At/on the other side (aka Yet Another Tiny Question)

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Ant_222

#511818 Fri, 09 May 08 11:13 PM

Hello everbody, before you is another description form a game I am translating. I'd like you to help me choose between "on" and "at".

«I stood at the bottom of the ancient open mine. Possibly, here was where the raw materials were mined for the military factory _at_ the other side of the tunnel, the entrance to which was in the south.»

+ Hope it's clear that "which" refers to "tunnel"...

Anton

Ant_222

Joined on Sun, May 21 2006

Podolsk, Russia

Senior Member (1,300)

Clive

#511846 Fri, 09 May 08 11:53 PM

Hi,

before you is another description form a game I am translating. I'd like you to help me choose between "on" and "at". Either seems OK.

«I stood at the bottom of the ancient open mine. Possibly, here was where the raw materials were mined for the military factory _at_ the other side of the tunnel, the entrance to which was in the south.»

+ Hope it's clear that "which" refers to "tunnel"... No, it's not clear to me.

Is the military factory at the other side of the tunnel, or is that where the mining is done?

Best wishes, Clive

Clive

Joined on Thu, Oct 28 2004

Canada

Forum Guru (18,193)

El tango argentino es un pensamiento triste que se puede bailar (The tango argentino is a sad thought which can be danced) Enrique Santos Discépolo

Huevos

#511850 Sat, 10 May 08 12:16 AM

Clive
Is the military factory at the other side of the tunnel

There's something wrong here. First if you say side of the tunnel you are refering to left and right. In this case the preposition would be "on". i.e. "on the other side". You would use the preposition "at" for the ends of the tunnel, i.e. "at the end of the tunnel".

Huevos

Joined on Tue, Mar 25 2008

Spain

Junior Member (37)

Prepositions

Clive

#511865 Sat, 10 May 08 01:04 AM

Hi,

if you say side of the tunnel you are refering to left and right Not necessarily. Only if I am facing 'aong the tunnel, ie towards the exit.

Let's say the tunnel runs from east to west.

'The use of the term 'at the other side of the tunnel' suggests that I am standing in the tunnel near the south side, and the thing we are speaking of is opposite me, at the north side.

Best wishes, Clive

Clive

Ant_222

#511973 Sat, 10 May 08 09:30 AM

«Is the military factory at the other side of the tunnel, or is that where the mining is done?»

This mining was done "here" — right where the hero stands: "..._here_ was where the raw materials had been mined for the military factory on the other end of the tunnel" — I have made two changes:

1) Past Perfect ("had been mined") — because the mine (as well as the factory, which is mentioned earlier in the game) had long since been abandoned by the time the hero visited it. I had overlooked it when translating and so did I during the many re-reads...
2) I changed "at the other side" to the less(?) ambigous "on the other end".

Should I add something like "...for the military factory _which was_ on the other end of the tunnel" to make it clearer?

«No, it's not clear to me.» Hmmm. So, what about extracting this last clause into a seperate sentence so that the final version will be:

«I stood at the bottom of the ancient open mine. Possibly, here was where the raw materials had been mined for the military factory which was on the other end of the tunnel. The entrance to the tunnel was in the south.»

It has become more wordy and I am not sure I have corrected the drawbacks you indicated. But I have tried.

What do you think?

Ant_222

Clauses, Past perfect

Ant_222

#512064 Sat, 10 May 08 12:48 PM

Any feedback on the last version?

Ant_222

Clive

#512165 Sat, 10 May 08 07:38 PM

Hi,

«I stood at the bottom of the ancient open mine. Possibly, here was where the raw materials had been mined for the military factory which was at the other end of the tunnel. The entrance to the tunnel was in the south.»

Correct grammar, but wordy.

'in the south' - in the south of what? Where you are standing? Then say 'to the south'.

'Military factory' is an uncommon phrase. It's more common to say what is made there, eg a munitions factory.

Best wishes, Clive

Clive

Grammar

Ant_222

#512198 Sat, 10 May 08 10:30 PM

Thanks for the reply.

So, if I want to mention a direction relative to the hero's current location, only "To the south/north/east" works... Hmmm. The one who was helping me with the translation didn't mind when I proposed to alternate "To" and "In" so as to make the descriptins a little more varied. All navigation is based on the four directions which makes the texts kinda monotous with lots of equally-structured sentences: To the north was that, To the south I saw this, That spread across the west and the road went east...

«'Military factory' is an uncommon phrase. It's more common to say what is made there, eg a munitions factory.»
Weapons factory should be better then...

Ant_222

Translation

CalifJim

#512292 Sun, 11 May 08 06:51 AM

I thought tunnels went through something. So don't they have two entrances? Which one would be the entrance? I didn't get that part.

CalifJim

Joined on Mon, Aug 2 2004

California

Forum Guru (14,827)

"There are no facts, only interpretations" - Nietzsche

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