I have made a few suggestions.

debangkok

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Dear Sir,

 

I am writing this letter to apply for  the credit analysis position in response to your advertisement in Jobsdb.com.

 

I graduated from KH (you might give the location of this school) University and hold with a bachelors degree  from the faculty of Economics, with a  major in Business Economics. I then challenged myself with my own  Vietnamese Food business. This gave me a great opportunity  to enhance my entrepreneurship.I have learned how to operate a real business as an entrepreneurial owner, including marketing and sales, problem solving and dealing with department stores. (It is not clear if the department stores were customers or suppliers, so you might say  "dealing with customers and suppliers.")

 

In addition, I had been was employed as a customer service representative (credit anaysis) in Citi Group. I was responsible for credit analysis in both consumer and commercial finance, worked in loan collections and maintained relationships with customers.

I believe that my experience, analytical skills and commercial sense and also keep track of ecomic situation would be an asset to your company, so I welcome the An opportunity to discuss how my abilities and skills  and how  I can help your company would be most welcome. I appreciate  your consideration and  look forward to  meeting you.

 

Yours faithfully,

 

 

 

Enclosure: Resume

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