was cancelled; the updated data is use red wording, but it will be changed to normal (black color) for the next report. All the data will be kept on even thegoods were shipped

- We are sorry to inform you that, due to the customs document problem from the factory, they are unable to delivery the goods of ABC123 today and will be deliveried tomorrow
  
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Avangi  #462429  Thu, 10 Jan 08 12:27 AM
 Anonymous wrote:

- Based on the annual report, I would like to introduce make/address/present the following remarks/information to all of you, based on/in explanation of the annual report: the hightlight of a green highlight means the shipment was/has been shipped; the hightlight of a yellow highlight means the order was/has been cancelled; the updated data is use appears in red wording text, but it will be changed to normal (black color text) for the next report. All the data will be kept on retained even after the goods were are/have been shipped.

- We are sorry to inform you that , due to because of the customs document problem from at the factory, they are unable to delivery the goods of designated ABC123 cannot be delivered today and but will be deliveried tomorrow.
  
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Anonymous  #462441  Thu, 10 Jan 08 12:59 AM
Thank you very much Avangi
  
Anonymous  #462730  Thu, 10 Jan 08 05:18 PM
 Avangi wrote:
 Anonymous wrote:

- Based on the annual report, I would like to introduce make/address/present the following remarks/information to all of you, based on/in explanation of the annual report: the hightlight of a green highlight means the shipment was/has been shipped; the hightlight of a yellow highlight means the order was/has been cancelled; the updated data is use appears in red wording text, but it will be changed to normal (black color text) for the next report. All the data will be kept on retained even after the goods were are/have been shipped.

- We are sorry to inform you that , due to because of the customs document problem from at the factory, they are unable to delivery the goods of designated ABC123 cannot be delivered today and but will be deliveried tomorrow.

Hi Avangi,

I have a query, why there is use at instead of from for the second sentence ? "customs document problem from at the factory"

Please advise. Thanks

Regards/Zoe
  
Avangi  #462772  Thu, 10 Jan 08 07:35 PM

Hi Zoe,

I'm having a hard time explaining that one!  If I say, "where is this problem coming from?" I get the sense that it's a recurring or continuing problem and we're looking for the source.  It probably would have been better to say, "because of a customs document problem at the factory,"  Okay, it's our problem now, and it "came" to us from the factory.

But if I say, "Where is the problem?", the answer is, "It's at the factory."   "What problem are we talking about?"  "The one at the factory."  I'm thinking of it as a one-time screwup at the factory, rather than a big problem that we have all the time with our system  -   and it's all their fault!  -  It's coming from the factory!

Like I said, I'm having trouble explaining it!

Regards,  - A.
  
Anonymous  #462842  Fri, 11 Jan 08 12:35 AM
 Anonymous wrote:
 Avangi wrote:
 Anonymous wrote:

- Based on the annual report, I would like to introduce make/address/present the following remarks/information to all of you, based on/in explanation of the annual report: the hightlight of a green highlight means the shipment was/has been shipped; the hightlight of a yellow highlight means the order was/has been cancelled; the updated data is use appears in red wording text, but it will be changed to normal (black color text) for the next report. All the data will be kept on retained even after the goods were are/have been shipped.

- We are sorry to inform you that , due to because of the customs document problem from at the factory, they are unable to delivery the goods of designated ABC123 cannot be delivered today and but will be deliveried tomorrow.

Hi Avangi,

I have a query, why there is use at instead of from for the second sentence ? "customs document problem from at the factory"

Please advise. Thanks

Regards/Zoe

Hi A

I have a question why did u chanage the santance "they are unable to delivery the goods of ABC123 today " into "the goods designated ABC123 cannot be deliveried today "? I am not able to understand meanig of " designated "  here .

Can you please expalin me and please do correction in my question if any requried.

thanks

Kamaya
  
Avangi  #463090  Fri, 11 Jan 08 04:52 PM

I have a question:  Why did you change the sentence " - - - - - - " to " - - - - - - - "?  I don't understand the meaning of "designated" here.  Can you please explain it to me?   -    And would you please make any necessary corrections to my question?

Hi Kamaya,

There's quite a lot of information here for a single sentence.  I tried to arrange it so it would flow and still be clear.

"The goods of ABC123" is not an expression we would use.  Perhaps "your order of ABC123" would be better.  (I didn't really like "designated" but couldn't think of anything better at the time.)  "The goods named ABC123" would mean the same as designated, but we wouldn't say that either.

The other change you asked about has to do with parallel sentence structure.  The last phrase in the original, "and will be delivered tomorrow," is in passive voice.  The preceding  phrase, "they are unable to deliver the goods . . . ." is active voice with a subject "they" (they being the factory.)  "They" sounded a little childish to me so I killed two birds with one stone by using passive voice for both phrases.  (If we made them both active voice, we would have needed to repeat they in the second phrase   -   "and they will deliver them tomorrow.")

Best wishes,  - A.
  
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