Your openions are highly appreciated

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A.elbatal  #380729  Sun, 17 Jun 07 04:58 PM
Hi All,

I would like to know your openion on the way th following paragraphs is written cuz personally I find the the structuring of the sentences is unsual and I have a feeling that it has been translated literaly from french to English... Correct me if I'm wrong...

Here we go...


" You know you're going somewhere special when weary travellers' faces are transfixed by the sweeping vistas visible through an aircraft window as it comes in to land. It is a feeling which anyone who has flown into Nice airport will know well.

On a clear day, sunlight sparkles on the portholes of the super yachts bobbing on the azure Mediterranean. The coastline can clearly be seen curving from France round to Italy, and between the two countries you can see the tiny principality of Monaco, famed for its spotless streets, historic hotels and high octane Grand Prix.

With no airport in Monaco itself, the quickest way there is by helicopter from Nice. The 10-minute flight offers a stunning spectacle which beats any seen from the confines of a cabin window. Swooping through the haze and over the cypress trees lining the hilltops is an exhilarating experience, it is on landing in Monaco that the VIP-treatment really begins.

At 195 hectares, Monaco is small enough to fit inside New York's Central Park. It has the air of a palatial theme park, replete with its own castle, a palace belonging to the ruling Grimaldi family, perched high on a mountain above the principality. All it takes is a few hours to discover that the legends about the Monaco really are true."
  
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Marius Hancu  #380784  Sun, 17 Jun 07 09:23 PM
openion

This is good English. Still:

Swooping through the haze and over the cypress trees lining the hilltops is an exhilarating experience, but it is on landing in Monaco that the VIP-treatment really begins.
  
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A.elbatal  #380791  Sun, 17 Jun 07 09:29 PM
Oooops. Sorry guys.. I mean opinion. Thanx Marius Hancu.
  
A.elbatal  #380940  Mon, 18 Jun 07 08:23 AM
Hi guys,

Idon't need you to correct the long paragraph that I posted. all what Ineed is to know is How do you rank its language and structure out of 10?

Thanx
  
nona the brit  #380948  Mon, 18 Jun 07 08:57 AM
It reads as a pretty typical piece of 'marketing/advertising' writing.
  
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A.elbatal  #381135  Mon, 18 Jun 07 04:56 PM
Actually it is for that purpose.. don't you agree with me that it is a bit complicated <img src="/emoticons/emotion-5.gif" alt="Wink [;)]" />
  
nona the brit  #381158  Mon, 18 Jun 07 06:06 PM
Well it sounds like fairly standard, if cliched, hype to me.
  
Lil' Ruby Rose  #381219  Mon, 18 Jun 07 09:33 PM
The English is fine.  The style reads like any travel magazine write-up.  There's nothing unusual or out-of-register about it.
  
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